Some people turn receiving compliments into an Olympic sport of awkwardness.
They’ll twist themselves into pretzels to avoid accepting anything nice said about them, creating uncomfortable situations for everyone involved while missing out on genuine moments of connection and recognition. All it would take is a quick “thank you,” but if you do these things, you’re making compliments way more complicated than they need to be (not to mention more annoying for the person trying to give you one).
1. You immediately deflect with self-deprecating humour.
When someone says you look nice, you instantly fire back with something like, “What, this old thing? I look like I got dressed in the dark!” You can’t let a compliment sit for even two seconds without undercutting it with a joke about your flaws.
This deflection tells the compliment-giver that their opinion doesn’t matter and that you know better than they do about your own worth. You’re essentially arguing with someone who’s trying to be nice to you, which makes them less likely to bother next time.
2. You turn every compliment into a credit redirect.
Someone praises your presentation, and you immediately say it was all your team’s work, your boss’s idea, or pure luck. You act like you had nothing to do with whatever they’re complimenting, even when you clearly did most of the work.
While giving credit where it’s due is admirable, constantly refusing to take any responsibility for your successes makes you seem either dishonest or completely lacking in self-awareness. People stop complimenting you because you make it weird every single time.
3. You respond with an immediate counter-compliment.
The second someone says something nice about you, you panic and throw a compliment back at them like you’re playing hot potato. You can’t just say thank you and let the moment be about receiving something positive.
This knee-jerk response makes the interaction feel transactional rather than genuine. The other person ends up feeling like you weren’t really listening to what they said because you were too busy formulating your return compliment.
4. You list all the reasons they’re wrong.
When someone compliments your cooking, you launch into a detailed explanation of everything that went wrong with the recipe. You provide a comprehensive critique of your own work, as if the compliment-giver clearly missed all the obvious flaws.
You’re essentially telling someone that their taste, judgement, and opinion are incorrect. This doesn’t make you seem humble. Instead, it makes you seem argumentative and exhausting to be around because you can’t accept that other people might genuinely appreciate your efforts.
5. You get suspicious about their motives.
Instead of taking the compliment at face value, you immediately start wondering what they want from you. You assume they’re buttering you up for a favour, trying to manipulate you, or being sarcastic in a way you can’t detect.
Such a paranoid response reveals more about your own mindset than theirs. When you can’t believe someone might genuinely think well of you without an ulterior motive, you’re projecting your own trust issues onto innocent interactions.
6. You minimise the accomplishment they’re praising.
Someone congratulates you on your promotion, and you immediately explain that it wasn’t that big a deal, lots of people were eligible, or the company just needed to fill the position. You shrink every achievement down to nothing.
Understandably, it’s pretty frustrating for people who care about you because they want to celebrate your wins, but you won’t let them. You’re robbing both yourself and other people of the joy that comes from acknowledging success and progress.
7. You change the subject as quickly as possible.
The moment someone starts saying something nice, you immediately pivot to talking about the weather, asking about their weekend, or bringing up literally anything else. You treat compliments like awkward silences that need to be filled immediately.
Abruptly changing the subject like that makes it obvious that you’re uncomfortable, which makes the other person feel awkward for trying to be nice. They learn that complimenting you creates weird social moments, so they stop doing it.
8. You explain in detail how you could have done better.
When someone praises your work, you launch into a detailed analysis of all the ways it could have been improved. You turn their compliment into a self-critique session where you point out every perceived shortcoming.
Needless to say, this is exhausting for the compliment-giver because they were trying to highlight something positive, but you’ve turned the conversation into a problem-solving session about your inadequacies. They end up feeling like they said the wrong thing.
9. You act like they’re lying or exaggerating.
You respond to compliments with things like “You’re just being nice” or “You don’t really mean that.” You refuse to believe that anyone could genuinely think positively about you or your work without some sort of deception involved.
It’s pretty insulting to the person giving the compliment because you’re essentially calling them a liar. You’re saying their judgement is so poor or their honesty so questionable that their positive opinion can’t be trusted.
10. You immediately bring up your failures and mistakes.
Someone compliments your parenting, and you instantly start listing all the ways you’ve screwed up as a parent recently. You can’t let any positive observation exist without balancing it with negative self-assessment.
It’s a pattern that makes conversations with you feel heavy and draining because every positive moment gets immediately weighted down with self-criticism. People start avoiding giving you compliments because they know it will lead to a therapy session.
11. You get visibly uncomfortable and awkward.
Your body language screams discomfort; you fidget, look away, cross your arms, or physically back away when someone says something nice. You make it so obvious that compliments distress you that people feel bad for even trying.
This physical reaction makes people feel like they’ve done something wrong by acknowledging your good qualities or achievements. They start walking on eggshells around you to avoid creating these uncomfortable moments.
12. You turn it into a joke about the compliment-giver.
When someone says you’re smart, you respond with something like, “You need to get your eyes checked” or “You must be having a really bad day if I seem impressive.” You make the compliment about their poor judgement rather than your good qualities.
Acting like that insults both of you. It dismisses your own worth, while suggesting the other person is too stupid or desperate to have valid opinions. It’s a double insult disguised as self-deprecating humour.
13. You demand specific evidence or justification.
Instead of just accepting the compliment, you interrogate the person about exactly what they mean, what specific examples they can provide, or how they came to that conclusion. You turn a nice moment into a cross-examination.
Taking a bizarrely legalistic approach to compliments makes people feel like they need to prepare a case before saying anything positive to you. They start avoiding compliments altogether because they don’t want to be put on trial for being nice.
14. You immediately compare yourself unfavourably to other people.
Someone compliments your artwork, and you immediately respond with how much better other artists are, how you’re nowhere near professional level, or how your work doesn’t compare to what real artists create.
Responding that way dismisses both your own efforts and the compliment-giver’s ability to appreciate art. You’re essentially teaching people that complimenting you will result in a lecture about your inferiority complex, which makes them stop trying to be encouraging.
