If you want to wind up a millennial colleague, you don’t need to do anything drastic—just send an email that’s accidentally passive-aggressive or weirdly formal.
There are certain unspoken rules for digital communication that this generation lives by, and stumbling over them can turn a simple update into a source of genuine office anxiety. While it might seem like a bit of a minefield, understanding why certain phrases grate so much is the only way to keep the peace in a modern workspace. Before you hit send on that “friendly reminder,” make sure you check to see if your punctuation is doing more damage than your actual message.
“As per my last email…”
This one has achieved almost legendary status among millennials as the passive-aggressive phrase of choice in professional settings. Everyone knows what it actually means: you already told them this, they clearly didn’t read it, and you are not letting that go unacknowledged.
Etiquette experts consistently flag it as one of the most counterproductive ways to open a follow-up because it immediately puts the recipient on the defensive before they’ve even read the rest of the message. If something needs repeating, just repeat it without the editorial comment attached.
“Hope this email finds you well.”
It’s not that millennials are opposed to warmth. It’s that this particular phrase has been copy-pasted into so many emails by so many people who don’t mean it that it has stopped carrying any warmth at all. Etiquette experts describe it as filler that says that the sender didn’t put much thought into the opening, which immediately sets a tone.
A short, specific opener goes over a lot better every time, whether that’s referencing something recent, getting straight to the point, or simply skipping the pleasantry altogether.
“Going forward…”
This phrase tends to land as a soft reprimand dressed up in neutral language. It implies something has gone wrong, and you’d prefer it didn’t happen again, without being direct enough to actually have that conversation. Millennials, who generally prefer straight communication over corporate softening, find it frustrating precisely because of what it’s trying not to say.
If there’s a genuine issue to address, etiquette experts recommend addressing it plainly rather than wrapping it in language that everyone can see through anyway.
“Per our conversation…”
Similar energy to “as per my last email” but applied to spoken exchanges rather than written ones. It has a paper-trail feeling to it, as though the sender is documenting the conversation for future reference rather than simply following up. Etiquette coaches note that this kind of phrasing often creates unnecessary friction in working relationships because it reads as slightly legalistic, even when that wasn’t the intention. “Following up on what we discussed” or just summarising the key point directly tends to go down considerably better.
“Please advise.”
On its own, at the end of an email, with no further context, this phrase has a terse quality that millennials tend to read as impatient or demanding. It’s vague enough that the recipient isn’t entirely sure what’s being asked of them, and blunt enough that it doesn’t feel entirely friendly.
Etiquette experts suggest being specific about what you actually need: a decision, a date, a yes or no. A clear, direct question is easier to respond to and far less likely to irritate the person on the receiving end.
“Not sure if you saw my last email…”
This one is a follow-up staple that almost always lands worse than the sender intends. It’s designed to be gentle, but it reads as pointed. The implication is that the recipient either missed the email or saw it and chose not to reply, and neither interpretation is particularly comfortable to be on the receiving end of.
A clean, brief follow-up that simply restates the ask without commentary on whether the previous one was seen is both more professional and a lot less likely to put someone’s back up.
“Friendly reminder…”
Etiquette experts have flagged this phrase repeatedly as one that millennials find particularly grating, largely because the word “friendly” is doing a lot of work to mask what is really a nudge or a chase. The friendliness is performative in a way that most people can immediately detect, which tends to undercut the actual message.
If a reminder is necessary, sending one without framing it as something it isn’t tends to be received much better. Just say what you need and when you need it by.
“I’ll let you take it from here.”
This one sounds like a handover, but often reads as an abdication. Millennials in professional settings tend to find it frustrating when responsibility is passed along without adequate context, clarity about what “taking it from here” actually involves, or any indication that the sender is still available if questions come up.
Experts recommend being specific when delegating over email: what the task is, what a good outcome looks like, and who to go to with questions. Vague sign-offs invite confusion.
“Looping in [person] for visibility.”
Suddenly CCing someone into an email chain with this explanation tends to create a low-level anxiety in the recipient about why that person now has visibility and what that means. It’s often done with completely innocent intentions, but the effect is that it feels like oversight is being added to the conversation.
If someone needs to be included, etiquette experts suggest a brief explanation of why their involvement is genuinely useful rather than simply announcing that they’re now watching.
“Can you action this?”
Using “action” as a verb is one of those corporate-speak habits that has persisted despite widespread dislike. It’s imprecise, it’s jargon-heavy, and it doesn’t actually tell the recipient what you want them to do with whatever you’ve sent. Etiquette experts are straightforward on this one: say what you want the person to do. Reply, approve, forward, review, sign, schedule. Specific verbs are clearer, faster to act on, and considerably less likely to produce an eye-roll before the email is even fully read.
