Ah, Christmas — the season of family gatherings, festive cheer, and plenty of awkward comments.
We all know the festive season can bring out the best (and occasionally the worst) in family conversations. If you want to keep things merry and bright, so to speak, here are some things you should probably stop saying to your relatives over Christmas. You can hold your tongue just this once!
1. “When are you going to settle down?”
For the love of mince pies, let’s retire this one. Whether they’re single, happily dating, or just not fussed about relationships, asking when someone will settle down adds unnecessary pressure. Life timelines aren’t one-size-fits-all, and being constantly reminded of it isn’t exactly festive.
2. “Still no baby news?”
Asking about children — or the lack thereof — is a minefield. Not everyone wants kids, and some might be struggling privately. This question can hit harder than you realise. Let them enjoy the turkey without being grilled about their reproductive plans.
3. “You’ve put on a bit of weight, haven’t you?”
Yes, Aunt Carol, that’s what happens when Christmas dinner is delicious. Comments about weight, whether gaining or losing, are better left unsaid. People want to enjoy their festive treats without a side serving of body commentary.
4. “So, what exactly do you do for work again?”
If you’re asking this *every single year*, maybe write it down this time. Your relative’s career path is valid, even if you don’t completely understand it. Asking this repeatedly can make them feel like you don’t care or that their job isn’t impressive enough to remember.
5. “You’re not getting any younger, you know.”
Wow, thanks for the reminder. Whether it’s about careers, relationships, or life goals, this comment does nothing but pile on pressure. Trust us — they’re aware of their age. Let them enjoy the moment without a countdown clock ticking in the background.
6. “Remember when you used to be so cute?”
Nostalgia is nice, but implying someone’s lost their charm isn’t. They’re still cute — just in a more grown-up, responsible, probably stressed-out way. Instead, celebrate who they are now, not just who they were as a toddler in reindeer pyjamas.
7. “When are you going to buy a house?”
In today’s market? Let’s be realistic. Buying a home isn’t as straightforward as it used to be. This question often comes across as out of touch or dismissive of the challenges they face. Maybe stick to asking how their year has been instead.
8. “Is that really your career choice?”
Whether they’re an artist, a freelancer, or pursuing something unconventional, questioning their career path can feel discouraging. If they’re passionate about what they do, that’s what matters. Support beats scepticism every time.
9. “You should smile more.”
Nothing sparks joy like being told to change your face, right? Some people are more reserved, and that’s perfectly fine. Telling someone to smile more usually makes them want to smile *less*. Let them enjoy the holiday in their own way.
10. “When I was your age, I had everything sorted.”
Times have changed, and comparing life back then to life now isn’t always fair. This kind of comment can feel dismissive of the unique challenges they face today. Instead of comparisons, maybe offer a bit of understanding (or another glass of mulled wine).
11. “Why aren’t you eating more?”
Whether they’re full, watching what they eat, or just not in the mood, commenting on someone’s plate is unnecessary. Pushing them to eat more only makes things awkward. Let people enjoy their meal at their own pace — no food guilt required.
12. “Any plans to move closer to the family?”
Not everyone wants to (or can) move back to the family fold. Careers, partners, and life choices often take people further afield. This question can make them feel guilty for living their own life. They’ll visit when they can — let that be enough.
13. “Why don’t you ever call?”
Guilt-tripping about communication isn’t the way to get more phone calls. Everyone’s juggling busy lives, and sometimes staying in touch slips through the cracks. Instead of complaining, try saying, “It’s so good to see you” and enjoy the moment.
14. “You’re too sensitive.”
Everyone experiences things differently, and brushing off their feelings as “too sensitive” can sting. The holidays are about connection, not dismissal. If someone shares how they feel, a little empathy goes a long way.
15. “When are you going to grow up?”
Just because someone’s life choices don’t match your expectations doesn’t mean they’re immature. Growing up looks different for everyone. Whether they’re embracing responsibilities or living more freely, their path is valid. Let them enjoy their journey — after all, Peter Pan had some good points.
