For years, it was parents nagging their children to put their phones down and come and join the rest of the family.
Now the tables seem to have turned, with plenty of grown-up sons and daughters finding themselves on the other side of that argument as their mums and dads spend hours glued to a screen. Older people are now among the fastest-growing groups on social media, and some have even been given the cheeky nickname “screenagers” for the way they scroll late into the night. It’s a funny reversal for families who once fought over the home computer, and it raises a few fair questions about how much time is too much, whatever your age.
Switching off used to be easy.
Anyone who grew up in the Nineties or early Noughties will probably remember how simple it was for parents to end a screen-time stand-off. A quick pull of the plug on the family computer or the dial-up connection was usually enough, followed by a few minutes of sulking and slammed doors before everyone moved on. Mobile phones back then could manage calls, texts and the odd game of Snake, so once the internet was off, you really were cut off from your friends until school the next day.
That kind of quick fix simply doesn’t exist any more. Smartphones carry the internet everywhere they go, which means there’s no single switch to flick, and nobody can confiscate a device from a retired adult who paid for it themselves. Families now have to rely on gentle hints and a bit of humour instead, which doesn’t always land with someone who spent decades setting the rules in the first place. Many older people also point out, quite fairly, that they’ve earned the right to spend their free time however they please after years of work and raising a family.
Younger adults are trying to log off.
Strangely enough, a lot of people in their twenties, thirties, and forties now daydream about ditching their smartphones altogether. Talk of digital detoxes, phone-free weekends, and swapping to an old-style handset has become fairly common among those who’ve grown tired of endless notifications and work emails pinging at all hours. Some put their phones in a drawer during meals or leave them in another room overnight, all in an effort to be more present with the people around them. Others have started setting daily limits on certain apps, after realising just how many hours vanish each week without them noticing.
Their parents, meanwhile, often seem to be heading in the opposite direction. It’s now quite normal for a dad to be caught checking the football results under the dinner table, or for a mum to break off mid-sentence because her banking app has sent an alert. Plenty of families will also recognise the experience of putting their own phone away for an hour, only to pick it up again and find dozens of unread messages in the family group chat, sometimes sent by relatives sitting in the very same room.
The scenes feel pretty familiar, to be honest.
Most of us could probably share a story or two about an older relative and their phone. Some grandparents have taken to asking AI chatbots for the most basic things, including the dates of family birthdays they’ve known for years, while others have become devoted to second-hand selling apps and spend whole afternoons haggling over used clothes and old ornaments. Getting wrapped up in a screen while looking after small children in a busy park is a habit that understandably worries their sons and daughters.
Public transport throws up its own funny moments too. Younger passengers usually stick headphones in and sit in silence, whereas some older travellers happily play videos, voice notes, or language lessons out loud for the whole carriage to enjoy. It’s not unusual to step off a train having picked up a few words of Spanish or Italian without meaning to, along with a fair amount of irritation at not being able to hear yourself think. Cafés and waiting rooms can be much the same, with a ringing tone or a loud video often catching everyone’s attention before the owner even notices.
Being online can be a lifeline.
Before anyone starts a war between the generations, there’s a lot to be said for older people getting stuck into the online world. The internet is a brilliant tool for looking things up, booking appointments, keeping in touch with grandchildren who live miles away and catching up on news, sport, and hobbies instantly. Refusing to learn any of it can leave people struggling with everyday tasks, especially now that so many banks, councils, and doctors’ surgeries expect us to do things through an app. Lots of retired people also spent their working lives using email and computers, so the idea that they’re all baffled by technology is well out of date.
For those who live alone or don’t get out as much as they used to, social media can also bring a welcome sense of company. Sharing a funny photo of a dog, chatting in a local community group or swapping messages with old friends may be the only conversation some people have on a quiet day. Anyone living with health problems or caring for a partner at home will know how much a phone can help them feel connected to the outside world when leaving the house isn’t easy.
There’s also a darker side of the feed, as many of us already know.
That said, not everything that pops up on a screen is harmless fun. A growing amount of fake content made by artificial intelligence is aimed squarely at older users, and it’s been given the unflattering name “boomer slop”. These are the too-good-to-be-true pictures and videos that look real at a glance, such as an impossibly cute animal or a made-up news clip, and they’re designed to rack up likes and shares from people who may not realise they’ve been tricked.
Apps tend to show people more of whatever keeps them scrolling, and that can lead lonely or worried users towards dodgy health cures, money scams and wild conspiracy theories. If a relative suddenly starts insisting a famous historical event never happened, or forwards a miracle remedy they’ve seen online, it may well be a sign the algorithm has been feeding them nonsense. Scammers know this audience well, which is why fake bank messages and phoney investment offers are so often aimed at older people. Being caught out can be embarrassing as well as costly, so some victims keep quiet rather than telling family, which only makes it harder to stop the same thing happening again.
Most are using it for ordinary things.
The good news is that plenty of older people aren’t falling down any rabbit holes at all. For many, a typical day online involves ordering the weekly food shop, doing a crossword or word puzzle, video calling the grandchildren and binge-watching old sci-fi or detective series they loved decades ago. None of that is much different from how younger generations use their devices, and much of it makes life a lot easier. Having the shopping delivered to the door, for example, can be a huge help for anyone who struggles to carry heavy bags or no longer drives.
There’s a certain irony in all of this for anyone who was told off as a teenager. Spending hours glued to a screen, never ringing home and blowing spare money on treats were once the things parents warned their kids against, and now many of those same parents are enjoying them with gusto. Most grown-up children are wise enough to keep that observation to themselves, though it’s hard not to smile about it now and again.
Keeping the peace at home is a fine balance.
If you’re worried about a parent who never looks up from their phone, a lecture probably won’t get you very far. Telling them they’re wasting their time is likely to be met with laughter, or a reminder of how many hours you spent on video games as a child. A softer approach tends to work better, such as suggesting phone-free meals for everyone, offering to set up headphones for train journeys or turning off some of the noisier notifications together.
It can also help to sit down with them and go over how to spot fakes and scams, including checking where a video came from, never clicking links in surprise texts, and calling the bank directly if a message feels off (just to name a few examples). Setting up family safety features and a shared contact for emergencies gives everyone a bit of peace of mind. And if you catch yourself nagging them to get off their phone at the dinner table, you may have to accept that you’ve finally become your parents.
