If you’ve ever dealt with a narcissist before, you know by now that the best possible way to deal with them is by ignoring them completely.
There’s no sense trying to engage with someone like that by expressing your feelings or trying to make them see the error of their ways — it’ll never work, and you’ll be more frustrated, exhausted, and probably gaslit than you have been by them already. Completely blank the narcissist — not only is it effective, but it’s the one thing that hurts them the most — here’s why.
1. They crave attention like oxygen.
Narcissists thrive on attention, whether it’s positive or negative. By ignoring them, you’re cutting off their main source of emotional fuel. Suddenly, they have no gas in their tank, so to speak, and they simply don’t know how to cope without it. You probably hate to admit it, but it feels kind of amazing watching them spiral.
2. It challenges their sense of importance.
In a narcissist’s world, they’re always the main character. When you ignore them, you’re essentially saying they’re not important enough to warrant your attention. Such a direct hit to their inflated ego can be incredibly anxiety-inducing (and probably a little infuriating) for them. Oh, well!
3. They can’t manipulate what they can’t reach.
Narcissists love to use manipulation tactics to get what they want from people, but that’s not going to happen with you anymore. By ignoring them, you’re removing their ability to push your buttons or twist your words. Without engagement, their usual tricks fall flat, leaving them feeling powerless.
4. It forces them to confront their own thoughts.
When you stop providing external validation or conflict, narcissists are left alone with their thoughts. This can be uncomfortable for them, as it might lead to self-reflection – something they usually avoid at all costs. Of course, don’t get too hopeful about them changing or suddenly recognising that they have a problem. They’re more likely going to continue to lie to themselves about how hard done by they’ve been and how terrible you are for not putting up with them!
5. They lose their audience.
Narcissists love to perform, whether it’s by showing off their achievements (many of which were probably embellished or outright lies) or creating drama. Ignoring them is like leaving them on an empty stage. Without an audience, their performances lose all meaning, which can be really upsetting and unsettling for them.
6. It disrupts their sense of control.
Narcissists need to be the ones in control and calling the shots at all times. When you ignore them, you’re taking control of the situation in a way they can’t counter. Losing their power in your dynamic can be incredibly frustrating for them because they’ve never had to deal with it before, and they simply don’t know how to move forward.
7. They feel invisible.
Narcissists hate feeling invisible or unimportant — in that sense, they’re experiencing a normal human emotion. By ignoring them, you’re essentially making them feel unseen, which goes against everything they believe about their place in the world. This can trigger deep-seated insecurities, but unfortunately for them, it has to be done for your own protection.
8. It leaves them without external validation.
Many narcissists rely on other people for validation of their self-worth. When you ignore them, you’re cutting off this external source of esteem. Without it, they might have to confront their own insecurities and self-doubt. They won’t, of course — they’ll just look for another source for their ego boost.
9. They can’t project their issues onto you.
Narcissists always project their own flaws and insecurities onto other people, rather than taking any agency for their own life. When you cut them off, you’re not giving them the opportunity to do this, which means they have to sit with these uncomfortable feelings themselves. Oops!
10. It challenges their world-view.
In a narcissist’s mind, they’re irresistible and impossible to ignore, so when someone successfully ignores them, it challenges this fundamental belief about themselves and the world. It causes some serious cognitive dissonance, which can be confusing and upsetting for them.
11. They lose their emotional punching bag.
Narcissists always use other people as emotional outlets, venting their frustrations or seeking constant reassurance. By ignoring them, you’re removing this emotional crutch and forcing them to manage their own feelings. It’s time they grow up and get their act together, don’t you think?
12. It removes their sense of relevance.
Narcissists need to feel relevant and important at all times. Ignoring them sends the message that they’re not as relevant as they think they are, which can be a harsh reality check.
13. They can’t engage in their usual drama.
Many narcissists thrive on creating and sustaining drama. When you ignore them, you’re not participating in this drama, which can leave them feeling bored and unfulfilled. It won’t be long before they move on to their next victim to stir things up.
14. It forces them to look for validation elsewhere.
When their usual source of attention is cut off, narcissists have to look for validation from other people. It sounds simple enough in their minds, but it can be challenging and potentially eye-opening if they struggle to find someone else to fill that role.
15. They feel a loss of identity.
Source: Unsplash Many narcissists build their identity around the reactions they get from other people, so without these reactions, they might feel a disturbing sense of emptiness or loss of identity. Instead of sitting with those feelings and doing any work on themselves, however, they’ll just blame you, like they always have.
16. It takes away their ability to gaslight.
Source: Unsplash Gaslighting is a narcissist’s favourite tool, and when you’re not engaging with them, they can’t twist your words or make you doubt your own perceptions. You’ve basically taken away a huge tool in their manipulation arsenal, and they won’t take kindly to that.
17. They’re terrified of being abandoned.
Source: Unsplash Despite their outward bravado, many narcissists have a deep-seated fear of abandonment. Ignoring them might trigger this fear and send them into a total meltdown. The thing is, if they treated people with respect, courtesy, and care, people wouldn’t to leave them behind, but that’s too simple…
18. It forces them to face reality.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists tend to live in a somewhat distorted reality where they’re the centre of everything. Being ignored forces them to confront the reality that the world doesn’t revolve around them, which can be a harsh but necessary wake-up call.
