Perfectionism doesn’t always mean obsessing over the tiniest details or refusing to settle for anything less than flawless.
For a lot of people, it’s a quiet, internal battle—one they don’t talk about but that affects almost everything they do. Some perfectionists don’t even realise they’re one because they don’t see themselves as perfect enough to claim the title. Instead, they just feel an endless pressure to do better, try harder, and never let anyone down. Nevertheless, here are some things people who secretly struggle with perfectionism always do.
1. They downplay their achievements.
Even when they accomplish something impressive, perfectionists often struggle to give themselves credit. They might say they just got lucky, that it wasn’t a big deal, or that they could have done it better.
They tend to focus more on what they didn’t do rather than what they did. No matter how well they perform, they believe there’s always something that could have been improved. Instead of celebrating their wins, they immediately start thinking about what they should have done differently.
2. They procrastinate more than you’d expect.
It sounds ironic, but many perfectionists are actually chronic procrastinators. If they don’t think they can do something perfectly, they’ll put it off, sometimes indefinitely.
Instead of starting and risking failure, they’ll wait until they feel ready—which, in their mind, often means until they can guarantee a flawless result. The fear of not getting it just right keeps them stuck. The longer they put things off, the more pressure they feel, creating a cycle that’s hard to break.
3. They take criticism harder than they let on.
Even when they act like feedback doesn’t bother them, perfectionists often take criticism very personally. Instead of seeing it as useful advice, they hear it as confirmation that they’ve failed in some way.
They might replay a critical comment in their head for days, analysing every little thing they did wrong. Even if the feedback is constructive, they take it as a sign that they didn’t meet their impossibly high standards.
4. They overthink even small decisions.
Whether it’s choosing what to write in an email, picking a restaurant, or deciding what to wear, perfectionists can overanalyse even the smallest choices. They don’t want to make the wrong decision, so they go back and forth, weighing every possible outcome.
What seems like an easy choice to other people can feel overwhelming to a perfectionist because they’re constantly trying to get everything just right, even in everyday life. A simple email might take them an hour because they want every word to be perfect.
5. They replay conversations in their heads.
After a conversation, a perfectionist might spend hours or even days thinking about what they said. Did they sound stupid? Did they talk too much? Did they accidentally offend someone?
They analyse every word, tone, and facial expression, convinced that they must have said something wrong. Even if no one else noticed anything off, they can’t stop second-guessing themselves. It’s not uncommon for them to feel embarrassed about something that everyone else forgot about in seconds.
6. They struggle to ask for help.
To a perfectionist, asking for help can feel like admitting defeat. They believe they should be able to figure things out on their own, and needing assistance can feel like proof that they’re not good enough.
Rather than reach out, they’ll often overwork themselves, spending far too much time trying to fix things alone instead of accepting that no one is meant to do everything by themselves. They fear that asking for help will make other people think less of them.
7. They set impossibly high standards for themselves.
Perfectionists don’t just aim high; they set goals that are almost unattainable. While other people might be satisfied with a job well done, they’re chasing flawless results every time.
Even when they accomplish something impressive, it doesn’t feel like enough. They immediately move the goalpost further, convinced they should have done even better. They tend to expect perfection in every area of their life, making it nearly impossible to feel satisfied.
8. They feel guilty for taking breaks.
Relaxing doesn’t come easily to perfectionists. Even when they take time off, they feel like they should be doing something productive.
Instead of enjoying a break, they often sit there thinking about all the things they could or should be doing instead. They struggle to truly rest because their mind is always on the next task. Even hobbies and downtime can feel like things they need to be productive at.
9. They struggle to finish things.
Many perfectionists have a hard time actually completing projects. They’ll keep tweaking, refining, and second-guessing their work, convinced it’s not ready yet.
What might be done for most people still feels incomplete to a perfectionist. They often have drafts, projects, or ideas sitting unfinished because they don’t think they’re good enough to put out into the world. They’d rather never finish something than risk it not being perfect.
10. They compare themselves to other people constantly.
Perfectionists are always measuring themselves against other people—often people they admire or view as more successful. No matter what they achieve, they can’t help but focus on someone who seems to be doing even better.
They rarely stop to acknowledge how far they’ve come because they’re too busy thinking about how much further they should be. Even when they’re doing well, they’ll find someone who seems to be doing better and feel like they’re falling behind.
11. They take on more than they can handle.
Because perfectionists want to prove themselves, they often struggle to say no. They take on more responsibilities than they can realistically handle because they don’t want to disappoint anyone.
They often push themselves to exhaustion, convinced that if they work hard enough, they can keep up with all the expectations they’ve placed on themselves. Even when they’re overwhelmed, they feel guilty turning things down.
12. They struggle to celebrate their successes.
Even when they accomplish something amazing, perfectionists rarely take the time to celebrate. Instead of feeling proud, they immediately think about what they could have done better or what they need to do next.
Success doesn’t feel like a finish line; it just feels like another step in an endless cycle of trying to prove they’re good enough. They move on to the next goal without taking a moment to acknowledge how far they’ve come.
