Some people are smooth talkers, but not always in a good way.
They know exactly the right words to say and when, but that’s part of the problem — they’re using their conversational charm to manipulate you. The good thing is that if you know what to listen for, the phrases they use all the time can give away their true intentions. If you hear these things from someone a lot, they might not be as trustworthy as they initially seemed.
1. “Trust me, you’ll love this.”
When someone preemptively asks for trust, it might be a red flag. Genuine people usually let their actions speak louder than their words—there’s no need for a sales pitch if it’s really great. If they’re pushing too hard, it could mean they’re trying to convince themselves as much as you.
2. “Don’t tell anyone, but…”
Sharing secrets might feel like bonding, but it’s worth wondering: if they’re spilling someone else’s business, what are they saying about you behind your back? A person who values privacy and trust wouldn’t need to lure you in with someone else’s secrets.
3. “That’s not what I meant.”
This one often comes out when they’ve been caught saying something questionable. It’s an easy way to backpedal without actually addressing what was said or taking responsibility. If it happens repeatedly, it may be more about avoiding accountability than genuine misunderstanding.
4. “Nobody will ever find out.”
If someone is comfortable covering up the truth, that’s a sign they might be equally willing to throw honesty out the window when it suits them. People who operate in the shadows often rely on secrecy to maintain control or manipulate situations.
5. “It’s not a big deal.”
When someone downplays an issue, it could mean they’re trying to shift your focus away from something they don’t want you to dig into. Sometimes, this phrase is used to get you to dismiss your instincts, so trust your gut when it feels off.
6. “I was just joking.”
Some people use “jokes” as a way to test boundaries or say something they don’t want to own up to. If you’re left feeling uncomfortable, it’s worth paying attention. A good-natured person would apologise if their humour landed wrong, not hide behind it.
7. “You’re overthinking this.”
Sometimes, people dismiss valid concerns by making you feel like you’re the problem. Gaslighting in disguise, this can be a way to avoid accountability. People who truly care about you won’t invalidate your feelings or dismiss your thoughts so quickly.
8. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
This sounds nice on the surface, but it’s often used to deflect blame without actually apologising. Intent doesn’t erase impact, and a sincere person would acknowledge both. If they seem to say this a lot, it may be a way to dodge any real responsibility.
9. “Why do you need to know?”
When a simple question gets a defensive response, it might be because they have something to hide. Transparency usually doesn’t come with conditions. A straightforward person wouldn’t make you feel like your curiosity is unwelcome.
10. “It’s complicated.”
This is a classic dodge. While life can get messy, repeated use of this can be a sign that someone is avoiding giving you the whole truth—or any truth at all. If every explanation starts with “it’s complicated,” it may mean they’re stalling or deflecting entirely.
11. “You’re the only person I can trust with this.”
Flattering, right? But if they’re pulling you into something shady or trying to isolate you from other people, it might be more manipulative than sincere. Be cautious when someone tries to make you feel “special” as a way to gain your compliance.
12. “I swear, I didn’t do it.”
Protesting too much? Repeatedly insisting they didn’t do something before you even accuse them can sometimes reveal guilt rather than innocence. Genuine people don’t need to overexplain their honesty—it’s evident in their actions.
13. “No one needs to know the details.”
This one often means that someone is skating over something they don’t want fully exposed. The details might just be the part that matters most. When people gloss over the specifics, it’s often a sign they’re hiding something inconvenient or critical.
14. “You wouldn’t understand.”
Dismissing your ability to comprehend something could be a tactic to avoid explaining themselves. A trustworthy person takes the time to clarify, not shut you down. It’s often a way to discourage further questions or scrutiny.
15. “Everyone else does it.”
Using other people’s behaviour to justify their own actions? Not exactly a glowing endorsement of their character. If “everyone else” is their go-to excuse, it’s likely a way to avoid taking personal responsibility for questionable choices.
16. “Relax, I’ve got it under control.”
While this might sound reassuring, it can also be a way to shut down questions or concerns. If someone gets defensive about being asked for details, it’s worth figuring out what’s really going on. Truly confident people don’t feel threatened by a little curiosity.
