It’s hard to be happy for someone else who’s doing well when you feel insecure about your own life.
While there’s no cap on how many people can achieve their goals in life, people whose self-confidence is in the toilet don’t see that. Instead, they say things that undermine other people’s hard work in an (often futile) attempt to boost their own ego. If you want to know if you’re dealing with someone like this, keep a listen out for these phrases.
1. “They just got lucky.”
This is a classic deflecting tactic. Instead of acknowledging the hard work, talent, or dedication that went into someone’s success, the threatened person attributes it to pure luck. It’s a way to diminish the achievement and make it seem less significant. After all, if it was just luck, anyone could have done it, right?
2. “It must be nice to have everything handed to you.”
Another way to minimise someone’s success is to suggest that they didn’t earn it. This implies that the person is privileged or has connections that gave them an unfair advantage. It’s a way to shift the focus away from their own feelings of inadequacy and onto the perceived “ease” of the other person’s journey.
3. “They’re not that great, I could do that too if I wanted to.”
This is a defensive statement rooted in envy. The threatened person might downplay the other person’s skills or talent in order to protect their own ego. They might convince themselves that they’re just as capable, but they simply haven’t had the same opportunities or haven’t put in the effort.
4. “I’m happy for them, but…”
This seemingly supportive statement is often followed by a “but” that undermines the initial sentiment. The threatened person might add a qualifier like, “…but I’m not sure how long it will last,” or “…but I wonder if they’re really happy.” This allows them to express their doubts and anxieties while maintaining a facade of politeness.
5. “Well, they’re certainly not as successful as [insert name].”
This is a way to diminish someone’s accomplishments by comparing them to someone else who has achieved even more. The threatened person might try to find a way to make the other person’s success seem less impressive by pointing out that someone else is doing better. This can be a way to avoid confronting their own feelings of inadequacy.
6. “They’re so full of themselves.”
This is a common way to criticise someone for being proud of their accomplishments. The threatened person might view the other person’s confidence as arrogance or boastfulness. This can be a way to mask their own envy and resentment towards the other person’s success.
7. “I wonder what they had to do to get that.”
This insinuates that the person achieved their success through unethical or immoral means. It’s a way to cast doubt on their character and integrity. This can be a particularly hurtful accusation, especially if it’s unfounded.
8. “They’re just trying to show off.”
Sharing your achievements can be a way to express pride and joy, but a threatened person might see it as a deliberate attempt to flaunt their success. This interpretation can be fuelled by insecurity and a fear of being left behind or outshone.
9. “They’re just lucky to be in the right place at the right time.”
This dismisses the other person’s effort and preparation, implying that their success was merely a fluke of circumstance. It’s a way to avoid acknowledging that perhaps the other person worked hard or made smart choices that led to their success.
10. “I bet they stepped on a lot of people to get there.”
This cynical statement suggests that the person achieved their success through unethical or ruthless means. It’s a way to tarnish their reputation and make them seem less deserving of their accomplishments. It also serves as a convenient excuse for the threatened person’s own lack of success.
11. “I’m not surprised they’re successful, they’ve always been ambitious.”
It’s meant to be a neutral observation, but it can be a subtle dig at the other person’s character. It implies that their ambition is excessive or unseemly, and that their success is more a result of their relentless pursuit of status rather than genuine talent or hard work.
12. “They must have a lot of help behind the scenes.”
This suggests that the person’s success is not entirely their own, but rather the result of support from other people. It diminishes their individual achievements and attributes their success to external factors. This can be a way for the threatened person to feel better about their own lack of support or resources.
13. “I just don’t see what all the fuss is about.”
Source: Unsplash This dismissive remark downplays the significance of the other person’s accomplishments. It suggests that their success is not worthy of praise or recognition. This can be a way for the threatened person to cope with their own feelings of envy or inadequacy.
14. “They’re probably miserable, despite their success.”
This assumes that success doesn’t necessarily lead to happiness or fulfilment. It’s a way for the threatened person to console themselves by believing that the other person’s life is not as perfect as it seems. It can also be a way to justify their own lack of ambition or drive.
15. “They’ll never be able to top that.”
This prediction of future failure is a way to destroy the other person’s current success. It implies that they’ve reached their peak and have nowhere to go but down. This can be a way for the threatened person to reassure themselves that the other person’s success is fleeting and ultimately insignificant.
16. “I’m glad they’re successful, but it doesn’t change my opinion of them.”
This passive-aggressive BS implies that the person’s success doesn’t make them any better or more likeable. It’s a way to hold on to negative feelings or judgments about the person, even in the face of their achievements. This can be a sign of deep-seated resentment or a refusal to acknowledge the person’s growth and development.
17. “I wonder what kind of sacrifices they had to make to achieve that.”
This suggests that the person’s success came at a high cost, perhaps at the expense of their personal relationships, health, or happiness. It’s a way to minimise the appeal of success and create a sense of doubt or caution in other people. This can be a defence mechanism to protect the threatened person from feeling like they’re missing out or falling behind.
