I’ll be honest — I’m not a hugger. I don’t like touchy-feelyness and I prefer people to keep their physical distance, and I know I’m not alone in that.
People who hate being touched may be seen as “weird” or stand-offish, but it’s not that at all. I care deeply about my friends, family members, and partner, and I’m happy to show affection in different ways, but I don’t want people’s hands on me most of the time. For everyone who’s reading this who’s in the same boat, you’ll likely relate to these experiences.
1. It’s awkward when someone goes in for a hug when you’re clearly not feeling it.
Source: Unsplash You see them coming, arms outstretched, and a wave of panic washes over you. You try to subtly dodge the hug, but it’s too late. You’re trapped in an embrace that feels like an eternity, counting down the seconds until you can politely extricate yourself. Awkward smiles and stiff postures ensue.
2. People patting your head or ruffling your hair can feel intrusive and infantilising.
It’s like being treated like a child, and it can be incredibly frustrating, especially for adults. That condescending pat on the head or playful hair ruffle can trigger a visceral reaction, leaving you feeling belittled and annoyed.
3. Being crammed into a crowded lift or public transport can feel like a claustrophobic nightmare.
Source: Unsplash You’re squeezed in like a sardine, surrounded by strangers, with barely any room to breathe. Accidental touches and close proximity become unavoidable, leaving you feeling uncomfortable and longing for escape.
4. Unexpected back pats or shoulder touches can startle and irritate you.
You’re minding your own business when suddenly, BAM! Someone decides to give you an unsolicited pat on the back or a squeeze on the shoulder. It’s jarring and invasive, leaving you feeling violated and on edge.
5. Having to shake hands with strangers or acquaintances can be a dreaded social obligation.
The sweaty palms, the firm grip, the awkward eye contact – it’s all a bit much. For those who prefer to keep their distance, handshakes can feel like an unnecessary invasion of personal space.
6. Getting your hair or makeup done can feel like an uncomfortable ordeal.
Source: Unsplash Having someone fuss over your hair or face, constantly touching and prodding, can be a sensory overload. It’s hard to relax and enjoy the experience when you’re constantly bracing yourself for the next unexpected touch.
7. Being in a crowded queue or concert where accidental bumping and jostling is inevitable can be anxiety-inducing.
Source: Unsplash You’re trying to enjoy the experience, but you’re constantly on edge, anticipating the next accidental bump or brush. You find yourself strategically positioning yourself to minimise contact, but it’s a constant battle.
8. Having someone sit too close to you on a bench or in a waiting room can make you feel uneasy.
You’re trying to enjoy a quiet moment, but someone decides to invade your personal space by sitting uncomfortably close. You subtly shift away, hoping they’ll take the hint, but they remain oblivious, leaving you feeling trapped and irritated.
9. Playing team sports or participating in group activities that involve a lot of physical contact can be a nightmare.
You’re not a fan of high-fives, hugs, or accidental collisions. Team sports or group activities that involve a lot of physical contact can be a source of anxiety and discomfort. You’d much rather cheer from the sidelines or engage in activities that allow you to maintain your personal space.
10. Having someone touch your face or hair without permission is a major no-no.
It’s your body, your rules. Having someone touch your face or hair without asking is a violation of your personal boundaries and can be incredibly upsetting. It’s important to assert yourself and let people know that you’re not comfortable with unsolicited touch.
11. Receiving unwanted massages or back rubs, even with good intentions, can be uncomfortable and awkward.
You appreciate the gesture, but you’d rather not. Unsolicited massages or back rubs, even from well-meaning friends or family members, can feel invasive and awkward. It’s okay to politely decline and express your preference for not being touched.
12. Dancing in crowded clubs or parties where you’re constantly bumping into people can be a sensory overload.
You love the music and the energy, but the constant bumping and grinding can be overwhelming. You find yourself looking for refuge in quieter corners or opting for dance styles that allow you to maintain some personal space.
13. Getting a medical examination or having to undergo a physical therapy session can be anxiety-inducing.
You understand the necessity, but the thought of being poked, prodded, and touched by strangers can trigger anxiety and discomfort. It’s important to communicate your concerns to your healthcare provider and ask for accommodations that can make the experience more comfortable for you.
14. Having to share a bed with someone, even a close partner, can disrupt your sleep and leave you feeling restless.
You love cuddling and intimacy, but you also need your personal space to sleep soundly. Sharing a bed can mean accidental touches, kicks, and duvet hogging, all of which can disrupt your sleep and leave you feeling grumpy and sleep-deprived.
15. Being caught in a group hug or forced to participate in a team-building exercise that involves physical contact can feel like a violation of your personal boundaries.
You’re all for team spirit and camaraderie, but you’d rather express it through words and actions, not forced physical contact. Group hugs and touchy-feely team-building exercises can leave you feeling uncomfortable and longing for an escape route.
