It’s not always the big mistakes that make people lose respect for you in life.
In fact, it’s usually it’s the small, almost invisible habits that put a dent in your reputation. These are the things you do without thinking: the nervous laugh after you speak, the constant apologising, the way you downplay your own ideas. They seem harmless, but they subtly tell people not to take you too seriously.
What’s tricky is that most of these habits come from good intentions. You want to be polite, agreeable, easy to work with, but in trying to keep the peace, you can end up undermining yourself. After all, how you carry yourself often says more than what you actually say. Once you start spotting these subtle patterns, it’s a lot easier to drop the ones that make you look unsure, and start being heard the way you mean to be.
1. You over-explain everything.
It’s natural to want people to understand your point, but constantly justifying yourself can make you sound unsure. Overexplaining sends the message that you need permission to have an opinion. Say what you mean once, clearly and calmly, then stop. Confidence often shows up in what you don’t say. If you’ve explained yourself fairly, let the silence do the heavy lifting instead of filling it.
2. You apologise too much.
Saying sorry for things that don’t need an apology makes you sound smaller than you are. It gives people the impression that you’re unsure or easily overpowered. Save your apologies for when they really matter. Swap “sorry for being late” for “thanks for waiting.” You’ll still sound polite but far more self-assured, which earns respect from the people around you.
3. You laugh after every sentence.
Laughing constantly, even when nothing’s funny, can make it seem like you’re nervous or trying too hard. It softens your words so much that people stop hearing the substance behind them. It helps to pause instead. Let your words stand on their own. A genuine laugh lands better when it’s natural rather than used as a filler to ease tension.
4. You trail off mid-sentence.
When you start speaking with confidence but then let your voice fade, it tells people you doubt your own thoughts. They might assume your ideas aren’t fully formed or worth listening to. Finish what you say with a clear full stop. You don’t need to sound forceful, just certain. A steady tone from start to finish conveys a laid-back sense of confidence and earns attention.
5. You use too many filler words.
Everyone uses words like “um” and “like,” but when they dominate your sentences, they water down your point. It makes you sound hesitant, even when your ideas are strong. Slow down instead of filling space. Silence can be powerful if you let it. It shows that you’re thinking, not fumbling, and gives people time to absorb what you’ve said.
6. You make too much nervous small talk.
Trying too hard to be friendly can backfire when it comes off as anxious chatter. Filling every silence can make people tune out or view you as unsure of your place. It’s okay to let quiet moments happen. Listen more than you speak at first. People often take those who choose their words carefully more seriously.
7. You struggle to hold eye contact.
Looking away too much when you talk can make you seem uncertain or disengaged. You shouldn’t be staring creepily, but making eye contact shows presence and respect. If it feels uncomfortable, practise looking between someone’s eyes or at their nose bridge. It feels natural, but still gives the sense that you’re genuinely engaged and confident.
8. You downplay your achievements.
Brushing off compliments or minimising what you’ve done can make people believe you don’t see value in yourself. It teaches people to do the same. Instead, accept praise with a simple “thank you.: You don’t need to add, “It was nothing.” Confidence doesn’t require bragging, just the ability to acknowledge what you’ve earned.
9. You let people interrupt you.
If you regularly let everyone talk over you without finishing your sentence, it subtly tells the room that your voice can be dismissed. As time goes on, it becomes a habit other people stop noticing. When someone cuts in, wait for them to pause and calmly pick up where you left off. Holding your space shows you believe your words deserve to be heard.
10. You change your tone around certain people.
If your voice or attitude noticeably changes when you talk to different people, it can look like you’re unsure of yourself. Adapting slightly is fine, but overdoing it feels inauthentic. Try keeping the same tone and rhythm, no matter who’s in the room. People respect consistency more than performance. Being steady makes people feel you’re grounded.
11. You use uncertain language.
Phrases like “I think,” “maybe,” or “kind of” might sound polite, but overusing them weakens your point. It can make people assume you’re not confident in your ideas. Swap soft words for firm ones. Instead of “I think we could try,” say “Let’s try this.” You’ll sound assertive without being pushy, which earns credibility fast.
12. You overreact to being corrected.
Getting defensive when someone points out an error can make you look fragile. People respect those who can take feedback with calm curiosity rather than panic or embarrassment. When someone corrects you, take a breath, and thank them for flagging it. You don’t lose face by admitting you missed something. Really, you gain trust by handling it with grace.
13. You let your posture slump.
How you hold yourself says a lot before you even open your mouth. Slouching or folding into yourself can send the message that you’re unsure or disconnected. Try grounding both feet on the floor, rolling your shoulders back, and relaxing your arms. You’ll not only look more composed but feel more confident as well.
14. You talk too fast.
Speaking quickly can make your words blur and leave people struggling to follow. It can also make you seem anxious or eager to rush past your own points. Slow your pace a bit and add small breaks to catch your breath. It draws people in and helps your message land clearly. Calm speakers are often seen as more capable and credible.
