Ways Someone Might Shame You In Public To Boost Their Ego

Being belittled, condescended to, or shamed by someone, especially in public, can be absolutely humiliating.

Of course, it’s not always obvious at first — sometimes, it’s wrapped in a joke, disguised as “just teasing,” or delivered under the pretence of honesty. But at its core, it’s about one person putting another down to make themselves feel superior. Whether it’s a backhanded comment or an embarrassing call-out, public shaming is inappropriate, unnecessary, and downright cruel. Here are some of the ways someone might shame you in public just to boost their own ego. If they happen to you, know that you don’t have to put up with it (and you really shouldn’t).

1. Making “harmless” jokes at your expense

Some people love to use humour as a cover for putting you down. They’ll make a joke about something personal — your appearance, intelligence, or habits — then brush it off with, “I was just joking!” That kind of public shaming is meant to make them look funny and confident while making you feel small. If you call them out, they’ll accuse you of being too sensitive. The reality is, a joke shouldn’t come at someone else’s expense. If it only makes one person laugh while making another feel embarrassed, it’s not funny — it’s just cruel.

2. Bringing up your past mistakes in front of other people

Some people love reminding you — and everyone else! — of things you’ve done wrong in the past. They might casually mention that time you failed an exam, embarrassed yourself, or made a bad decision, all while acting like it’s no big deal. They’ll say things like, “Remember when you totally messed that up?” as if it’s a fun memory. But what they’re really doing is putting you on the spot while making themselves feel superior. People who respect you won’t drag your past into the present just for laughs.

3. Correcting you loudly to prove a point

There’s a difference between offering helpful advice and making a public show of correcting someone. Some people take every opportunity to point out when you mispronounce a word, get a fact wrong, or make a small mistake — just so they can look smarter. If someone constantly corrects you in a way that makes you feel small rather than informed, they’re not trying to help. They’re trying to make themselves look better by making you look worse.

4. Commenting on your appearance in a way that isn’t really a compliment

Shaming can be sneaky, especially when it’s disguised as concern. Someone might comment on your weight, outfit, or makeup in a way that sounds like a compliment but isn’t. “Wow, you’re so brave for wearing that” or “You look great now — have you lost weight?” are classic examples. These comments are designed to make you second-guess yourself. Instead of feeling good, you’re left wondering if something was wrong with how you looked before. A real compliment makes you feel better, not worse.

5. Telling a personal story about you without your permission

Some people love to expose embarrassing or deeply personal details about you in public conversations. They might bring up a private struggle, a dating story, or something you told them in confidence, just to get a reaction. They’ll laugh it off and say, “I thought you wouldn’t mind,” but in reality, they knew it would make you uncomfortable. The goal is to control the narrative, putting you in an awkward position while making themselves the centre of attention.

6. Comparing you to someone else to make you feel inadequate

Publicly comparing you to someone “better,” whether it’s a sibling, coworker, or mutual friend, is a subtle way of making you feel like you don’t measure up. It might sound like, “Oh, you’re good at that, but not as good as [someone else],” or, “Wow, [another person] would never do that.” It makes you feel like you’re constantly being judged against other people. It’s a way of shifting attention onto themselves by positioning themselves as someone who can evaluate you, rather than treating you as an equal.

7. Calling out something about you that makes you different

Some people love making a spectacle out of things that set you apart, whether it’s your accent, dietary choices, lifestyle, or even your interests. They’ll say things like, “Oh wow, you’re really into that?” or, “You’re the only one here who doesn’t eat meat.” By pointing out your differences, they make themselves feel more ‘normal’ and you feel like the odd one out. True confidence doesn’t come from making someone else feel excluded.

8. Over-explaining something to make you look uninformed

Some people take every opportunity to act like the smartest person in the room. They’ll explain things in an exaggeratedly slow or detailed way, even when you already understand. This is a classic form of mansplaining or condescending behaviour. The goal is to make you feel like you need their guidance, even when you don’t. If someone constantly acts like you can’t grasp basic concepts, they’re not just sharing knowledge — they’re trying to assert dominance.

9. Giving you “advice” you didn’t ask for

Unsolicited advice is one thing, but when someone publicly gives you advice in a way that highlights your flaws, it crosses into shaming. Comments like, “You should really try dressing differently,” or “You’d be so much more attractive if you lost weight,” aren’t advice — they’re passive-aggressive insults. People who genuinely want to help will do so in private and with kindness. When someone does it in front of other people, they’re more interested in showing off than actually helping.

10. Acting overly surprised when you succeed

Nothing feels quite as backhanded as someone acting shocked when you do well. “Wow, I didn’t expect you to actually pull that off!” or “You did that? No way!” might sound like surprise, but they’re really just ways to undermine your achievements. Instead of celebrating your success, they’re subtly suggesting that they thought you weren’t capable. A real supporter wouldn’t make you feel like your accomplishments are shocking — they’d just be happy for you.

11. Asking incredibly personal questions in front of a crowd

Some people love putting you on the spot with uncomfortable questions. They’ll ask about your salary, relationship status, or family issues in a group setting, knowing full well that you don’t want to answer. They’re not curious; they’re controlling the conversation and making sure you’re the one feeling exposed. People who genuinely care about your life won’t put you on the spot for entertainment.

12. Interrupting you constantly to steal the spotlight

When someone regularly interrupts or talks over you in conversations, they’re not just being rude; they’re making it clear that their voice is more important than yours. They might act like they’re adding to the conversation, but in reality, they’re shifting the focus onto themselves. This type of public shaming is subtle but effective. It makes you feel unheard and unimportant while reinforcing their need to be the centre of attention.

13. Publicly doubting your abilities

There’s a way to express concern without making someone feel incompetent. But when someone loudly questions whether you can handle something, especially in front of other people, it’s not about helping. It’s about making you second-guess yourself while making them seem wiser. Comments like, “Are you sure you can do that?” or “I don’t know if this is really for you,” can plant unnecessary doubt. People who respect you will encourage, not humiliate.

14. Highlighting your insecurities for no reason

If someone knows you’re self-conscious about something — your height, voice, background, or even your job — and brings it up in public, it’s not by accident. It’s a way to make you feel exposed while they get to play it off as casual conversation. A true friend or supportive person wouldn’t bring up something they know makes you uncomfortable. If they do, it’s about power, not connection.

15. Acting like they tolerate you instead of valuing you

Some people try to make themselves look important by treating everyone like a charity case. “I guess I can invite you,” or “We let you tag along,” makes it seem like they’re doing you a favour rather than genuinely valuing your presence. True confidence doesn’t come from making other people feel like they’re lucky to be included. It comes from treating people as equals, not accessories.