Telling someone how much they mean to you can feel surprisingly awkward, even when the feelings are genuine and strong.
However, even if you show them how you feel via your behaviour, a little verbal affirmation is always welcome. The key isn’t finding perfect words or grand gestures, but choosing approaches that feel authentic to both your personality and your relationship with that person. Here are some things you can do to make sure they know how much you care.
1. Focus on specific moments rather than general statements.
Instead of saying “you mean everything to me,” mention particular times when their presence made a difference. Talk about how they helped you through a difficult day or how their laugh brightened a mundane moment.
Share concrete memories like “when you stayed up with me when I was worried about that job interview” or “the way you remembered my mum’s birthday when I forgot.” Specific examples show you’ve been paying attention to their impact on your life.
2. Tell them what you’ve learned from knowing them.
People love hearing how they’ve influenced other people positively, whether it’s becoming more patient, trying new things, or seeing the world differently. It shows growth and gives them credit for contributing to who you’ve become. Explain how they’ve changed your perspective on something important or helped you develop a quality you didn’t know you had. That sort of appreciation acknowledges their role in your personal development.
3. Write a letter you actually give them.
Physical letters feel more permanent and thoughtful than texts or emails, and they can be kept and reread when someone needs encouragement. The effort of handwriting shows intentionality that digital messages can’t match. Don’t overthink the writing process or worry about perfect prose. Write like you’re talking to them, sharing genuine thoughts about what they bring to your life and why you’re grateful for their presence.
4. Notice and acknowledge their character traits.
Point out qualities they might not even recognize in themselves, like their ability to make everyone feel comfortable or their knack for finding solutions when everyone else is stressed. Such recognition can be deeply meaningful. Be specific about how these traits show up in their daily life. Instead of “you’re so kind,” try “you always check on people who seem left out at parties” or “you remember details about what’s important to everyone.”
5. Share what you admire about how they handle challenges.
Everyone faces challenges, but acknowledging someone’s grace, resilience, or wisdom during tough times shows you see their strength. It validates their struggles while celebrating their character. Talk about specific ways they’ve impressed you during difficult periods, whether it’s their patience with difficult people, their optimism during setbacks, or their ability to keep going when things get tough.
6. Tell them directly without qualifying statements.
Sometimes the most powerful approach is simple honesty without softening it with jokes, disclaimers, or nervous additions. Clear, straightforward appreciation can be surprisingly impactful when it comes from genuine feeling. Get comfortable saying things like “I’m really grateful you’re in my life” or “you matter more to me than you might realise” without immediately changing the subject or making light of the moment.
7. Mention how they make ordinary moments better.
Source: Unsplash Acknowledge their ability to turn routine activities into something enjoyable, or how their presence makes boring tasks feel less tedious. Recognition of their everyday impact can be incredibly touching. Point out how grocery shopping becomes fun with them, how their commentary makes bad movies entertaining, or how their company makes long drives feel short. These observations show you appreciate their daily presence.
8. Create something personal for them.
Source: Unsplash Whether it’s a playlist, photo album, piece of art, or even a simple list of reasons why they’re important, creating something specifically for them shows thoughtfulness and effort that generic gifts can’t match. Base your creation on things you know about their interests, memories you share, or qualities you appreciate about them. The personalisation matters more than the artistic quality or expense involved.
9. Tell them what you hope for their future.
Source: Unsplash Expressing genuine hopes and dreams for someone’s happiness and success shows you think about their wellbeing beyond your relationship with them. That sort of selfless care can be deeply moving. Share your wishes for their career, relationships, personal growth, or whatever matters most to them. It shows you care about their individual journey, not just what they provide for you.
10. Acknowledge their impact on other people you both know.
Source: Unsplash Mentioning how they affect mutual friends, family members, or colleagues shows you notice their broader positive influence. This perspective demonstrates that their value extends beyond just your personal relationship. Point out how they make your family feel welcome, how colleagues light up around them, or how friends always seem happier after spending time with them.
11. Express gratitude for their consistency.
Source: Unsplash Reliability might seem boring, but it’s actually one of the most valuable qualities in any relationship. Acknowledging someone’s steadiness and dependability shows you don’t take their consistent presence for granted. Thank them for always being reachable when you need them, for keeping promises, for showing up when they say they will, or for being the same person regardless of their mood or circumstances.
12. Share how they’ve influenced your other relationships.
Tell them about times you’ve used their advice, adopted their approach to handling conflicts, or found yourself thinking “what would they do?” in difficult situations with other people. Explain how watching them interact with people has taught you to be more patient, understanding, or thoughtful in your own relationships. It shows their positive influence extends throughout your life.
13. Mention the comfort their presence provides.
Some people have a naturally calming or reassuring presence that makes everything feel more manageable. Acknowledging this quality shows you value their stabilising influence on your emotional state. Describe how being around them reduces your stress, makes you feel safer, or helps you relax in ways that other people can’t. The recognition of their calming effect can be incredibly meaningful.
14. Tell them about times you’ve bragged about them.
Sharing how you’ve spoken positively about them to other people shows pride in your connection and demonstrates that your appreciation extends beyond private thoughts to public recognition. Mention conversations where you’ve told colleagues about their achievements, shared funny stories about them with friends, or defended them when they weren’t around to defend themselves.
15. Point out their unique perspective on life.
Everyone sees the world differently, and acknowledging someone’s particular viewpoint shows you value their individual way of thinking. Appreciation like that celebrates their mental and emotional uniqueness. Describe how their outlook has opened your mind to new possibilities, helped you see situations from different angles, or brought fresh perspective to old problems you’d been stuck on.
16. Acknowledge their growth and changes.
Recognising someone’s personal development over time shows you’ve been paying attention to their journey and celebrating their progress. Appreciation like that validates their efforts to improve themselves. Point out positive changes you’ve witnessed in their confidence, skills, relationships, or approach to challenges. This shows you see them as a dynamic person, not a static character.
17. Thank them for accepting you as you are.
Being loved and accepted despite your flaws is one of life’s greatest gifts. Explicitly thanking someone for loving you through your difficult moments or accepting your quirks can be deeply touching. Acknowledge how they’ve made you feel accepted during times when you didn’t like yourself very much, or how they’ve never tried to change fundamental parts of your personality.
18. Share how they inspire you to be better.
Telling someone they motivate you to improve shows they bring out your best qualities. Appreciation like this makes them feel like a positive force in your life rather than just a recipient of your affection. Explain how their example has encouraged you to work harder, be kinder, take better care of yourself, or pursue goals you might have abandoned without their influence.
19. Tell them what you’d miss most if they weren’t around.
This approach helps someone understand their specific value in your life by imagining their absence. It’s a way of expressing appreciation that highlights irreplaceable qualities. Be specific about what would be different without them, whether it’s their particular sense of humour, their way of solving problems, their cooking, their listening skills, or their unique perspective on your shared experiences.
20. Express appreciation for their investment in your relationship.
Acknowledge the time, energy, and care they put into maintaining your connection. It shows you don’t take their efforts for granted and understand that relationships require mutual work. Thank them for remembering important dates, checking in during busy periods, making time for you despite their schedule, or continuing to share their thoughts and feelings even when life gets complicated.
