There’s a certain type of person who seems to live for enforcing rules, not because it helps anyone, but just because they can.
You’ll spot them in offices, public services, or anywhere there’s a clipboard and a vague sense of authority. They’re not technically wrong, but the way they stick to the letter of the law (while missing the spirit entirely) makes everything more complicated than it needs to be. If you’ve ever dealt with one, chances are, these phrases will be all too familiar. Here are 16 classic things that scream “jobsworth”—and yes, they really say this stuff with a straight face.
1. “That’s not my department.”
This one usually comes when you’re desperate for help and the person in front of you could absolutely do something, but won’t. Even if they’re standing right next to the department you need, they won’t budge a muscle.
It’s the kind of response that shuts things down instantly, often delivered with a shrug. A jobsworth would rather point you elsewhere than take two steps to sort something out because doing anything outside their lane feels like a threat to their precious role description.
2. “It’s more than my job’s worth.”
The origin of the term itself, and they say it proudly, as if following a rulebook from the 1970s. It usually means, “I absolutely could help, but I’d rather not risk being told off, even if it’s wildly unimportant.”
You’re left staring at someone who clearly has the power to make things easier but would rather hide behind policy than use a drop of common sense. It’s less about real consequences and more about protecting their bubble of control.
3. “I can’t let you do that without a manager’s approval.”
This is the go-to phrase when something completely routine like changing a booking or swapping a product gets turned into a multistep saga. The manager, of course, is always mysteriously unavailable.
It’s not even that they need permission. It’s that involving a manager feels official, so it buys them time or shifts the responsibility elsewhere. Meanwhile, you’re just trying to get on with your day without starting a formal inquest.
4. “We’ve never done it that way before.”
Innovation? Not here. Suggesting a slightly different approach—like using common sense or doing what clearly works better—gets immediately shut down with this classic line. For the jobsworth, “new” equals “dangerous.” They’d rather cling to outdated routines than risk trying something more efficient. Progress isn’t the goal; following routine is.
5. “Rules are rules.”
Possibly the most infuriating phrase of all. It’s usually wheeled out when the rule in question makes absolutely no sense in the context, or when bending it would harm no one at all. It’s not about safety or standards. It’s about control. A jobsworth sees rules as sacred text and will wield them like a sword, no matter how much chaos it creates for everyone else.
6. “You’ll need to put that in writing.”
Need to make a simple change or ask a basic question? Better get your quill and scroll out. This one usually comes when someone wants to avoid dealing with something right now. It’s a classic delay tactic, turning a 30-second fix into a long-winded email trail or a pointless form. Jobsworths love a paper trail because it buys them time and moves the spotlight elsewhere.
7. “I can’t override the system.”
Ah, the mysterious “system” that somehow holds more power than any actual human being. Whether it’s a computer error or a barcode mishap, the system becomes their ultimate excuse. You know full well that someone, somewhere, could fix it, but they won’t be the one to try. It’s a handy way to shrug off responsibility while sounding like their hands are tied by a higher power (spoiler: they’re not).
8. “That’s not how we usually do it.”
Similar to “we’ve never done it that way,” but even more annoying when you’re literally being told no just because you’re asking for something slightly out of the ordinary. This isn’t about policy. It’s about comfort zones. Deviating from “usual” procedures sends a jobsworth into mild panic, even if the usual way makes no sense and takes twice as long.
9. “I’d love to help, but…”
Would they really? Probably not. This phrase is often the setup to a firm no, padded with fake politeness. It gives the illusion of empathy while delivering the exact opposite. It’s their way of softening the blow, but you’re still walking away with no help and twice the frustration. If they really loved helping, they’d… well, help.
10. “If I make an exception for you, I’d have to do it for everyone.”
The great fear of a jobsworth: the slippery slope of fairness. It doesn’t matter if your request is perfectly reasonable—they see it as the first domino in the collapse of their rule-bound universe. What they don’t realise is that good service often *is* about exceptions—understanding context, applying common sense, and treating people like humans. But that’s not in the script.
11. “You should’ve read the sign.”
Even if the sign is tiny, buried in fine print, or hidden behind a plant pot, the jobsworth will still point to it like it’s the Ten Commandments. It’s always your fault for not spotting it. Rather than helping, they use signs as ammunition. It’s less about guidance and more about gotchas—a passive-aggressive power move disguised as protocol.
12. “There’s nothing I can do.”
There probably is, but saying there’s “nothing” absolves them of all responsibility. It’s a firm full-stop delivered with a look that dares you to challenge them. When you hear this, you know you’ve hit the brick wall. No more reasoning, no more logic—it’s the official end of the road (unless, of course, you find someone else who can help).
13. “That’s above my pay grade.”
This line might sound self-deprecating, but it’s really just a refusal wrapped in humility. It means, “I don’t want to get involved,” not “I’m genuinely unable to help.” It’s often used to shut down further discussion without sounding hostile, but behind the smile, it’s just another way to say, “Not my problem.”
14. “I need to follow protocol.”
Protocol is the jobsworth’s favourite word. It sounds official, mysterious, and non-negotiable. Mentioning it is a conversation ender, especially when you’ve asked something completely reasonable. And half the time, the so-called protocol doesn’t even exist—it’s just vague enough to go unchallenged. But it serves its purpose: keep things rigid and under control.
15. “That’s just how it is.”
There’s nothing more dismissive than this one. It translates roughly to: “I don’t care enough to explain, and I’m not going to change anything.” It’s the ultimate shutdown. Even when you’re being calm and reasonable, this line slams the door in your face. It’s not about understanding; it’s about ending the conversation with as little effort as possible.
16. “You’ll have to come back another day.”
This one stings most when you’ve made a special trip, queued up, or rearranged your whole day. The task could probably be done in five minutes, but they’ve decided it’s too late, too complicated, or simply “not today.” The jobsworth lives for the deferral. It gives them control while handing you nothing but inconvenience. It’s not personal, of course—it’s just policy… probably.
