Boomers might get a lot of flak for outdated views, but when it comes to love and relationships, they actually got some things very right.
While modern dating is full of apps, situationships, and endless mixed signals, boomers grew up in a time when love was often simpler and more straightforward. Sure, times have changed, but some of their relationship wisdom still holds up *big time*. Here are just some of the things this generation nailed — and is still happily living by — when it comes to love and commitment.
1. Commitment actually means something.
For boomers, commitment wasn’t just a temporary arrangement; it was a promise that meant sticking things out, even when it got tough. They weren’t obsessed with having an “exit plan” the moment things got tough. That doesn’t mean staying in bad relationships, but it does mean putting in the effort rather than walking away at the first sign of trouble. Love isn’t always smooth sailing, but they understood that rough patches don’t mean giving up.
2. Face-to-face communication beats texting every single time.
Before smartphones, boomers had to actually talk to each other. There were no DMs, left-on-read moments, or vague “wyd?” texts—if they wanted to see someone, they picked up the phone or showed up in person. That directness built stronger connections because it’s way harder to misinterpret tone and intention when you’re speaking face to face. And honestly? Relationships were probably a lot healthier without the endless overanalysing messages.
3. Love isn’t all about chemistry — it’s about effort.
Modern dating puts a huge emphasis on instant sparks, but boomers knew that real love isn’t just about that initial attraction. They understood that good relationships require effort, not just butterflies in your stomach. They focused on building relationships over time, not just chasing the next dopamine hit. And to be honest, actual love is about choosing each other every day anyway, not just relying on a magical “soulmate” connection to keep things together.
4. Making time for each other is non-negotiable.
Boomers weren’t glued to screens, swiping endlessly, or waiting for someone to text back three hours later. When they were in relationships, they made time for each other. There was no halfway commitment. They understood that quality time matters, whether that meant sitting down for dinner together, spending weekends focused on each other, or simply enjoying each other’s company without distractions. Relationships don’t work when one or both people are always too busy.
5. Arguing doesn’t mean the relationship is over.
Many people today panic the moment there’s conflict, assuming it means the relationship is doomed. But boomers understood that arguments don’t automatically mean things are broken. Disagreements are totally normal — what matters is how you handle them. They didn’t just block someone or ghost after one fight. Instead, they worked through problems, knowing that love isn’t always perfect.
6. Privacy in a relationship is healthy.
Before social media, boomers weren’t posting every relationship milestone, argument, or anniversary online for public validation. Their relationships were theirs, not something for everyone to comment on. They knew that the healthiest relationships are the ones that don’t need outside approval. Not everything has to be shared — sometimes, love is just about two people, not an audience. That’s not to say they never got advice, but they definitely kept their cards close to their chest in that regard.
7. Marriage wasn’t treated like a trend.
While marriage isn’t for everyone, boomers didn’t treat it as something disposable. They saw it as a lifelong commitment, not just a phase or a fun “next step” to tick off a list. They understood that it takes more than just love to make a marriage work—it’s about respect, compromise, and making choices that prioritise the relationship. Whether or not you believe in marriage, there’s something valuable about that long-term perspective.
8. Dates were actual dates.
Before “hanging out” and “seeing where things go” became the norm, dates were intentional. Boomers actually planned things, whether that meant dinner, a day out, or something simple like a walk. There wasn’t this endless “What are we?” confusion, where one person is secretly hoping it turns into something more. If someone liked you, they asked you out. It wasn’t that complicated.
9. Independence within a relationship was encouraged.
Despite being big on commitment, boomers also understood that being in a relationship doesn’t mean losing yourself. Many of them kept their own hobbies, friendships, and interests outside of their partner. They knew that love isn’t about fusing into one person; it’s about two people supporting each other while still having their own lives. That balance is what keeps relationships strong.
10. Romance doesn’t have to be extravagant.
Boomers didn’t need Instagram-worthy grand gestures to feel loved. They found romance in small, everyday actions, like handwritten notes, making each other coffee, or just spending quality time together. They understood that love isn’t about how much money you spend—it’s about how much effort you put in. Sometimes, the simplest gestures mean the most.
11. Patience is essential in love.
Boomers weren’t obsessed with instant gratification. They knew that good relationships take time, and that rushing into things often leads to rushing out just as quickly. They understood that real love is built over years, not weeks. The best relationships aren’t just found; they’re created through patience, effort, and mutual understanding. If more people had that approach these days, relationships might last a whole lot longer.
12. Love is a choice, not just a feeling.
Modern dating often focuses on feeling in love, but boomers knew that love is also an action. It’s about the choices you make every day to support, respect, and be there for someone. Feelings come and go, but real commitment means choosing each other even on the hard days. They didn’t expect love to be effortless; they put the work in.
13. Apologising is just as important as being right.
Healthy relationships aren’t about keeping score. Boomers knew that sometimes, you just have to apologise, even if you’re not totally in the wrong. They weren’t obsessed with “winning” arguments or proving a point. They valued the relationship more than being right, which is why many of them were able to keep love going for decades.
14. Loyalty and trust are non-negotiable.
In an era where cheating and shady behaviour are sometimes dismissed as just how things are, boomers took trust seriously. They believed in loyalty, honesty, and actually meaning it when they said they were committed. If they gave their word, they kept it. They understood that without trust, a relationship doesn’t stand a chance.
15. The little things matter way more than the big ones.
At the end of the day, the happiest boomer couples stayed together because they focused on the small moments — the inside jokes, the morning routines, the little traditions that made their relationship theirs. It wasn’t about chasing perfection or waiting for some grand romantic moment. They knew that love isn’t about one big thing; it’s about the millions of little things that make life better together.
