People always say love makes you do crazy things, but they usually mean the grand, cinematic gestures rather than the stuff that actually makes your toes curl with embarrassment.
Most of us like to think we’re above the more desperate or cringeworthy behaviours, but when you’re properly infatuated, common sense usually goes straight out the window. You find yourself doing things you’d absolutely slag your mates off for, all while telling yourself it’s perfectly normal. These are some of the embarrassing things most people do at some point in the name of attraction that they’d never admit to in polite company, and while we hopefully grow out of the worst of it, that desperate urge to be liked can still make you do some pretty bizarre stuff.
1. They change their appearance to impress someone.
Whether it’s suddenly deciding you’re a “hat person” or ditching your entire wardrobe for a style you think they’ll like, we’ve all tweaked our appearance for a crush. You might tell yourself you just fancied a change, but deep down, you’re hoping they’ll notice the new haircut or the jacket that cost half your month’s rent.
It’s a bit of a desperate move when you look back on it, especially if you end up dressed as someone you’re not just to get a second glance. You spend ages in front of the mirror wondering if they’ll prefer the “edgy” look or the “approachable” one, completely losing track of what you actually like in the process.
2. They stalk their crush’s social media profiles.
We’ve all been there, deep-diving into a crush’s Instagram from 2016 at 2 am and praying your thumb doesn’t accidentally double-tap a photo of their nan. You start with a quick check of their recent posts, and before you know it, you’ve pieced together their entire life story, including where they went on holiday three years ago and who their ex was.
It’s a bit like being an amateur detective, but without any of the professional dignity. You know way too much about their life before you’ve even had a proper conversation, which makes it even harder to act surprised when they mention things in person.
3. They pretend to like things they actually hate.
Suddenly, a boring documentary or a niche hobby becomes “absolutely fascinating” because the person you fancy is into it. You find yourself nodding along and doing frantic Google searches under the table just so you can contribute a semi-intelligent sentence to the conversation.
It’s a classic way to try to build common ground, but it’s a bit of a nightmare when you have to keep up the act for months on end. You end up sitting through hours of something mind-numbingly dull just because you don’t want to admit you’d rather be doing literally anything else.
4. They go out of their way to “accidentally” bump into someone.
Taking the long way home or hanging out in a specific coffee shop in the hope of “coincidentally” bumping into them is a move as old as time. You spend the whole time rehearsing your “Oh, what are you doing here?” face while scanning the room like a hawk.
These encounters are often orchestrated with the precision of a military operation, even though you try to make it look like you’ve just happened to be in the area. It’s a lot of effort for a two-minute chat that usually ends up being slightly awkward because you’re so worried about looking like a stalker.
5. They practise what they’re going to say before a date.
Before a big date or a planned meeting, many of us have stood in the bathroom, practising our witty anecdotes and smooth delivery. You want to come across as effortless and charming, but you usually end up sounding like you’re reading from a script that you’ve forgotten the middle of.
You try out different versions of “hello” and check your teeth 50 times, hoping that the preparation will stop you from saying something completely stupid. Of course, the second you see them, all that practice goes out the window, and you end up talking about the weather for 20 minutes instead.
6. They endure physical discomfort to look good.
From squeezing into shoes that are two sizes too small to sitting through a wax that makes you want to weep, the things we do for aesthetic appeal are often ridiculous. You’ll happily suffer through a freezing night without a coat because it “ruins the outfit” or wear something so tight you can’t actually breathe or eat a full meal.
It’s a bit of a weird trade-off, where you’re willing to be in total agony as long as you think you look good in their eyes. You spend the entire night dreaming of your pyjamas and a hot water bottle, but you’ll still insist you’re perfectly comfortable if they ask.
7. They cyber-stalk their ex’s new partner.
Source: Unsplash Curiosity is a powerful thing, and it often leads us down a rabbit hole of investigating who our ex is currently seeing. You want to know if they’re “better” than you, what they do for a living, and if they’ve got better hair, even though it always leaves you feeling a bit rubbish.
It’s a habit that most people are deeply ashamed of, yet we find it almost impossible to resist when we’ve got a spare ten minutes and a smartphone. You know it’s not healthy, and it won’t change anything, but you still find yourself comparing your life to theirs through a filtered screen.
8. They pretend to be busier than they actually are.
Source: Unsplash Playing hard to get is an age-old tactic that involves pretending your social calendar is packed when you’re actually just sitting at home in your pants. You might wait three hours to reply to a text just so you don’t seem “too keen,” even though you saw the message the second it arrived.
It’s an attempt to create a bit of mystery and make yourself seem like a high-value person with a lot going on. In reality, you’re just staring at your phone, waiting for the appropriate amount of time to pass so you can finally hit send.
9. They spend way too long crafting the perfect text message.
Agonising over every single word, emoji, and full stop in a message is a universal experience for anyone with a crush. You want to sound casual but interesting, funny but not try-hard, and it can take 40 minutes just to say “Hey, how’s it going?” You send screenshots to your mates for their approval, debating whether a winking face is too much or if a blue heart is too “friend-zone.” It’s an exhausting level of overthinking for a message that they’ll probably read in five seconds and reply to with a single word.
10. They make up elaborate stories to cover their tracks.
Source: Unsplash Whether it’s hiding a surprise or trying to make yourself sound more interesting than you are, little fibs can quickly spiral out of control. You might claim you’ve read a book you’ve never even opened or that you’re a “natural” at something you’ve never tried, and then you’re stuck maintaining that lie for the rest of the relationship.
These tales usually start as a way to impress or protect someone’s feelings, but they can become a proper weight to carry. You end up in a web of your own making, constantly worrying that you’ll get caught out on a detail you’ve forgotten.
11. They go to events they have no interest in.
Whether it’s standing in a muddy field watching a sport you don’t understand or nodding along at an avant-garde art show, we’ve all sacrificed our Saturday afternoons for someone else’s hobby. You’re sitting there thinking about what you’d rather be doing, usually anything else, while trying to look like you’re having the time of your life.
It’s a proper test of your patience, but you do it because it’s the only way to spend an extra few hours in their company. You’ll likely end up knowing way too much about 17th-century pottery or local cricket leagues just because you didn’t want to admit you were bored to tears.
12. They pretend to be more athletic or outdoorsy than they are.
Suddenly, someone who usually considers a walk to the pub as a hike is “well into” camping and mountain climbing. You find yourself agreeing to go on a weekend trek or a coastal run, praying that your lungs won’t give out before the first mile is up. It’s a classic move to seem more adventurous and active, but it usually backfires the second you’re asked to put up a tent in the rain. You spend the whole time wondering why you lied while trying to hide the fact that you’re about to collapse from exhaustion.
13. They ask friends to spy on their behalf.
Source: Unsplash Enlisting a friend to “just see” what your crush is up to or who they’re hanging out with is a standard, if slightly embarrassing, tactic. You want the intel but don’t want your name appearing in their “viewed” list, so you get someone else to do the dirty work for you.
It’s a way to satisfy your curiosity while keeping your hands relatively clean, though it usually just makes you look a bit obsessed to your friends. You end up with a group chat full of screenshots and theories that probably don’t mean anything in the long run.
14. They ignore red flags in a new relationship.
Source: Unsplash In the early days of infatuation, it’s remarkably easy to convince yourself that their weird habits or questionable attitudes are “just a quirk.” You see the warning signs—the way they talk to staff or their habit of disappearing for days—and you just shove them to the back of your mind because you want it to work.
It’s a form of self-delusion where you’re more in love with the idea of the person than the actual human being in front of you. You’ll likely look back six months later and wonder how you were so blind to things that were blindingly obvious to everyone else.
15. They become jealous of their partner’s friends.
Source: Unsplash Even if you’re usually a secure person, it’s common to feel a bit of a prickle when your partner or crush is constantly talking about a “best mate” you haven’t met. You start comparing yourself to people you don’t even know, wondering if they’re funnier or if they’ve got more history together than you ever will.
It’s an uncomfortable, petty feeling that most people would never admit to, mostly because it makes you feel like a bit of a child. You try to play it cool, but you’re secretly keeping tabs on every mention of their name in conversation.
16. They Google their date before meeting.
These days, going into a first date totally blind feels like a missed opportunity, so most of us do a bit of pre-meeting research. You’re looking for any potential red flags, but you’re also trying to find out what they’re into so you can have a few conversation starters ready to go.
It’s a bit weird to realise that you know where they went to uni and what their first job was before you’ve even said hello. You then have to spend the whole evening pretending you don’t already know the answers to the questions you’re asking.
17. They try to make their ex jealous on social media.
Source: Unsplash Posting a photo where you look suspiciously good or checking into a fancy bar is a classic way of saying “look how well I’m doing” to a former partner. You’re carefully curating your life to look like a non-stop party, all in the hope that they’ll see it and feel a pang of regret. It’s a digital game of who won the breakup, and it’s a bit of a hollow victory even if they do see it. You spend more time checking who viewed your story than you do actually enjoying the night you’re supposed to be having.
18. They compromise their values or beliefs.
In the rush of a new relationship, it’s easy to find yourself nodding along to opinions that actually go against your own values. You might laugh at a joke that wasn’t funny or agree with a political take you actually hate, just to avoid any friction while the spark is still fresh.
It’s a slippery slope where you slowly start to lose bits of yourself just to keep the peace or stay likeable. You usually regret it later when you realise you’ve been pretending to be someone you’re not just to keep someone else happy.
19. They neglect other important relationships.
When a new romance kicks off, it’s very tempting to disappear off the face of the earth and spend every waking second with your new partner. You cancel plans with your oldest friends and stop replying to the group chat because you’re too busy in your own little bubble.
It’s a habit that often leads to a lot of guilt later on when the honeymoon phase wears off, and you realise you’ve neglected the people who were actually there for you. Balancing a new flame with your existing life is harder than it looks when you’re properly smitten.
20. They keep mementos from past relationships.
Source: Unsplash Even when you tell everyone you’re “totally over it,” there’s often a shoebox or a hidden folder of photos that you just can’t bring yourself to bin. It might be a concert ticket, an old hoodie, or just a random birthday card, but it stays tucked away like a little emotional time capsule. You’re not necessarily pining for them, but you’re holding onto the version of yourself you were when you were with them. It’s a bittersweet habit that most people keep quiet, especially if they’re in a new relationship.
21. They fantasise about a future together far too soon.
Source: Unsplash It’s embarrassing to admit, but many of us have found ourselves wondering what our last name would sound like with theirs before we even know their middle name. You start mentally decorating a house and wondering if your families would get on, all while you’re still in the getting to know you phase. These premature fantasies can set you up for a massive fall if things don’t go the way you’ve imagined. It’s a bit of a runaway train of thought that’s best kept firmly to yourself if you don’t want to scare them off.
