We all know someone who seems to exist in their own little bubble.
Their opinions matter most, their stories dominate, and other people are basically just extras in the background of their life. Self-absorbed people don’t always realise how off-putting their behaviour is, but to everyone around them, it’s frustratingly obvious. These behaviours might be subtle or glaringly loud, but as time goes on, they inevitably wear down patience, connection, and mutual respect. Here are some things self-absorbed people do that quietly (or not-so-quietly) irritate everyone around them.
1. They always bring the conversation back to themselves.
You could be telling a story about your terrible week at work, and somehow it becomes a segue for them to talk about their own stress—again. Everything is an opportunity for them to re-centre the spotlight. People start to notice the pattern. No matter what’s going on, it always loops back to them. It leaves people feeling unheard and strangely invisible in conversations that were supposed to be mutual.
2. They only listen to respond, not to understand.
They might nod while you’re talking, but their mind is clearly elsewhere—usually already crafting their next reply. They’re not really taking in what you’re saying, just waiting for their turn to jump in. That surface-level listening makes conversations feel one-sided. People walk away feeling like they spoke to a wall, not a person who genuinely cared about what was shared.
3. They dominate every group setting.
In group chats or hangouts, they always take centre stage. Their voice is the loudest, their opinions the longest, and somehow they find a way to make every topic revolve around their experience. It’s exhausting for people who’d like a chance to speak or just enjoy a bit of balance. After a while, people tune them out, or avoid inviting them altogether.
4. They rarely ask questions about other people.
When was the last time they asked you how you were doing and actually stuck around for the answer? Self-absorbed people tend to skip the “you” part of relationships altogether. They’re so focused on what they’re going through that they forget—other people are full human beings with stories too. Their lack of curiosity makes them feel emotionally unavailable, even when they’re physically present.
5. They fish for compliments constantly.
They’ll make self-deprecating comments just to get reassured, or dramatically downplay something just to be praised. It’s not that they’re insecure—they want attention, and they know how to get it. At first, you might indulge them, but after a while, it becomes tiring. Conversations start to feel like performances where your role is just to applaud.
6. They treat other people’s boundaries as optional.
If something doesn’t fit their plan or preference, they’ll push back—hard. They’ll act inconvenienced or try to guilt you for saying no because to them, your boundary is just an obstacle in the way of what they want. This makes people feel disrespected. It’s not just annoying—it quietly erodes trust and safety in the relationship.
7. They make everything about how it affects them.
You could be telling them about your breakup, and their response will somehow centre around how your breakup is affecting them. Or, how they “knew this would happen” and now feel caught in the middle. There’s always a way they twist it. Even your most personal moments become their emotional subplot, which makes it really hard to feel seen or supported.
8. They dismiss opinions that don’t match theirs.
Disagree with them? Suddenly, you’re “wrong,” “too sensitive,” or “don’t get it.” Self-absorbed people don’t handle differing views well because they see disagreement as a personal threat, not a normal part of life. This can make conversations tense and exhausting. People stop being honest around them just to avoid the emotional blowback.
9. They over-explain their own problems but downplay yours.
When they’re upset, they want full attention, sympathy, and understanding. However, when you’re going through something? Suddenly, it’s “not that bad” or “you’ll be fine.” It’s not that they don’t care—they just can’t stretch their empathy that far. Their emotional range tends to centre tightly around their own experience.
10. They always have to be the exception.
Rules are fine—for other people. They’ll show up late, ignore instructions, or expect special treatment because they believe the usual standards don’t apply to them. This sense of entitlement might be subtle, but it builds resentment. No one likes the person who thinks they’re too important to play by the same rules as everyone else.
11. They can’t handle not being the centre of attention.
Whether it’s someone else getting praise, having a big moment, or simply getting more attention for once—it bothers them. Even if they don’t say it out loud, their energy changes when the focus isn’t on them. They might try to reclaim the spotlight with a dramatic story, a bold opinion, or a “coincidental” crisis. It’s subtle, but you feel it—the discomfort when someone else takes up space.
12. They give advice no one asked for.
Even when you’re just venting, they jump in with unsolicited solutions. It’s less about helping and more about showing how smart or experienced they are. It often leaves people feeling unheard. Sometimes you just need empathy—not a fix, and definitely not a lecture.
13. They struggle to apologise without excuses.
If they ever do say sorry, it’s usually followed by a long explanation about why they did what they did. The focus moves from the hurt they caused to how misunderstood they feel. This makes their apologies feel hollow. People don’t feel genuinely acknowledged—just managed or pacified.
14. They interrupt with stories that one-up yours.
You’re telling a story about something that happened, and halfway through, they jump in with, “That reminds me of the time I…”—and suddenly, it’s their story now. It’s not just annoying—it kills the flow of connection. You feel talked over, like your experience was just a warm-up act for theirs.
15. They rarely express gratitude.
Whether you did them a favour, planned something thoughtful, or just listened when they needed it—they rarely say thank you. Or if they do, it’s quick and forgettable. In the long run, this lack of appreciation chips away at goodwill. People stop going the extra mile when it’s never noticed—or worse, expected without question.
