Parenting doesn’t end the minute your kids turn 18 — it just changes.
However, just because they’re adults now doesn’t mean there aren’t certain things you do or say that they find absolutely mortifying. In fact, sometimes your behaviour can be more embarrassing than ever, especially since they’re old enough to recognise it for what it really is. If you don’t want your kids to cringe every time they think about you, get rid of any of these habits if you have them. Your adult children will thank you for it!
1. Oversharing on social media
Source: Unsplash Social media’s a great way to stay connected, but there’s such a thing as oversharing. Posting everything from their childhood photos to private family details might be fun for you, but it can feel like a violation of their privacy. Before you hit “share” on that adorable pic of them in the bath as toddlers, just ask. They’ll appreciate the respect for their boundaries.
2. Giving unsolicited advice
You want the best for your kids, and that often means offering advice. But here’s the thing: they don’t always want to hear it. Constantly chiming in with “You should…” can come off as overbearing. Your adult children need space to make their own decisions, even if they mess up along the way. Save the advice for when they ask for it!
3. Treating them like they’re still teenagers
Sometimes, it’s hard not to slip back into calling them by their childhood nicknames or reminiscing about the days when they were still “your little one.” But, as endearing as it might seem to you, it can be a little much for them. Treating them like the adults they are will help build mutual respect and keep things from getting awkward.
4. Overstepping into their relationships
They’ve got their own love life now, and while you probably just want to help, offering unsolicited opinions about their partner or trying to intervene in their relationship will only make things uncomfortable. They need space to figure things out for themselves. Keep the peace by stepping back and trusting their judgement.
5. Critiquing their lifestyle choices
You might not agree with their career path, the way they choose to raise their kids, or how they live, but constant critiques can start to feel draining. They value your support more than they value your opinions on how they should live their life. Trust them to figure it out — they’ve got this.
6. Comparing them to other people
“Your cousin just bought a house!” or “Your friend seems to have such a great job” may seem like harmless comments, but comparisons can feel like a burden, even when they’re meant as encouragement. Your kids are on their own unique journey, and celebrating that is way more meaningful than comparing them to someone else.
7. Calling them out in public
No one likes being put on the spot, especially in front of other people. Even if you’re joking, calling out your kids in public or pointing out something they did wrong can be embarrassing. Keep those critiques or playful banter for private moments to avoid unnecessary discomfort.
8. Showing up unannounced
Remember when you could just drop by without warning? Well, those days are gone. As adults, your kids value their routines and their personal space. A quick text or a call before popping in goes a long way in respecting their time and boundaries.
9. Bringing up old mistakes
Sure, you might think it’s funny to remind them about the time they failed their driving test or were hopelessly messy at school, but bringing up old mistakes doesn’t serve any purpose. Your adult kids don’t need to be reminded of past embarrassments. They’d much rather focus on where they’re at now and how far they’ve come.
10. Pressuring them to have kids (or more kids)
It’s natural to want grandkids, but constantly asking when they’re going to give you one can create unnecessary pressure. Trust that they’re making the decisions that are right for their family. Pushing them to have kids — or more kids — can feel like a burden, not a blessing.
11. Taking everything personally
If your adult kids don’t call or visit as often as you’d like, it’s not about you. They’ve got busy lives— work, relationships, hobbies — and it’s not always easy to juggle everything. Understanding that they’ve got a lot on their plate will help strengthen your relationship, rather than making you feel like they’re neglecting you.
12. Offering outdated opinions
Times change, and so do social norms. When you hold on too tightly to outdated views, it can create friction with your adult children. Staying open-minded and respecting the way they see the world is key to keeping the lines of communication strong. A little flexibility goes a long way in maintaining a healthy relationship.
13. Oversharing about your health
Of course, you want your kids to know how you’re doing, but constantly listing every ache and pain can be overwhelming for them. They’ll appreciate knowing that you’re okay, but they also want to be able to enjoy their time with you without feeling burdened by your health updates all the time.
14. Insisting on doing things your way
You’ve got your way of doing things—and that’s great! But pushing your adult kids to do things your way (whether it’s how they load the dishwasher or how they celebrate holidays) can create unnecessary tension. Let them do things how they see fit, and show them you trust their judgement.
15. Guilt-tripping them
We all know the guilt trip: “I guess I’ll just spend Christmas alone…” or “You never call me anymore.” While it might be tempting, this type of manipulation is more likely to push them away than inspire action. Instead of guilt-tripping, try communicating your feelings in a direct and appreciative way. A little appreciation goes much further than making them feel bad.
