We all come across toxic behaviours at some point, whether it’s in friendships, relationships, or even at work.
No one is perfect, of course, but some patterns can be mentally draining and leave you feeling exhausted, frustrated, and just fed up. The easiest way to protect your peace is recognising toxic traits early and know when you step back before they take a toll on your mental health. Obviously, you should surround yourself with positive, supportive people, but you should also avoid spending time with people who act in ways that cause unnecessary stress and drama. If you want to stay sane, avoid people with these qualities.
1. Constant negativity
Some people seem to find the worst in everything. No matter how good a situation is, they’ll complain, criticise, or predict disaster. They suck the energy out of a room with their endless pessimism and rarely have anything encouraging to say.
Spending too much time around constant negativity can weigh you down, making it harder to stay optimistic. It’s one thing to be supportive when someone is struggling, but if someone refuses to see any good in life and just wants to complain, it might be time to set some boundaries.
2. Passive-aggressiveness
Passive-aggressive people don’t say what they really mean. Instead, they make sarcastic remarks, give the silent treatment, or leave vague, guilt-tripping comments to make you guess what’s wrong. That kind of behaviour makes communication feel like a frustrating guessing game.
Healthy relationships thrive on honesty. If someone refuses to be upfront about what’s bothering them and expects you to read their mind, it can be emotionally draining. The best way to handle this? Make it clear that open, direct communication is the only kind you’re interested in.
3. Playing the victim in every situation
We all go through hard times, but some people refuse to take responsibility for anything. They twist every situation to make themselves look like the victim, no matter what actually happened.
If someone constantly passes the blame, refuses to own up to mistakes, or expects endless sympathy while never doing anything to change their circumstances, it can be emotionally exhausting. You can offer support, but you don’t have to carry someone else’s problems on your back.
4. Manipulation
Manipulative people know how to twist situations to get what they want. Whether it’s using guilt, playing mind games, or making you question your own judgement, their behaviour can be incredibly toxic.
If you often feel pressured or guilty around someone, it’s a red flag. Trust your gut—if something feels off, it probably is. The best way to handle a manipulator is to set firm boundaries and refuse to be guilt-tripped into doing things that make you uncomfortable.
5. Jealousy and envy
It’s normal to feel a little jealous sometimes, but when someone can’t be happy for other people and constantly compares themselves to everyone around them, it creates a toxic energy.
True confidence means celebrating other people’s wins instead of feeling threatened by them. If someone always makes everything about competition or secretly hopes for everyone else to fail, their insecurity can quickly become exhausting to be around.
6. The need to control everything
Some people just can’t go with the flow. They have to control every situation, micromanage every detail, and get frustrated when things don’t go exactly their way.
While having structure is great, constantly needing to be in control is exhausting for both the person and everyone around them. It’s okay to let things unfold naturally, and learning to let go of the need to control everything can actually make life feel a lot lighter.
7. Gossiping about everyone
People who love to gossip are usually looking for attention or validation, but their constant trash-talking can create a toxic environment. They’ll spill everyone’s secrets, stir up drama, and make a habit of talking about people behind their backs.
The real problem? If someone gossips to you, they’re probably gossiping about you, too. It’s best to avoid getting caught up in it. If someone can’t find anything better to talk about, that says more about them than the people they’re criticising.
8. Never apologising, even when they’re clearly in the wrong
Some people just can’t admit when they’re wrong. Instead of taking responsibility, they’ll make excuses, shift blame, or even act like you’re the problem for bringing it up.
Genuine relationships require accountability. If someone refuses to apologise or always acts like they’re right no matter what, it’s a sign that they’re not interested in healthy communication. Save your energy for people who can own their mistakes and work through conflicts like adults.
9. Making everything a competition
There’s a difference between healthy ambition and constantly one-upping people. Some people turn every conversation into a competition, making sure their story is bigger, better, or more dramatic.
Life isn’t a race, and real confidence doesn’t come from proving you’re better than everyone else. If someone constantly tries to outshine other people, it’s usually a sign of deep insecurity.
10. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is when someone makes you doubt your own memories, feelings, or reality. They might say, “That never happened,” or “You’re being dramatic,” even when you know you’re not.
If someone constantly dismisses your feelings or twists the truth to make you feel like you’re losing your mind, it’s a major red flag. Trust your instincts and distance yourself from people who refuse to acknowledge your perspective.
11. Expecting you to always give, but never giving back
Some relationships feel one-sided, where one person does all the giving while the other just takes. They expect your time, energy, and support but never return the favour.
Friendships and relationships should be about balance. If someone only reaches out when they need something but disappears when you need support, it might be time to rethink how much energy you’re giving them.
12. Creating unnecessary drama
Some people just love chaos. Whether they’re always in the middle of an argument, stirring up problems, or turning small issues into huge conflicts, they thrive on drama.
Drama drains your energy and creates stress that you don’t need. The best way to handle it? Step back, set boundaries, and refuse to engage in unnecessary drama. Life is too short for constant chaos.
13. Never respecting boundaries
When you set a boundary, a respectful person will understand. A toxic person will test, push, or completely ignore it. They’ll overstep, guilt-trip, or act offended when you say no.
Boundaries are there to protect your well-being, and setting them isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. If someone repeatedly ignores or disrespects yours, it’s a sign they don’t value your needs, and that’s not someone you need in your life.
