Anxiety isn’t just feeling nervous or uptight sometimes.
For those who suffer from an excess of it, anxiety is a constant feeling of heaviness that can feel like it’s crushing all the air out of your lungs. It can make you fear things you normally wouldn’t be afraid of, or convince yourself that things that clearly aren’t true really are. For those who suffer from it, you know just how tough it can be, especially when other people don’t understand how you’re really feeling. Here are a few things those with anxiety wish they could say to those who don’t have it.
1. “We’re not just overthinking — it’s a full-on mental battle.”
It’s easy to say, “Stop overthinking,” but anxiety isn’t a switch that can be turned off. For someone with anxiety, their mind can feel like a battlefield of thoughts, doubts, and what-ifs. Even simple decisions can spiral into exhausting internal debates. It’s not a choice; it’s a challenge.
2. “Cancelling plans isn’t personal — sometimes we just can’t cope.”
When someone with anxiety cancels plans, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. Sometimes, the thought of socialising feels overwhelming. It’s not about avoiding people — it’s about managing their own mental state. A little understanding makes a big difference.
3. “We’re aware we worry too much — pointing it out doesn’t help.”
Trust us, people with anxiety *know* they worry more than they should. Telling them to “calm down” or “stop stressing” can make them feel worse. They’re not looking for solutions; they’re looking for someone to say, “I get it, and it’s okay.”
4. “Unexpected changes can be really tough to handle.”
Spontaneity sounds fun to most people, but for those with anxiety, sudden changes in plans can be stressful. They often need time to mentally prepare for events or activities. A last-minute shift can feel like their world is being turned upside down.
5. “Anxiety doesn’t always look like panic attacks.”
Anxiety isn’t just hyperventilating or shaking. It can be silent and invisible — like a racing heart, sweaty palms, or intrusive thoughts. Just because someone looks calm doesn’t mean they’re not battling anxiety beneath the surface. Sometimes, it’s a fight no one can see.
6. “We replay conversations and worry we said the wrong thing.”
After socialising, people with anxiety often replay the conversation, picking apart every word they said. Did they offend someone? Did they sound weird? These worries can keep them up at night. A bit of reassurance can go a long way.
7. “We’re not trying to be difficult — we’re just overwhelmed.”
Sometimes, anxiety makes even simple tasks feel like climbing a mountain. If they seem indecisive or hesitant, it’s not because they’re being difficult. They’re just managing the overwhelm in their head. Patience and understanding help more than you know.
8. “Small things can feel like big things.”
What seems minor to you might feel monumental to someone with anxiety. Sending an email, making a phone call, or attending a meeting can trigger intense worry. It’s not about being dramatic — it’s just how their brain processes these situations.
9. “Sometimes we just need reassurance — even if it’s repetitive.”
Asking, “Are you sure?” a few times might seem annoying, but it’s a way to calm their anxious thoughts. Reassurance helps anchor them when their mind is running wild. Knowing you’re there to support them provides comfort and stability.
10. “We’re not being rude — we’re just in our heads.”
If someone with anxiety seems distant or distracted, they’re probably caught up in their own thoughts. It’s not because they’re ignoring you or don’t care. A simple “Hey, you okay?” can gently pull them back to the moment without judgment.
11. “Anxiety can be exhausting.”
Living with anxiety can feel like running a marathon every day — mentally and emotionally. Even if they haven’t “done much,” they might feel wiped out. They’re not being lazy; they’re managing an invisible load that drains their energy.
12. “Sometimes, we can’t explain why we’re anxious.”
Anxiety doesn’t always come with a clear reason. Sometimes, it just shows up uninvited. Asking, “What are you anxious about?” might not get a clear answer. Just being there, even when they can’t explain it, is incredibly supportive.
13. “We appreciate the little gestures more than you know.”
A kind word, a reassuring smile, or a simple “I’m here for you” can mean the world to someone with anxiety. These small gestures remind them they’re not alone. You don’t have to fix anything — just being there helps more than you realise.
14. “We’re stronger than we look.”
Living with anxiety means facing fears and worries every day. It might not seem like it, but people with anxiety are incredibly resilient. They keep going, even when their mind is telling them to stop. They’re not fragile — they’re quietly fighting battles you can’t always see.
