When someone opens up about a traumatic experience they’ve had, it’s important to treat that with the respect and care it deserves.
You might not always have the right words. After all, depending on what they’ve been through, it might be that there are no right words. However, there are things you can say to express your appreciation for their willingness to share with you, acknowledgement of their resilience and ability to overcome hard things, and support for them, no matter what. Which of these is right for your particular circumstance will depend on the situation, but the other person will no doubt feel comforted by such a thoughtful, caring response.
1. “Thank you for trusting me with this.”
When someone confides in you, recognising their trust can set the tone for the entire conversation. This one acknowledges the effort it took for them to open up and assures them that their vulnerability is respected. It’s a way of saying, “You’ve chosen the right person to talk to.” Showing some gratitude also makes them feel valued. It reminds them that their feelings and experiences are important to you and that you’re willing to hold space for them without judgement or dismissal.
2. “I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you.”
One of the most supportive things you can do is acknowledge their pain without trying to minimise it. This one avoids making assumptions about their experience and shows that you’re listening. It’s a way of saying, “Your feelings are valid, and I respect your perspective.” When you admit that you might not fully understand their pain, it shows humility and empathy. It also leaves room for them to share more, knowing that you’re ready to listen without claiming to have all the answers.
3. “It’s okay to feel however you’re feeling right now.”
People often feel self-conscious about their emotions, worrying they’re being too dramatic or overreacting. Reassuring them that their feelings are valid allows them to express themselves freely. It lets them know there’s no “wrong” way to feel in the moment. Saying this encourages them to process their emotions without judgement. By creating a non-judgemental space, you help them feel safe to share more, which can be a crucial step toward healing.
4. “Do you want to talk more about it?”
Sometimes, people need a gentle invitation to continue sharing. Asking this question shows that you’re open to listening, without pressuring them to dive deeper if they’re not ready. It’s a way of respecting their boundaries while still offering support. When you leave the decision up to them, it gives them control over how much they want to share. When you approach the situation this way, it helps build trust and ensures they feel comfortable throughout the conversation.
5. “I’m here for you, no matter what.”
When someone is struggling, knowing they have a dependable source of support can be incredibly comforting. This reinforces that you’re willing to stand by them through thick and thin, even if they’re feeling at their lowest. Offering unwavering support reminds them that they don’t have to face their challenges alone. It’s a simple but meaningful way to show that you genuinely care and are committed to being there for them.
6. “Take your time — I’m here to listen.”
Sharing painful experiences can be overwhelming, and people might need time to process their thoughts before speaking. Letting them know there’s no rush allows them to gather their emotions and feel more at ease. It also shows that you’re patient and genuinely invested in what they have to say. This one creates a sense of calm in what might otherwise feel like a high-pressure moment. By prioritising their comfort, you make it easier for them to open up in their own way.
7. “How can I support you right now?”
Instead of assuming what they need, this question puts the focus on their preferences. Some people might want advice, while others may just need someone to sit with them quietly. Asking how you can help shows that you’re prioritising their needs rather than imposing your own solutions. It also encourages them to think about what would make them feel supported, giving them a sense of control in an otherwise difficult situation. Offering tailored support strengthens your connection and makes your presence even more meaningful.
8. “You’ve been through so much — it’s okay to feel this way.”
Acknowledging the weight of their experiences validates their emotions and reassures them that their feelings are natural. This helps combat any internalised shame or guilt they might feel about their reactions. Normalising their emotions creates a safe environment for them to process what they’re going through. It’s a reminder that their pain is real and doesn’t need to be minimised or dismissed.
9. “You’re really brave for sharing this with me.”
Opening up about something painful takes courage, and recognising that effort can make someone feel more confident in their vulnerability. This one reframes their sharing as an act of strength rather than weakness. Celebrating their bravery also encourages them to continue being open. It shows that you value their honesty and respect the effort it took for them to trust you with their story.
10. “I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this.”
Sometimes, a simple expression of sympathy can mean the most. This acknowledges the difficulty of their experience without trying to offer solutions or diminish their pain. It’s a way of showing compassion and genuine care for what they’ve endured. Offering this kind of heartfelt apology is often enough to make someone feel seen and heard. It creates a space where they know their struggles are acknowledged and respected.
11. “What you’re feeling makes total sense.”
When someone is going through a hard time, they might question whether their emotions are justified. Reassuring them that their feelings are valid can help ease this self-doubt. It’s a way of grounding them in their reality without judgement. This affirms their experience, letting them know it’s okay to feel exactly how they’re feeling. It helps them embrace their emotions as part of the healing process.
12. “Thank you for being so open with me.”
When someone shares something deeply personal, acknowledging their openness strengthens your connection. This shows your appreciation for their trust and encourages ongoing honesty in your relationship. Gratitude also reinforces that you’re a safe and supportive person to talk to. It creates a foundation of mutual respect and understanding, which can be especially important during difficult conversations.
13. “It’s okay if you’re not ready to talk more about it.”
Sometimes, people might share a little but not feel ready to dive deeper. Reassuring them that it’s okay to set their own pace respects their boundaries and emotional process. It also lets them know that you won’t push them to share more than they’re comfortable with. This allows them to feel in control of the conversation, which can be empowering during a time when they might otherwise feel vulnerable.
14. “You don’t have to figure it all out right now.”
The pressure to find immediate solutions can add to someone’s stress when they’re already overwhelmed. Reassuring them that it’s okay to take things one step at a time can bring comfort and relief. This helps them focus on the present moment rather than becoming consumed by what lies ahead. It encourages them to approach their situation with patience and self-compassion.
15. “I admire how you’re handling this.”
Even when someone feels like they’re struggling, pointing out their resilience can offer a much-needed boost of encouragement. This points out their strength and helps them see themselves in a more positive light. Recognising their efforts reminds them that they’re doing their best, even if it doesn’t always feel that way. It’s a meaningful way to provide reassurance and support.
16. “I’ll be here whenever you need me.”
Sometimes, the most comforting thing you can do is remind them of your ongoing presence. This shows that your support isn’t limited to this one conversation; it’s something they can count on moving forward. Knowing they have someone to rely on provides stability and reassurance, making their struggles feel a little less heavy. It’s a great way to show genuine care and commitment.
