Respect isn’t something you can demand; it’s something people decide to give you based on how you carry yourself.
And while everyone slips up occasionally, certain habits definitely impact how people see you, and not in a good way. It’s not always big mistakes that do the damage; it’s the small, consistent things that make people stop taking you seriously. If you’ve ever wondered why your opinions don’t go over well, or why people seem to overlook you, these behaviours might be the reason. They’re the kind of things that cost you respect without you even realising it.
You change your opinions based on who’s in the room.
You say one thing to one person and something completely different to another, adjusting your views to match whoever you’re talking to. You think it makes you agreeable, but really it just makes you look like you don’t stand for anything.
People notice when you do this. They stop trusting anything you say because they know your opinions are just whatever keeps you popular in that moment, and nobody respects someone who’s that shapeless.
You overpromise and underdeliver constantly.
You say you’ll do something, sound confident about it, then either don’t do it or do a half-hearted version of it. You keep making commitments you can’t keep, and every time you do, you’re teaching people not to count on you.
That pattern destroys your credibility faster than anything. When your word means nothing because you’ve broken it too many times, people stop giving you opportunities and start working around you instead of with you.
You gossip about everyone behind their backs.
You talk about people when they’re not there, sharing their business, picking them apart, bonding with other people over someone else’s flaws. It feels like connection in the moment, but what you’re actually doing is showing everyone you can’t be trusted.
People who gossip with you will gossip about you, and everyone knows that. When you’re the person who talks about everyone, people assume you’re doing the same about them, so they keep their distance and never let you in properly.
You make excuses for everything.
Nothing’s ever your fault. There’s always a reason why things didn’t work out, why you couldn’t follow through, why circumstances prevented you from doing what you said you would. You’ve got an explanation for everything except why people should believe you next time.
That constant excuse-making makes you look weak. People respect those who own their mistakes and move forward, not those who spend all their energy explaining why nothing’s their responsibility and why they’re always the victim of bad luck.
You’re rude to service staff.
You’re lovely to people who can do something for you, but short or dismissive with waiters, shop assistants, cleaners, anyone you see as beneath you. You think it doesn’t matter because they’re strangers, but it shows exactly who you are.
How you treat people who can’t benefit you tells everyone what you’re really like. When people see you being rude to service staff, they know you’re only nice when there’s something in it for you, and that’s not someone worth respecting.
You interrupt and talk over people all the time.
You can’t let anyone finish a sentence. You’re already jumping in with your point, your story, your opinion before they’ve even got halfway through their thought. You think you’re contributing, but really you’re just showing you don’t value what anyone else has to say.
That makes conversations feel like competitions instead of exchanges. People stop bothering to talk to you properly because they know you’re not actually listening, you’re just waiting for your turn, and nobody respects someone who only cares about their own voice.
You take credit for other people’s work.
Something goes well, and you make sure everyone knows your part in it, even if you barely contributed. You let people assume you did more than you did, or you straight up claim ideas that weren’t yours, thinking no one will notice.
People always notice. The actual person who did the work knows, and so does everyone else eventually, and when they do you’re marked as someone who steals credit. Nobody respects that, and nobody wants to work with someone who’ll throw them under the bus.
You can’t admit when you’re wrong.
You’ll twist yourself into knots trying to avoid saying you made a mistake. You argue, deflect, move the goalposts, anything to avoid just admitting you got something wrong. You think it makes you look strong, but it makes you look insecure.
That stubbornness is exhausting for everyone around you. People respect those who can say “I was wrong” and move on, not those who’d rather damage relationships than admit they’re not perfect. Your inability to be wrong makes you impossible to respect.
You’re always the victim in every story.
Every story you tell positions you as the wronged party. Things happen to you, people do things to you, life’s unfair to you specifically. You never have agency in your own narrative, just an endless string of ways the world’s conspired against you.
That victim mentality is draining. People stop sympathising and start avoiding you because being around someone who takes no responsibility for their life is exhausting, and there’s nothing to respect in someone who won’t own their part in anything.
You’re two-faced to get ahead.
You’re friendly to someone’s face, then undermine them behind their back. You play both sides, tell people what they want to hear, then do whatever benefits you regardless of what you said. You think you’re being strategic, but you’re just showing you’re untrustworthy.
That duplicity catches up with you eventually. People compare notes, and when they realise you’ve been playing different versions of yourself to different people, you lose credibility with everyone at once. Nobody respects someone they can’t trust to be consistent.
You name-drop and brag constantly.
Every conversation becomes about who you know, what you’ve done, how impressive your life is. You can’t let a moment pass without making sure everyone knows how important or successful or connected you are, and it’s transparent and tedious.
That constant self-promotion has the opposite effect you want. Instead of being impressed, people see someone so insecure they need constant validation, and there’s nothing respectable about someone who can’t let their actual worth speak for itself without a running commentary.
You only reach out when you need something.
Source: Unsplash You disappear until you need a favour, then suddenly you’re friendly and interested. You’re nowhere to be found when things are fine, but the second you want something, there you are acting as if you’ve been mates all along.
That transactional approach to relationships is obvious to everyone. People aren’t stupid, they can tell when they’re being used, and once they clock that you only show up when you want something, you lose any respect they had for you.
You refuse to take responsibility for your impact on other people.
You hurt someone and your response is “that’s not what I meant” or “you’re too sensitive” instead of just apologising. You prioritise your intent over their experience, making it their problem for feeling hurt rather than your problem for causing it.
That refusal to own your impact on people shows a lack of emotional maturity that kills respect. When you can’t acknowledge that your actions affect other people, regardless of your intentions, you’re showing you care more about being right than being decent, and nobody respects that.
