Most people won’t come right out and say they can’t stand you, but the way they talk to you does tend to give it away.
They might make little jabs at you, throw out passive-aggressive comments, or give underhanded compliments. Either way, the words they use reveal how they truly feel about you. If you’ve ever felt like someone wasn’t your biggest fan but weren’t quite sure, consider whether they’ve said these things (or things like this) to you. If so, your hunch might be right.
1. “You’re braver than I am to wear that.”
It might sound like a compliment, but it’s really just a way of having a go at your fashion choices. Instead of admiring your confidence, they’re drawing attention to something they wouldn’t feel comfortable trying themselves. It’s their way of criticizing your style, without coming right out and saying it.
2. “I didn’t expect you to do so well.”
On the surface, this might seem like praise, but it actually reflects how little faith they had in you to begin with. It’s like they’ve set low expectations for you and are now surprised that you exceeded them. Rather than seeing it as a win for you, they’re admitting they never thought you could pull it off.
3. “I guess that’s one way to do it.”
This one is full of passive-aggressive undertones. They’re not really acknowledging your method — they’re more like shrugging it off and implying that it’s unconventional or even wrong. It’s an underhanded jab disguised as neutrality.
4. “You’re lucky that worked out for you.”
They might seem happy for you, but what they’re really doing is diminishing your success. By calling it “luck,” they’re completely disregarding all your effort or skill and suggesting you didn’t earn it. It’s a backhanded way of making your achievement seem less impressive.
5. “I didn’t realise you were into that.”
What sounds like surprise could actually be a veiled criticism. The way it’s phrased makes you feel like they’re judging your interests, as if what you’re into isn’t quite right or is somehow surprising. It’s more about questioning your choices than showing genuine interest.
6. “You’re so much better at that than I thought you’d be.”
At first glance, this might sound complimentary, but it’s really just rooted in doubt. It’s like they’re shocked that you could actually pull something off, which can feel a little patronising. Instead of celebrating your ability, they’re reminding you that they never believed in you to begin with.
7. “Oh, I’ve heard about you.”
This vague statement leaves you wondering what they’ve heard, and from whom. It’s often said with a bit of mystery or a knowing look, suggesting that they’ve been told something negative or unflattering about you. It’s enough to make you feel uneasy, even though they don’t say anything outright.
8. “You must be fun at parties.”
This one’s usually delivered with sarcasm, especially when they think you’re being too serious, quiet, or “out of place.” It’s not about fun — it’s about making you feel awkward. What they really mean is that you’re not fitting their idea of what’s “fun,” which can leave you feeling like you’re being judged.
9. “No offence, but…”
When someone leads with this, you can bet that something offensive is coming next. They’re trying to soften the blow, but still manage to sneak in an insult or criticism. This phrase gives them an out, as though they’re being polite, but it never really works — it just means that they know what they’re about to say might sting.
10. “I wouldn’t have done it that way, but good for you.”
Translation: “I don’t agree with your decision, but I’ll pretend to be supportive anyway.” It sounds like a compliment, but it’s really about subtly undermining your choice without directly saying so. The result is that you’re left wondering whether they really respect your approach or not.
11. “Wow, I could never do that.”
This can sometimes come off as genuine, but more often than not, it’s a judgement in disguise. They’re expressing disbelief at your choices, which can feel more like silent criticism than a compliment. It’s as though they’re questioning your judgement, but don’t want to say it outright.
12. “That’s… different.”
Calling something “different” often means they don’t like it or don’t understand it. The pause before they say “different” is usually the giveaway — the hesitation speaks volumes. It’s a polite way to make you feel like your choices aren’t quite up to par without saying it directly.
13. “Are you sure about that?”
Source: Unsplash When someone asks this, it’s often less about checking in and more about sowing doubt. It’s like they’re questioning your confidence or the validity of your decisions, even if you’re sure of yourself. The comment plants a seed of insecurity, even though they may not intend to.
14. “I don’t mean to be rude, but…”
Source: Unsplash Much like the “no offence” phrase, this is often the precursor to something that’s going to come across as rude. It’s their way of sugarcoating an insult or an unpleasant observation, but it still feels hurtful. They might act as if they’re trying to be polite, but it rarely works that way.
15. “Interesting choice…”
What seems like genuine curiosity is often just code for “I don’t like it.” The word “interesting” is often used as a polite way to express disapproval, especially when someone doesn’t understand or agree with your decision. The trailing pause often makes it clear they’re not exactly impressed.
