You can usually tell when someone’s really listening, rather than just waiting for their turn to chime in.
It’s not always about nodding or making eye contact. Sometimes, it’s the words they use that reveal how tuned in they are. Great listeners don’t just absorb what you’re saying—they reflect it back, ask thoughtful questions, and make you feel seen without trying to fix or hijack the moment. If someone regularly drops these phrases into conversation, chances are you’ve got someone special in your corner who genuinely gets it.
1. “That makes a lot of sense.”
This one might sound simple, but it’s quietly powerful. It tells the other person that their experience is valid and logical, even if it’s emotional or messy. Great listeners know it’s not about agreeing, it’s about helping you feel understood. It’s a soft way of saying, “I hear you, and I’m not judging.” Especially when someone’s venting or opening up about something vulnerable, hearing that their reaction is reasonable can be incredibly grounding.
2. “I can see why you’d feel that way.”
Empathy often comes down to showing you get where someone’s coming from—even if their situation is totally different from yours. This phrase is all about acknowledging their emotions without rushing to fix them. It tells the speaker, “Your feelings make sense to me,” which is a rare kind of comfort. It creates a space where people can keep talking without feeling like they have to defend how they feel.
3. “Tell me more about that.”
This one’s a classic listener move. It signals curiosity without intrusion and shows that someone is actually paying attention, not just nodding along while waiting to change the topic. It invites people to open up without pressure. Instead of jumping in with your own story, you’re saying, “You’ve got the floor, and I’m here for it.” That kind of presence is quietly powerful.
4. “That sounds really tough.”
Sometimes all someone needs is a bit of recognition. They don’t want a pep talk or advice—they just want to be seen. This phrase does that gently and directly. It’s not dramatic or over the top. It just acknowledges that what they’re carrying isn’t easy, and that kind of validation can make someone feel lighter, even in the middle of a storm.
5. “I hadn’t thought of it like that before.”
It takes humility to say this one, and great listeners are often humble people. They’re not afraid to admit when someone’s opened their eyes to a new perspective. When you hear this, it usually means the person is actively digesting what you’ve said—not just agreeing to be polite. It makes conversations feel collaborative rather than competitive.
6. “Do you want advice or just someone to hear you out?”
This is the gold standard of emotional intelligence. It shows someone is self-aware enough to know not everyone wants a solution right away, and considerate enough to ask before offering one. It respects the other person’s emotional space. Sometimes people just need to let it out, and being asked this question gives them the freedom to say, “Actually, I just need to vent.”
7. “I’m really glad you told me that.”
This one is especially meaningful when someone’s shared something hard or vulnerable. It lets them know you don’t see them differently for opening up—in fact, you value their honesty. It also reduces the risk of shame creeping in after the conversation ends. Saying this is a way of making someone feel emotionally safe, even after they’ve said something they were nervous to share.
8. “I’m listening.”
It’s simple, but it cuts through noise, especially when someone’s visibly upset or unsure if they’re being heard. Saying “I’m listening” anchors the moment and reminds the other person you’re present. It’s easy to assume people know we’re paying attention, but naming it helps. This little phrase builds trust and gives people permission to keep going without second-guessing themselves.
9. “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here.”
Sometimes there’s no perfect response, and that’s okay. A great listener knows when to stop searching for the right words and just offer quiet support instead. This one is honest and gentle. It tells the other person, “I might not have answers, but I’m not going anywhere.” Sometimes, that’s more comforting than any advice could be.
10. “That must’ve been overwhelming.”
When someone’s been through something intense, they don’t always have the words to describe it. Reflecting that back with a word like “overwhelming” gives their experience shape and empathy. It shows that you’re not just listening to facts—you’re tuning into the emotional weight of the story. That kind of attention can be deeply reassuring.
11. “I’m not judging you.”
Opening up can feel risky. People are often bracing for criticism or subtle judgement, even from people they trust. This phrase clears the air in a powerful way. It tells the speaker they don’t have to edit themselves or downplay what happened. Knowing someone is on your side, without conditions, makes space for real honesty.
12. “You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to.”
This is a real pressure-reliever. Sometimes people feel like they need to justify their feelings or choices, even when they’re still working them out themselves. Letting someone off that hook is a subtle act of care. It says, “I trust you enough not to need the full story.” That kind of freedom can make someone feel more heard, not less.
13. “That’s a really important point.”
When you highlight something someone said as meaningful, it shows you weren’t just hearing them—you were really listening. You caught the heart of what they were trying to say. It’s especially helpful in group settings, where quieter voices can get lost. Acknowledging someone’s insight gives their words weight and makes them feel valued in the conversation.
14. “It sounds like you’re feeling…”
This is the therapist-style phrase that great listeners often use without even thinking about it. It reflects back emotion in a way that shows you’re paying attention—not just to what was said, but how it was said. It also helps the other person understand their own feelings better. Sometimes naming an emotion helps bring clarity and calm. It’s not about being clinical—it’s about connection.
15. “Thanks for trusting me with that.”
When someone shares something personal, a good listener treats it like a gift—not a burden. This phrase shows appreciation, not just for the story, but for the courage it took to tell it. It changes the tone from “that was heavy” to “that was meaningful.” That gratitude helps reinforce the relationship, making the other person feel respected and emotionally safe.
16. “You don’t have to have it all figured out.”
Great listeners don’t rush people to tidy endings. They’re okay with confusion, contradictions, and questions that don’t have easy answers. This one gently gives people room to just be human. It reminds the speaker that it’s okay to be in progress. That they don’t need a polished narrative to be worthy of understanding. That they’re enough, even in the messy middle.
