We all know someone who seems charming and friendly on the surface, but something just feels off.
Their words and actions don’t quite align, and a hint of insincerity lingers in the air. These folks might be masters of disguise, but even they can’t always hide their true colours. Sometimes, subtle phrases slip out, revealing the cracks in their facade. Here are some obvious signs that someone might not be as nice as they seem.
1. “I’m not trying to brag, but…”
Source: Unsplash This often precedes a humblebrag, a seemingly modest statement that’s actually designed to showcase their achievements or superiority. They might say, “I’m not trying to brag, but I got another promotion at work.” This phrase is a thinly veiled attempt to fish for compliments while appearing self-deprecating.
2. “I don’t mean to be rude, but…”
This often serves as a disclaimer before delivering a criticism or insult. They might say, “I don’t mean to be rude, but your presentation was a bit boring.” This phrase attempts to soften the blow of their words, but it doesn’t negate the fact that they’re being insensitive and hurtful.
3. “With all due respect…”
This phrase is a way to express disagreement while maintaining a facade of politeness. They might say, “With all due respect, I think your idea is completely unrealistic.” This phrase can be a subtle way of undermining someone’s authority or expertise.
4. “I’m just concerned about you.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase can be used genuinely to express care and concern, but it can also be a manipulative tactic to control someone’s behaviour. They might say, “I’m just concerned about you. I don’t think you should be hanging out with those people.” This phrase can be used to guilt-trip someone into conforming to their expectations.
5. “I’m just trying to be helpful.”
Source: Unsplash This is one people use to justify unsolicited advice or criticism. They might offer unsolicited opinions on your appearance, relationships, or career choices, all under the guise of wanting to help you. However, their “help” often feels more like meddling and judgment.
6. “I’m not one to gossip, but…”
Source: Unsplash This is usually followed by a juicy piece of gossip or a rumour. They might say, “I’m not one to gossip, but I heard that they’re getting a divorce.” This phrase is a way of indulging in gossip while maintaining a pretence of discretion.
7. “I’m just saying…”
Source: Unsplash This is usually used to express an opinion or observation that’s likely to be controversial or hurtful. They might say, “I’m just saying, you seem to have gained some weight.” This phrase is a way of distancing themselves from the potential negative impact of their words.
8. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but…”
Source: Unsplash This phrase is a way to preface a statement that’s likely to be offensive or hurtful. They might say, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you’re being too sensitive.” This phrase is a way of trying to avoid responsibility for the negative impact of their words.
9. “I’m the type of person who…”
Source: Unsplash This phrase often precedes a statement that contradicts their actions. They might say, “I’m the type of person who always puts other people first,” but then consistently prioritise their own needs and desires. It’s a way of projecting an image of themselves that doesn’t align with their actual behaviour.
10. “I’m not perfect, but…”
Source: Unsplash This is often used to justify their mistakes or shortcomings. They might say, “I’m not perfect, but I’m trying my best.” While it’s true that no one is perfect, this phrase can be used as a way to avoid taking full responsibility for their actions and to deflect criticism.
11. “You know I love you, right?”
This is obviously a way to manipulate someone’s emotions and make them feel guilty. They might say it after being hurtful or insensitive, as a way to avoid accountability. It’s a tactic that relies on the other person’s affection to excuse their bad behaviour.
12. “I was just kidding!”
This is a classic way to backpedal after saying something hurtful or offensive. They might make a joke at your expense and then claim they were just kidding when you get upset. This is a way of dismissing your feelings and avoiding responsibility for their words.
13. “I’m just being brutally honest.”
This phrase is often used to justify harsh criticisms or insults. They might say, “I’m just being brutally honest, but I think your outfit is hideous.” This phrase is a way of masking their rudeness as honesty and avoiding responsibility for their hurtful words.
14. “I’m only saying this for your own good.”
This is a clear attempt to disguise unsolicited advice or criticism as concern. They might offer opinions on your personal life, career choices, or appearance, all under the pretence of wanting what’s best for you. However, their “advice” is often unwanted and can feel condescending.
15. “You’re overreacting.”
This phrase is often used to invalidate someone’s feelings and dismiss their concerns. They might say it when you express anger, sadness, or frustration, implying that your reaction is excessive or unwarranted. This is a way of avoiding accountability for their actions and making you question your own emotions.
