We’d all like to think we’re decent people, but are we really?
Being a decent person isn’t about grand gestures, really — it’s about the small stuff that you do when no one else is watching. Unless you do these 23 things regularly, your “decent person” status might be up for debate.
1. Admit when you’re wrong
Source: Unsplash Stop making excuses. When you mess up, own it immediately. Don’t wait for someone to call you out. Acknowledge your mistake, apologize sincerely, and outline how you’ll fix it. This isn’t about self-flagellation; it’s about integrity. People respect those who can admit fault far more than those who always try to be right. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness. Make it a habit to reflect on your actions and be honest with yourself.
2. Actually listen in conversations
Source: Unsplash Most people are terrible listeners. They’re just waiting for their turn to speak. Break this cycle. When someone’s talking, give them your full attention. Put away your phone, make eye contact, and genuinely try to understand their perspective. Ask thoughtful questions. Don’t interrupt or offer solutions unless asked. Remember details they share and follow up later. This level of attention makes people feel valued and strengthens relationships. It’s a rare skill in today’s world.
3. Do the dishes when it’s not your turn
Source: Unsplash Whether at home or work, don’t just do the bare minimum. If you see a task that needs doing, do it without being asked or expecting praise. This isn’t about being a doormat; it’s about contributing to a positive environment. It shows you care about the people around you and aren’t just looking out for yourself. This mindset extends beyond dishes – it’s about being proactive in all areas of life.
4. Give genuine compliments
Not empty flattery, but sincere appreciation for someone’s efforts or qualities. Pay attention to the people around you and notice what they do well. Be specific – “Great job on that presentation” is better than “You’re so smart.” Don’t expect anything in return. The goal is to make someone else feel good, not to get something for yourself. This habit trains you to look for the positive in others and spreads goodwill.
5. Stand up to bullies, even when it’s uncomfortable
This isn’t about physical confrontation. It’s about speaking up when you see someone being mistreated, whether it’s at work, in public, or online. Don’t be a passive bystander. Use your voice to support the underdog, even if it means risking social awkwardness or professional discomfort. This takes courage, but it’s essential for creating a just society. Remember, silence in the face of injustice is complicity.
6. Learn to cook a proper meal
Source: Unsplash This isn’t about becoming a gourmet chef. It’s about being able to nourish yourself and others without relying on takeaways or ready meals. Learn to make at least five nutritious dishes from scratch. This skill promotes self-sufficiency, saves money, and allows you to show care for others through food. It’s also a great way to connect with your cultural heritage or explore new cultures. Cooking is a fundamental life skill everyone should master.
7. Volunteer regularly, not just when it’s convenient
Commit to a cause you care about and show up consistently, not just when you feel like it or during holidays. Find an organisation that aligns with your values and dedicate a set amount of time each month. This isn’t about padding your CV or social media posts. It’s about making a tangible difference in your community. Regular volunteering builds empathy, perspective, and a sense of purpose. It’s easy to care in theory; this puts it into practice.
8. Read books that challenge your worldview
Don’t just stick to authors and topics you already agree with. Actively seek out perspectives that make you uncomfortable. Read history, philosophy, and current affairs from diverse sources. This isn’t about changing your core values, but about understanding why others think differently. It develops critical thinking and empathy. A truly decent person is open to new ideas and willing to question their assumptions. Make this a lifelong habit.
9. Learn basic first aid
You never know when you might need to save a life. Take a proper course and keep your skills updated. This isn’t just about emergencies – it’s about being prepared to help in any situation. Knowing how to respond calmly in a crisis is invaluable. It’s a practical way to show care for your community. Plus, the confidence you gain from this knowledge carries over into other areas of life. Don’t wait until you regret not knowing.
10. Practice active forgiveness
Source: Unsplash This doesn’t mean letting people walk all over you. It means consciously choosing to let go of grudges and resentment. When someone wrongs you, address it directly, then work on moving past it. This is for your own mental health as much as for others. Holding on to anger only hurts you in the long run. Active forgiveness involves empathy and understanding, even for those who’ve hurt you. It’s a strength, not a weakness.
11. Learn a second language
This isn’t about becoming fluent overnight. It’s about making a consistent effort to understand another culture through its language. Start with the basics and build slowly. This expands your worldview, improves cognitive function, and shows respect for diversity. It’s particularly important if you live in a multicultural area. Even if you never become conversational, the effort demonstrates openness and cultural appreciation. It’s a lifelong journey that pays dividends in understanding and connection.
12. Reduce your environmental impact
This goes beyond recycling. Examine every aspect of your life for ways to reduce waste and consumption. Use public transport, buy second-hand, cut down on meat, fix things instead of replacing them. This isn’t about perfection – it’s about consistent effort and awareness. Small changes add up. Being a decent person means considering your impact on the planet and future generations. It’s not optional any more; it’s a responsibility.
13. Develop emotional intelligence
Learn to recognise and manage your own emotions, and respond appropriately to others’. This isn’t about suppressing feelings, but understanding them. Practice self-reflection, ask for feedback, and work on your empathy. Emotional intelligence improves relationships, reduces conflicts, and makes you a better leader and friend. It’s not taught in schools, but it’s crucial for being a well-rounded, decent person. This skill takes time to develop, so start now.
14. Support local businesses
Source: Unsplash Make an effort to shop at independent stores, eat at local restaurants, and use local services. Yes, it might cost a bit more, but it keeps money in your community and supports your neighbours. Get to know the people behind the businesses. This builds a stronger, more connected community. It’s about creating a vibrant local economy and preserving the unique character of your area. In a world of global chains, this is an act of resistance and care.
15. Learn to give and receive constructive criticism
This is a two-way street. When giving feedback, be specific, focus on actions not personality, and offer solutions. When receiving it, listen without getting defensive, ask questions for clarity, and thank the person. This skill is crucial for personal growth and healthy relationships. It’s not about tearing people down or being perfect; it’s about helping each other improve. Practice in low-stakes situations to build your confidence.
16. Maintain healthy boundaries
Being decent doesn’t mean being a pushover. Learn to say no without guilt. Respect your own time, energy, and values. This isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for sustainable kindness. Clear boundaries prevent resentment and burnout. They also model healthy relationship dynamics for others. This skill takes practice and might feel uncomfortable at first. Start small and be consistent. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
17. Educate yourself on social issues
Stay informed about current events and systemic problems in society. Don’t rely on social media headlines; read in-depth articles and books. Understand the historical context of issues like racism, sexism, and economic inequality. This isn’t about becoming an expert, but about being an informed citizen. Knowledge is the first step to making positive changes. It also helps you engage in meaningful conversations and challenge misinformation when you encounter it.
18. Practice radical honesty
This doesn’t mean being brutal or sharing every thought. It means committing to truthfulness in all areas of life. No white lies, no exaggerations, no omissions. This builds trust and integrity. It’s uncomfortable at first, but it simplifies life tremendously. You’ll never have to keep track of lies or worry about being caught out. This honesty extends to yourself too – face your flaws and motivations without self-deception.
19. Learn basic home and car maintenance
Don’t be helpless when things break. Learn to change a tyre, fix a leaky tap, or troubleshoot common household issues. This isn’t about becoming an expert DIYer; it’s about basic self-reliance. It saves money, reduces waste, and gives you confidence. Plus, you’ll be able to help others in need. These skills are becoming rarer, making them even more valuable. Start with simple tasks and build your knowledge over time.
20. Practice active inclusivity
Go beyond passive non-discrimination. Actively work to include diverse voices and perspectives in your life and work. This means stepping out of your comfort zone, challenging your assumptions, and creating space for others. In meetings, amplify underrepresented voices. In social situations, reach out to those on the margins. This isn’t about tokenism; it’s about genuine engagement and learning. It makes our communities stronger and more innovative.
21. Develop a growth mindset
Source: Unsplash Believe in your ability to learn and improve. Don’t label yourself as “bad” at something; instead, say, “I’m still learning.” Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth. This mindset leads to resilience, creativity, and continuous improvement. It’s not about pretending to be perfect; it’s about seeing potential in yourself and others. This attitude is contagious and uplifting. It turns setbacks into stepping stones and fosters a love of learning.
22. Take responsibility for your mental health
Source: Unsplash Mental health is just as important as physical health. Learn to recognise your own patterns and triggers. Develop healthy coping mechanisms. Seek professional help when needed, without shame. This isn’t just for your own benefit; it impacts everyone around you. Taking care of your mental health allows you to show up fully in life and relationships. It’s an ongoing process, not a one-time fix. Prioritise it like you would any other aspect of your wellbeing.
23. Leave every space better than you found it
This applies to physical spaces and social situations. Pick up rubbish, even if it’s not yours. Resolve conflicts instead of walking away. Make an effort to improve systems and processes, not just complain about them. This mindset creates positive change wherever you go. It’s about taking ownership of your environment and community. Small actions add up to significant impacts over time. Be the person who makes things better, not worse.
