If you’re single, you probably already know the drill like the back of your hand.
People mean well—or at least they think they do—but the questions start to pile up like you’re some kind of puzzle waiting to be solved. You might laugh, nod, or play it cool, but deep down, there’s a part of you that’s just… over it. Whether it’s nosy curiosity, subtle judgement, or well-meaning meddling, these are the questions single people get asked constantly, which inevitably lead to a major eye-roll.
1. “Why are you still single?”
This one somehow manages to sound like a compliment and a critique all at once. The implication is that if you’re great, you must be doing something wrong to still be solo. It overlooks the idea that maybe, just maybe, you’re single on purpose—or that life just hasn’t lined up that way yet.
What people don’t realise is that this question can make someone feel like they’re under review. It turns their relationship status into a mystery to be solved, when in reality, it might just be their life moving at its own pace.
2. “Have you tried dating apps?”
As if dating apps are some magical portal that instantly solves everything. It’s a fair question these days, sure, but also one that assumes you haven’t already scrolled, swiped, deleted, re-downloaded, and raged your way through all of them. Most single people have tried apps. The issue isn’t always access—it’s emotional bandwidth, timing, or just not wanting to treat dating like an endless admin task. It’s not always about effort. Sometimes it’s just about peace.
3. “Don’t you get lonely?”
Yes, sometimes. Just like people in relationships do. Loneliness doesn’t only show up in solo living. You can be surrounded by people and still feel unseen, unheard, or emotionally out of reach. Single people often know how to fill their own cup. They have strong friendships, meaningful hobbies, and rich inner lives. The assumption that loneliness is the default for single people is way more outdated than most think.
4. “Do you ever think you’re being too picky?”
This one cuts deep because it frames standards as a flaw. Having clarity about what works for you doesn’t mean you’re picky. It means you know yourself. Wanting compatibility isn’t the same as chasing perfection. What people rarely consider is that settling just to avoid being alone doesn’t end well. Being thoughtful about who you let into your life isn’t a character flaw. It’s self-respect.
5. “Have you met anyone new lately?”
Sometimes this is fine, especially if it’s a friend who’s just genuinely curious. However, other times, it starts to feel like a check-in on your progress, as if your worth increases based on how many first dates you’ve clocked in this month. It’s okay to be in a quiet season. Not every month needs to include romantic milestones. Sometimes “nope, still just me” is exactly where you’re supposed to be.
6. “Do you want kids?”
This is such a personal question, and yet it gets thrown out casually like it’s small talk. Whether someone wants kids, doesn’t, or hasn’t decided—it’s not always something they’re up for discussing at brunch or in a meeting room chat. For some, the answer is complicated. For others, it’s clear but private. Either way, it’s not a box you have to tick just because you’re single and of a certain age. Not everyone’s timeline or desires are the same.
7. “Do you ever worry you’ll end up alone?”
This is the one that really stings. It carries this quiet judgement, like your current life is just the warm-up act to something better. It assumes alone = tragic, when in reality, being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. Lots of single people are building rich, meaningful lives—on their terms. Being partnered isn’t the only marker of success, joy, or fulfilment. Plus, there are far worse things than being alone. Like being with the wrong person, for starters.
8. “Do you want me to set you up with someone?”
This can come from a good place, but if it happens constantly, it starts to feel like people see you as a project. Not every single person is waiting to be “fixed” with a match. Sure, a setup can be sweet if it’s thoughtful and not pressured. But most single people aren’t asking to be paired off at every turn. Let them bring it up if they’re interested—otherwise, just leave them be.
9. “Are you sure you’re not just afraid of commitment?”
This one is usually served with a side of smugness, like your independence must be a cover for some unresolved fear. It’s dismissive and reduces a whole life down to one narrow lens. Plenty of single people are more emotionally mature and reflective than folks who jump from one relationship to the next. Choosing to stay single doesn’t mean you’re scared. It might mean you’re being more intentional than most.
10. “What happened with that last person you were seeing?”
Sometimes, people want the tea. But other times, they’re fishing for signs that you’re “doing the work” to get partnered up. This question can drag up old stuff you’d rather leave in the past, or just not dissect in public. It’s okay to keep those stories for yourself. Not every dating chapter needs to be debriefed or validated by someone else. Some things end, and that’s all there is to it.
11. “Don’t you want someone to take care of you?”
This one is wrapped in outdated gender norms and the idea that single people are somehow incomplete. The idea that care has to come from a partner is narrow—and kind of dismissive of all the other ways people are loved and supported. Single people take care of themselves. Their friends take care of them. Their chosen family shows up. Care doesn’t have to come wrapped in a romantic label to count.
12. “What are you even looking for?”
This question often comes off like an interrogation, like you’re expected to hand over a fully-formed strategy for finding The One. Of course, most people don’t have a perfect checklist—and even if they do, it’s allowed to change. You can be single and still figuring it out. You can want love and not have a detailed plan. You can take your time, and you don’t owe anyone a blueprint just to justify why you’re not partnered yet.
13. “You’ll meet someone when you least expect it, right?”
Ah yes, the magical myth that love only shows up when you stop wanting it. This line is meant to be comforting, but it often feels like a subtle way of saying, “You’re trying too hard.” The truth is, some people meet their person while actively dating, others when they’re not even thinking about it. There’s no formula—and no, hoping for love doesn’t mean you’re desperate. It just means you’re human.
14. “Are you happy like this?”
This one sounds like concern, but often carries doubt. The idea that your happiness must be lacking just because you don’t have a partner is everywhere, but that doesn’t make it true. Happiness isn’t reserved for couples. It’s built in all kinds of ways. Single people laugh, cry, dance, build, travel, rest, and love—just like anyone else. You don’t need a plus-one to live a whole, beautiful life.
