There’s nothing more frustrating than being criticised out of nowhere, especially when it’s unfair, unkind, or just plain unnecessary.
Whether it’s a backhanded comment, an unsolicited opinion, or someone projecting their own stuff onto you, these moments can really throw you off. However, you don’t have to shrink or snap. Sometimes, all it takes is a calm, well-placed response to hold your ground without losing your cool. Here are some things to say when someone criticises you for no reason—things that help you stay steady, clear, and in control.
1. “Is there a reason you felt the need to say that?”
This one puts the responsibility back on them without making you sound defensive. It’s a calm way of pointing out that their comment might’ve been unnecessary, without starting a full-blown argument.
Sometimes people say things without realising how harsh or unhelpful they’re being, and asking this question makes them pause and reflect. It shifts the moment from you feeling small to them having to justify why they went there in the first place.
2. “That felt more like a dig than feedback.”
It’s one thing to offer helpful advice. It’s another to throw in a passive-aggressive comment and call it “just being honest.” When you say this, you’re calmly calling out tone and intent without escalating the conversation. It lets you stay grounded while making it clear you’re not here to be picked apart. It often makes the other person realise they’ve crossed a line, even if they weren’t expecting to be called out on it.
3. “You’re allowed your opinion, but I don’t agree with it.”
This keeps things neutral. It acknowledges their right to have an opinion without agreeing to take it on as your own. It also avoids turning it into a debate, which helps you stay calm and move on. People who criticise without reason often thrive on pulling you into a defensive spiral. This shuts that down gently but firmly. It says, “I’m not going to fight you, but I’m also not buying into what you’re saying.”
4. “That’s not helpful. Is there a better way you could’ve said that?”
Sometimes people hide behind the excuse of being ‘blunt’ or ‘direct’ when they’re really just being harsh. This response challenges that by holding them accountable for how their words come across. You’re not shutting them down completely; you’re inviting them to think about tone and intention. And often, when people have to reframe what they’ve said, they realise just how unnecessary it was to begin with.
5. “I’m not taking that on right now.”
Short, clear, and powerful. This is especially useful when you’re being bombarded or caught off guard. You’re not explaining, defending, or justifying—you’re setting a clear boundary in one sentence. Sometimes the best way to deal with criticism is to not engage with it at all. This line lets you step back without seeming combative, and it reminds people that you get to decide what you internalise, not them.
6. “That actually says more about you than me.”
This is a quiet mic-drop kind of line. It shifts the energy instantly and reminds the other person that their criticism might have more to do with their own projections, insecurities, or unresolved stuff. It’s not confrontational, but it does invite some self-reflection on their part, whether they admit it or not. It’s a way of protecting your own peace while gently exposing the real issue at play.
7. “I didn’t ask for feedback on that.”
This is a confident way of drawing a line. It’s not rude or aggressive; it just makes it clear that their opinion wasn’t invited or necessary. And most of the time, that’s all it takes to get someone to back off. Unsolicited criticism often comes from people who assume you’re open to their input, no matter how it’s delivered. This reminds them—and maybe even you—that you get to choose when and from whom you receive feedback.
8. “Interesting. I’m going to keep doing it my way.”
When someone throws a judgmental comment your way, responding with casual confidence is one of the most disarming things you can do. It says you’re not shaken, and that you don’t need their approval to keep going. It’s a good line to use when you genuinely don’t want to engage in an argument but still want to stand your ground. Sometimes not giving someone your energy is the best response of all.
9. “It sounds like you’re in a mood. Want to talk about what’s really going on?”
This one only works if you feel safe and steady enough to use a little humour or light sarcasm. It takes the sting out of the criticism by pointing out that it might not be about you at all. It works especially well with people who know you well but are lashing out. It turns the moment into an opportunity for connection, rather than letting it spiral into a defensive back-and-forth.
10. “That’s not something I’m going to entertain.”
Simple, firm, and final. This one is especially useful when someone’s being rude, petty, or pushing boundaries that don’t need to be crossed. You’re shutting down the conversation with clarity and strength. It works because it doesn’t invite argument. It doesn’t need an explanation. It says you’re not here for drama, and you’re not going to waste time engaging with energy that doesn’t serve you.
11. “Let’s stick to things that actually matter.”
This is a great redirect when someone starts nitpicking or offering unnecessary critique just to feel superior. You’re not calling them out aggressively, but you’re refocusing the conversation on what’s actually relevant. Sometimes people criticise to distract from their own discomfort or insecurity. Bringing the focus back to what’s important helps you stay in control, and makes their comments feel as trivial as they actually are.
12. “You’re allowed to feel that way. I just don’t share the view.”
This is a gentle way of disagreeing that still holds your boundary. It works well when you want to stay calm and composed without absorbing someone else’s negativity. It also stops the need for convincing. You’re not here to change their mind, and you’re not letting them change yours, either. You’re letting the disagreement sit without letting it steal your peace.
13. “I’m not sure where that’s coming from, but it felt unnecessary.”
This is a thoughtful way to give someone the benefit of the doubt while still making it clear their comment was off. It opens the door for them to clarify or backtrack, without letting it slide completely. It’s the kind of response that keeps your side of the street clean. You’re staying calm, staying kind, but not letting someone walk all over you in the process.
14. “Noted. Let’s move on.”
This is ideal for those moments where you want to end the conversation without giving it too much energy. You’re acknowledging the comment without validating it, and making it clear that you’re done with it. It’s short, sharp, and very effective when someone’s fishing for a reaction. Sometimes the best way to hold your power is to stop giving nonsense any airtime.
15. “If that was meant to be helpful, it missed the mark.”
This one is calm but pointed. You’re assuming positive intent, sort of, but still making it clear that their comment didn’t land well. It’s a soft call-out with a backbone. It works best when you want to give someone a chance to course-correct. Maybe they were trying to help. Maybe they weren’t. Either way, you’re not pretending it didn’t sting.
16. “I’m okay with who I am, even if you’re not.”
This is the kind of thing you say when you’re done trying to please everyone. It’s not said with attitude, but with clarity. You’ve done the work to like yourself, and that matters more than someone else’s uninvited opinion. People who criticise others for no reason often do it to feel powerful. This response shows them they have no power over you. You’re rooted in your own sense of self, and nothing they say can shake that now.
