Networking can feel awkward, especially when small talk seems so forced or shallow most of the time.
Many people struggle with it because they feel like they have to “perform,” rather than just have a natural conversation. Of course, good networking isn’t about delivering rehearsed lines; it’s about building genuine connections. If you want to make networking feel more natural (and less like an uncomfortable job interview), here are a few small talk strategies that can help.
1. Change your mindset from “networking” to “getting to know people.”
One of the biggest reasons networking feels fake is because people treat it like a transaction. Instead of focusing on what you can get from someone, change your approach to simply learning about them. Enter conversations with curiosity rather than a checklist. When you stop thinking of networking as “impressing people” and start thinking of it as “getting to know someone interesting,” the interaction becomes more authentic.
2. Open with something that feels natural, not scripted.
Instead of jumping into a robotic introduction, start with something more relaxed. A simple “How’s your day going?” or “Have you been to this event before?” can feel far more natural than a rehearsed elevator pitch. The goal is to break the ice in a way that invites conversation rather than putting pressure on the other person to be impressed. Keeping things casual at the start helps create a more comfortable dynamic.
3. Use observations to start a conversation.
Source: Unsplash When you’re in a room full of strangers, it helps to use your surroundings to spark a conversation. Mentioning something about the venue, the event, or even the refreshments can be an easy way to initiate a discussion without it feeling forced. For example, “This is a great turnout — have you been to one of these before?” or “I wasn’t expecting such a big crowd! What brought you here today?” gives the other person something easy to respond to.
4. Give people something specific to respond to.
Asking “What do you do?” is a standard networking question, but it can lead to dry, rehearsed answers. Instead, try framing questions in a way that encourages a more engaging response. For example, instead of asking, “What do you do?” try, “What’s something exciting you’re working on right now?” or “What’s the best part of your job?” These types of questions open the door for more interesting and personal responses.
5. Listen more than you talk.
People often think networking is about making themselves sound impressive, but the real key is making people feel heard. When you focus on genuinely listening rather than planning what to say next, conversations feel more organic. Show that you’re engaged by making eye contact, nodding, and responding with follow-up questions. The more you focus on the other person, the more natural and enjoyable the conversation will feel.
6. Find common ground early.
Networking feels less awkward when you can establish a genuine connection with someone. Look for common interests, shared experiences, or mutual contacts to create a sense of familiarity. If they mention where they’re from, where they studied, or an industry they’re in, try to find something relatable. Saying, “Oh, I used to live near there!” or “I’ve heard great things about that company” helps move the conversation beyond just business talk.
7. Use humour to break the ice.
You don’t have to be a comedian, but a little lightheartedness can make small talk feel much more natural. Simple, friendly humour, like joking about how networking events always seem to run out of coffee or making a fun observation about the event, can put people at ease. People are more likely to remember conversations that felt enjoyable rather than ones that felt overly formal or stiff. A relaxed, friendly tone makes you more approachable.
8. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge the awkwardness.
If networking events make you feel uncomfortable, chances are other people feel the same way. Acknowledging the awkwardness can actually help break the ice. Saying something like, “These events are always a little intimidating at first, aren’t they?” or “I never know how to start these conversations — how’s your night going so far?” can make things feel more human and relatable.
9. Ask about experiences, not just job titles.
People are more than just their job titles, and asking about their experiences instead can lead to richer conversations. Instead of focusing purely on what someone does, ask about what they enjoy or what they’ve learned. For example, instead of asking, “How long have you worked at [company]?” try, “What’s something surprising you’ve learned in your industry?” This invites storytelling, which makes networking feel more meaningful.
10. Offer something before asking for something.
Networking feels fake when it’s just about people asking for favours. Instead of immediately looking for what you can gain, focus on how you can add value to the conversation. Sharing insights, recommending a resource, or even just connecting someone with a relevant contact makes the interaction feel like a two-way street rather than a transactional exchange. When you give first, people are more likely to want to help you in return.
11. Have a few conversation exit strategies ready.
Not every conversation will be a perfect match, and that’s okay. Instead of feeling stuck in a discussion that isn’t flowing, have a few polite ways to move on. Try something like, “It’s been great chatting with you! I want to meet a few more people before the event ends, but I’d love to stay in touch,” or “I won’t take up too much of your time, but it was really great meeting you!” This keeps things positive while giving you an easy way to transition out of the conversation.
12. Follow up with something meaningful.
Networking doesn’t end when the event is over. Following up with a quick message or email makes a lasting impression and strengthens the connection. Instead of a generic “Great meeting you!” message, reference something specific from your conversation — like, “I really enjoyed our chat about [topic]! Here’s the article I mentioned — thought you might find it interesting.” Personalised follow-ups help build real relationships.
13. Let go of the pressure to be “perfect.”
The best conversations happen when you’re not overthinking every word. Networking isn’t about having the most impressive answers or the perfect pitch; it’s about being authentic and open to meeting new people. Allow yourself to relax, be yourself, and enjoy the process. When you stop worrying about saying the “right” thing, networking feels a lot more natural — and people are drawn to genuine interactions.
