Gen X didn’t grow up with parenting podcasts, gentle parenting guides, or TikTok therapists offering advice in 30-second soundbites—they had boomers.
Whether it was the good, the bad, or the emotionally complex, Gen X came of age watching how their parents handled life, discipline, emotions, and everything in between. And while they didn’t always agree with what they saw, those early experiences shaped the way they approached raising their own kids, often in quiet, deliberate ways. Here are 13 things Gen X learned from boomers that had a lasting impact on how they raise their own kids.
1. Saying “because I said so” doesn’t build trust.
Gen X heard this phrase on repeat growing up. It shut down questions, ended conversations, and left a lot of things unexplained. As kids, they knew there wasn’t room for discussion, only obedience.
Now, many Gen X parents choose a more open approach. They might still enforce rules, but they’re more likely to explain the why behind them. They want their kids to understand, not just obey, and that change builds stronger, more honest relationships.
2. Emotions weren’t always welcome, so they made space.
For many Gen X kids, emotions like sadness or frustration were quickly shut down. Crying was seen as weakness, anger was punished, and vulnerability wasn’t exactly nurtured. You were expected to “get over it” and move on.
Now that they’re parents, they’re working to unlearn that. Gen X is more likely to validate their kids’ feelings, even if they don’t totally understand them. They’ve seen what bottling it up can do, and they don’t want to pass that down.
3. Being present matters more than performing perfection.
Boomers were often praised for being providers and hard workers, but that came with emotional distance. Many Gen Xers grew up with parents who were physically present but emotionally unavailable, or simply too tired to tune in.
So, they’ve made an effort to show up differently. Even when life is hectic, Gen X parents tend to prioritise quality time, emotional check-ins, and being there in a real way—not just at the dinner table, but in the small day-to-day moments too.
4. Yelling doesn’t actually get the message across.
Discipline in boomer households often leaned on fear—yelling, shaming, or sometimes even physical punishment. Gen X kids learned quickly that staying quiet and out of the way was often safer than speaking up.
Now, they’re breaking that pattern. Many have swapped shouting matches for calmer conversations, focusing on connection instead of control. They’ve seen the long-term impact of fear-based parenting, and they’re doing their best to steer in a different direction.
5. Kids need more than just food and shelter.
Boomers did what they could, and providing for their families was often seen as the ultimate marker of love. But Gen X kids sometimes grew up with a quiet ache. They had their physical needs met, but their emotional ones were often overlooked.
That stuck with them. As parents, they’ve realised that kids need more than the basics. Emotional safety, a sense of belonging, and being listened to are all high on their radar now, not just whether everyone ate dinner and did their homework.
6. Parents don’t have to be the authority on everything.
Boomer parents often felt they had to be the final word, the expert on everything from life choices to how you cut your sandwich. Admitting they didn’t know something wasn’t the norm.
Gen X has taken a different route. They’re okay saying “I don’t know” or learning alongside their kids. That openness models humility and flexibility—two things they didn’t always see growing up but now value deeply in their own parenting style.
7. Apologising to your kid isn’t a weakness.
How many Gen X kids actually heard a sincere apology from a parent growing up? For most, it was rare. Mistakes got swept under the rug, and parents were never in the wrong, even when they clearly were. Now, many Gen X parents are doing the opposite. They apologise when they lose their temper or make a misstep. They know it builds trust and teaches accountability. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being real.
8. Listening is more powerful than lecturing.
Boomer parenting often relied on top-down communication—the classic “listen to me because I’m the adult” approach. There wasn’t much room for kids to share their perspectives, and when they did, it wasn’t always taken seriously.
Gen X, in contrast, listens more. They ask their kids how they’re feeling, what they think, and what they need. Even if they don’t always agree, they give their children a voice, which is something many of them longed for in their own childhoods.
9. Privacy isn’t a threat, it’s a right.
Gen X kids often had little to no privacy. Diaries got read, phone calls were monitored, and the idea of personal space was often ignored in the name of “good parenting.” Boundaries were rarely respected.
Now that they’re raising kids, Gen X tends to take a different approach. They recognise that respecting privacy builds trust, and that trust is more effective than surveillance. Giving space doesn’t mean being uninvolved. It means honouring autonomy.
10. The goal isn’t obedience—it’s connection.
In many boomer homes, a well-behaved child was the gold standard. If you followed the rules and didn’t make waves, you were seen as a “good kid.” Emotions, opinions, or pushback weren’t always welcomed.
Gen X parents are more focused on building a secure relationship than raising a perfectly obedient child. They want their kids to come to them with problems, not hide them out of fear. It’s not about raising rule-followers. It’s about raising humans who feel safe being themselves.
11. Mental health matters, full stop.
When Gen X was growing up, mental health wasn’t exactly dinner table conversation. Therapy was stigmatised, feelings were brushed off, and emotional struggles were often hidden or ignored.
Now, many Gen X parents are working hard to normalise therapy, talk openly about anxiety or depression, and give their kids tools they never had. They know from experience what happens when those conversations don’t happen, and they’re not letting history repeat itself.
12. Kids don’t need perfection—they need consistency.
Boomers sometimes leaned into tough-love parenting with rigid expectations and little emotional room. Gen X watched that and saw how inconsistency—hot one day, cold the next—left kids feeling unsure and disconnected.
In their own parenting, they aim for steadiness. Not perfection, not over-involvement—just consistent love, presence, and boundaries. They know it’s not about doing everything right, but about showing up again and again.
13. You can do things differently and still be a good parent.
Gen X has had to navigate the tension of honouring where they came from while also choosing new ways forward. They may have respect for their Boomer parents but also carry a clear sense of what they want to do differently.
That’s part of the power in how they parent. They’re rewriting patterns, healing wounds, and proving that growth doesn’t mean blame. It just means trying to do better, with love and a little more softness than they were raised with.
