Loneliness can be stifling, sitting on your chest like a heavy weight that’s impossible to shift.
It creeps in, makes everything seem a little greyer, and can leave you feeling trapped in your own mind. When it feels suffocating, it’s easy to believe you’re completely alone — but you’re not. Here are a few important things to keep in mind when that isolation and disconnection feels overwhelming. (And, as always, if you’re truly struggling and need someone to talk to right now, Samaritans is open 24/7 and can be reached at 116 123.)
1. Loneliness doesn’t mean you’re broken.
Feeling lonely can make you think there’s something wrong with you. But loneliness is a universal human experience. It doesn’t mean you’re flawed or failing; it just means you need connection, which is completely normal. Reminding yourself that loneliness is a common feeling helps take away some of the shame or guilt you might be carrying.
2. You’re not as alone as you think.
When loneliness hits hard, it’s easy to believe no one understands or cares. But chances are, there are people in your life who would love to hear from you. You might need to take the first step and reach out, even if it feels difficult. Remember that connection often starts with a simple message, call, or shared moment.
3. It’s okay to admit you’re lonely.
Sometimes, we try to hide our loneliness because we’re afraid of looking weak. But admitting you’re lonely doesn’t make you weak — it makes you human. Talking about how you feel with someone you trust can be incredibly freeing. Opening up gives people the chance to support you, and you might be surprised at how much lighter you feel afterward.
4. Your feelings are valid.
Don’t dismiss your loneliness or tell yourself you’re overreacting. Your feelings are real and deserve to be acknowledged. It’s okay to feel lonely, even if your life looks fine on the outside. Allowing yourself to feel without judgment is the first step toward understanding and easing that loneliness.
5. Small connections matter.
When you’re lonely, you might feel like only deep, meaningful relationships count. But sometimes, small interactions can provide relief, too. A quick chat with a neighbour, a smile from a stranger, or a brief conversation with a barista can remind you that you’re still connected to the world. These tiny moments of connection can help bridge the gap while you work on deeper relationships.
6. Loneliness doesn’t define your worth.
It’s easy to let loneliness chip away at your self-esteem. You might think that if you were more interesting, lovable, or successful, you wouldn’t feel this way. But your worth isn’t tied to your social life. You are valuable and deserving of love, no matter how isolated you feel right now.
7. Being alone and feeling lonely are different things.
Spending time alone doesn’t automatically mean you’re lonely. In fact, learning to enjoy your own company can help ease loneliness. Try to find activities you love doing solo, like reading, painting, or walking. Enjoying time with yourself can build confidence and remind you that you don’t need constant company to feel fulfilled.
8. Reaching out doesn’t make you a burden.
When you’re feeling lonely, you might worry that reaching out will bother people. But true friends and caring family members want to hear from you. Letting someone know you need a chat, a walk, or just some company isn’t being needy — it’s being honest. Chances are, they’ll be glad you trusted them enough to reach out.
9. Social media isn’t always reality.
Scrolling through social media can make loneliness worse, especially when it seems like everyone else is living their best life. But remember, social media is a highlight reel, not the full picture. Everyone has moments of loneliness, doubt, and struggle, even if they don’t post about it. Comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlights is never fair.
10. Movement and fresh air can help.
When loneliness feels suffocating, getting out of the house and moving your body can help shift your mindset. A walk outside, a jog, or even stretching in your living room can clear some mental fog. Being in nature or simply breathing fresh air can remind you that there’s a world beyond your current feelings, and you’re still a part of it.
11. Volunteering can create connection.
Helping other people is a great way to combat loneliness, even if it’s the last thing you want to do right now. Volunteering gives you a sense of purpose and puts you in contact with people who share your values. Whether it’s helping at a food bank, walking dogs at a shelter, or mentoring someone, giving your time can create genuine connections. It’s a reminder that you have something valuable to offer.
12. Creative outlets can ease the pressure.
When words fail or reaching out feels too hard, expressing yourself creatively can help. Drawing, writing, playing music, or even cooking can give you an outlet for your feelings. These activities help you process emotions and provide a sense of accomplishment. Sometimes, getting lost in a creative project can ease loneliness, even if just for a little while.
13. This feeling won’t last forever.
Loneliness can feel endless when you’re in the thick of it. But like all emotions, it’s temporary. Life changes, and so do your circumstances. The connections you crave are still possible, even if they’re not here right now. Trust that things can and will get better — because they really can.
