There’s so much advice out there on how to create the “perfect” relationship, but it’s mostly all rubbish.
First of all, there’s no such thing as “perfect,” so striving for that is a waste of time and energy. Secondly, strong, healthy relationships aren’t built on rigid checklists. Sometimes, the things people say are “must-haves” aren’t necessary at all. You can easily do without these things in your relationship and be perfectly happy. In fact, you might be better off without them!
1. Having all the same interests
Sure, it’s great when you both love hiking or binge-watching the same shows, but it’s not essential for a strong relationship. Having separate hobbies keeps things interesting and gives you both room to grow as individuals. In fact, some healthy independence makes your connection stronger. Plus, you get the chance to introduce each other to new things.
2. Always agreeing on everything
Disagreements are inevitable, and they’re not a sign of a weak relationship. What matters is how you handle them. Healthy couples know how to respect each other’s viewpoints, even if they don’t always agree. A bit of difference can spark deeper conversations and help you learn from each other. After all, constant agreement sounds nice, but it’s not realistic — or very interesting.
3. Constant communication
Some say you need to talk non-stop to keep the spark alive, but quality matters more than quantity. It’s okay if you don’t text all day or spend hours on the phone. Healthy relationships are about meaningful communication, not constant chatter. Sometimes, a comfortable silence says more than words ever could. Trust that you don’t need to be in touch 24/7 to stay connected.
4. Being each other’s everything
Romantic movies love this idea, but putting all your emotional needs on one person is exhausting for both of you. Strong relationships thrive when you have other sources of support, like friends, family, or hobbies. You’re partners, not life rafts. Giving each other the space to have other connections makes your relationship healthier and more balanced.
5. A dramatic, whirlwind romance
Some people think passion only counts if it’s fiery and intense. But long-lasting relationships are often built on steady, calm love rather than whirlwind drama. Stability doesn’t mean your relationship is boring — it means you feel secure and trusted. Strong relationships don’t need constant ups and downs to feel alive. Sometimes, a peaceful, predictable love is the strongest kind.
6. Sharing the exact same future goals
It’s good to be on the same page about big things, but minor differences in plans are okay. People evolve, and so do their goals. The key is being willing to grow together and support each other’s dreams. Flexibility and understanding often matter more than having identical plans. Life is unpredictable, and being adaptable as a couple is far more valuable than rigidly aligned goals.
7. Perfect compatibility
The idea of “perfect compatibility” is more myth than reality. No two people fit together seamlessly in every way. What really matters is how you handle your differences. Compromise, respect, and communication are the tools that make any relationship work. A relationship’s strength lies in navigating challenges together, not in being perfectly alike.
8. Grand romantic gestures
Big, sweeping gestures are lovely, but they’re not a requirement for a strong relationship. Small, everyday acts of care — like making a cup of tea or remembering their favourite snack — matter more. These little moments build trust and show love in ways grand gestures can’t. It’s the quiet, consistent effort that really makes a relationship strong.
9. Never needing personal space
Some people think wanting time apart is a bad sign, but it’s actually healthy. Taking time for yourself helps you recharge and maintain your individuality. Whether it’s a solo walk, a night out with friends, or a weekend hobby, personal space benefits both of you. A strong relationship isn’t threatened by a little distance; it’s strengthened by it.
10. Always being in sync emotionally
Expecting to be on the same emotional wavelength 100% of the time is unrealistic. There will be times when one of you is up while the other is down. And that’s okay. What’s important is supporting each other through those ups and downs. You don’t have to feel the same way all the time to be a strong team.
11. Having a perfect physical relationship
Physical intimacy is important, but it doesn’t have to be flawless or constant. Every couple has their own rhythm and comfort levels. A strong relationship is about feeling safe, connected, and respected, not meeting some ideal standard. Open communication about needs and boundaries matters far more than perfection.
12. Being the same person you were at the beginning
People change, and so do relationships. Expecting each other to stay the same forever isn’t realistic or healthy. Growth is natural, and a strong relationship allows space for that. The key is growing in ways that support each other, not staying stuck in the past. Embrace the evolution — it keeps things interesting.
13. Knowing everything about each other
It’s nice to feel like you know your partner well, but expecting to know *everything* can lead to frustration. Everyone has layers, and that’s a good thing. A bit of mystery and the chance to keep discovering each other keeps the relationship dynamic. Respecting each other’s privacy and boundaries shows trust and maturity.
14. Never arguing
Arguments aren’t a sign of a doomed relationship. In fact, healthy disagreements can strengthen your bond. The key is to argue respectfully and productively, not destructively. Avoiding conflict altogether can lead to resentment and misunderstandings. Strong couples know how to resolve arguments and come out stronger on the other side.
15. Doing everything together
You don’t have to be joined at the hip to be in a strong relationship. In fact, doing everything together can become suffocating. Having your own activities and friends enriches your life and gives you more to share with each other. Strong relationships are about quality time, not constant togetherness. Independence is healthy, not a threat.
16. Following “relationship rules” to the letter
Every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple might not work for another. Trying to follow generic “rules” can add unnecessary pressure. Trust what works for you and your partner, even if it doesn’t fit the mould. The strongest relationships are built on mutual understanding and authenticity, not cookie-cutter advice.
