I was an only child, and while I loved it, it wasn’t without its challenges.
Not having siblings can be both a lonely and empowering experience, and it definitely changes the adult you become. Here are a few struggles you likely experienced if you grew up as an only child. I relate to more than a few of these myself!
1. You never quite mastered the art of sharing.
Without siblings to constantly negotiate with, sharing doesn’t always come naturally. You might have to consciously remind yourself to share as an adult, whether it’s food, space, or attention. It’s not that you’re selfish; you’re just used to having things to yourself.
2. You’re comfortable with being alone — sometimes too comfortable.
Growing up, you learned to entertain yourself and enjoy your own company. While this is a valuable skill, you might sometimes find it hard to break out of your solitary habits and actively push yourself to socialise.
3. You feel pressured to achieve more.
As the only focus of your parents’ attention and expectations, you might feel an added pressure to succeed. Without siblings to share the load of parental hopes and dreams, you could feel like you’re carrying the weight of your family’s aspirations on your shoulders.
4. You struggle with conflict resolution.
Without the daily practice of sibling squabbles, you might find it harder to navigate conflict and drama as an adult. The push and pull of compromise that comes naturally to those with siblings might be a skill you had to learn later in life.
5. You’re fiercely independent, sometimes to a fault.
Years of self-reliance have made you incredibly independent. While this is generally positive, you might sometimes struggle to ask for help when you need it, preferring to tackle problems on your own even when support would be beneficial.
6. You find group dynamics challenging.
Large family gatherings or friend groups can sometimes feel overwhelming. You’re used to one-on-one interactions with your parents, so navigating the complexities of group dynamics might not come as naturally to you.
7. You’re often mistaken for being spoiled.
People sometimes assume that being an only child means you were spoiled rotten. While you might have received more material things, you know that it doesn’t necessarily translate to being spoiled in character.
8. You feel guilty about leaving your parents.
Source: Pexels As an adult, you might struggle with feelings of guilt when moving away or starting your own life. You’re acutely aware that you’re your parents’ only child, and the responsibility of being there for them can weigh heavily on you.
9. You sometimes wish for a sibling, even as an adult.
While you’re used to being on your own, there are moments when you wish you had a sibling to share experiences with or to support you during tough times. This feeling can persist well into adulthood, especially during major life events.
10. You’re not used to hand-me-downs.
The concept of hand-me-downs is foreign to you. Everything you had growing up was new and specifically for you. This might have made you less adaptable to using second-hand items or sharing possessions.
11. You struggle with being the centre of attention.
Growing up, you were often the focus in your family. As an adult, you might find this level of attention uncomfortable in larger social settings, preferring to blend in rather than stand out.
12. You have a hard time understanding sibling dynamics.
The complex relationships between siblings can sometimes baffle you. The mix of rivalry and unconditional love that often characterises sibling relationships is something you’ve observed but never personally experienced.
13. You’re used to adult company.
Source: Unsplash As a child, you spent a lot of time around adults. This might have made you mature faster in some ways, but it could also mean you sometimes struggle to relate to peers who had different childhood experiences.
14. You feel the need to be self-sufficient.
Source: Unsplash You’ve always known that you’ll need to take care of yourself and potentially your parents in the future. This can create a strong drive for self-sufficiency, but also a lot of pressure to ensure you’re always capable of handling everything on your own.
15. You sometimes feel like you missed out on the sibling experience.
While you appreciate the benefits of being an only child, there are times when you feel a twinge of regret for not experiencing the unique bond of siblinghood. You might wonder how having a brother or sister would have shaped your personality and life experiences.
16. You value your friendships intensely.
Without siblings, your friends often take on a more significant role in your life. You might form very close, almost familial bonds with your friends, seeing them as the siblings you never had. This can lead to deep, lasting friendships, but also to heightened disappointment if these relationships don’t meet your expectations.
