Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and consideration — without those three qualities, you’ve got no chance.
And while everyone has different deal-breakers or things they will or won’t accept, it’s impossible to have a happy, fulfilling connection with anyone who thinks doing these things is appropriate. If you’ve been on the receiving end of any of these behaviours, it’s time to get out!
1. They constantly criticise your appearance and choices.
A partner who’s always finding fault with how you look or the decisions you make is bad news. Whether it’s your haircut, outfit, or career path, their constant nitpicking chips away at your self-esteem. Healthy relationships involve support and acceptance, not a never-ending stream of criticism.
2. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions.
Ever dealt with someone who’s never wrong? It’s exhausting. These people always have an excuse or someone else to blame. They might say things like, “You made me do it” or “It’s not my fault.” Their inability to own up to their mistakes makes it impossible to resolve conflicts or grow together.
3. They keep score in the relationship.
Relationships aren’t a game of tennis, but some people treat them that way. They remember every little thing they’ve done for you and expect payback. “I did the dishes last time, so you owe me.” Their tit-for-tat mentality creates resentment and turns love into a transaction.
4. They dismiss your feelings as overreactions.
When you express hurt or disappointment, they brush it off with a casual “You’re being too sensitive” or “It’s not a big deal.” Their incessant gaslighting makes you question your own emotions and judgement. A caring partner listens to your feelings, even if they don’t fully understand them.
5. They use silent treatment as punishment.
Giving someone the cold shoulder might seem like a childish move, but it’s actually a form of emotional abuse. Instead of communicating openly about issues, they shut down completely. This leaves you feeling anxious, confused, and walking on eggshells to avoid triggering another silent episode.
6. They invade your privacy without remorse.
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, but some people can’t resist snooping. They might go through your phone, read your emails, or check your social media messages without permission. When confronted, they justify their actions as “just making sure” instead of acknowledging the breach of trust.
7. They make you feel guilty for spending time apart.
Everyone needs some me-time, but these people make you feel awful for it. They might sulk, make passive-aggressive comments, or constantly check up on you when you’re out with friends. Their controlling behaviour stems from insecurity and can leave you feeling suffocated in the relationship.
8. They never apologise sincerely.
When they do something wrong, their apologies are empty at best. You might hear “I’m sorry you feel that way” instead of a genuine “I’m sorry for what I did.” These non-apologies shift the blame onto you and show a lack of real remorse or understanding of how their actions affect other people.
9. They belittle your achievements and dreams.
Got a promotion? Started a new hobby? Instead of celebrating with you, they downplay your success or mock your aspirations. Sure, it’s usually down to their own insecurities, but it can seriously dampen your enthusiasm and self-confidence over time.
10. They use your insecurities against you.
In a heated moment, they might bring up something you’ve shared in confidence, using it as ammunition. Having your trust betrayed by your partner is a low blow that can leave deep emotional scars. A caring partner should support you through your insecurities, not exploit them.
11. They refuse to compromise on anything.
Relationships require give and take, but these people always want things their way. Whether it’s deciding where to eat or making major life decisions, they bulldoze over your preferences. Their stubborn attitude shows a lack of respect for your needs and desires.
12. They make you feel guilty for setting boundaries.
Healthy boundaries are crucial, but some people act like they’re a personal attack. When you try to establish limits, they might accuse you of being selfish or not loving them enough. By doing this, they’re trying to keep you under their control.
13. They never show genuine interest in your life.
When you talk about your day or share something important to you, their eyes glaze over. They might change the subject or give half-hearted responses. Their complete and utter lack of curiosity about your world can make you feel unseen and unimportant in the relationship.
14. They constantly compare you to other people.
Whether it’s an ex, a friend, or a celebrity, they always seem to find someone who’s doing better than you. These comparisons, often disguised as “helpful suggestions,” can knock your self-esteem and create a sense of never being good enough.
15. They disrespect your time and commitments.
These people are chronically late, cancel plans at the last minute, or expect you to drop everything for them. Their behaviour shows a lack of consideration for your schedule and priorities. It sends the message that their time is more valuable than yours.
16. They refuse to discuss the future of the relationship.
Whenever you try to talk about where things are heading, they change the subject or become defensive. Having your partner repeatedly avoid you can leave you feeling uncertain and insecure about your place in their life. A committed partner should be willing to have open conversations about the future.
17. They make unilateral decisions that affect both of you.
From big things like moving house to smaller issues like changing weekend plans, they make choices without consulting you. It shows a serious lack of respect for your input and can make you feel like a passenger in your own life.
18. They use manipulation tactics to get their way.
Whether it’s guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, or playing the victim, these people have a toolbox of manipulative techniques. They might threaten to leave if you don’t comply or act helpless to make you feel responsible for their happiness. Either way, it creates an unhealthy power dynamic in the relationship.
19. They dismiss your concerns about the relationship.
Source: Unsplash When you try to address issues in the relationship, they brush them off as unimportant or accuse you of creating drama. Their dismissive attitude makes it impossible to work through problems together and can leave you feeling unheard and frustrated.
20. They expect you to read their mind.
Instead of communicating their needs clearly, they expect you to just know what they want. When you inevitably fall short, they become upset or resentful. Having such an unrealistic expectation sets the relationship up for constant disappointment and misunderstandings.
