What’s the old saying — trust takes a long time to build and a second to break?
Getting someone to let you in and feel that they can rely on you to have their best interest at heart can be an uphill battle, which is why it’s so important to honour that trust and ensure you behave in a way that keeps it, especially if you really value the relationship. However, if you say any of these things to someone, don’t be surprised if they start questioning whether or not they’re right to confide in you — and start feeling a bit more sceptical about your true nature.
1. “I never said that.”
Denying something you definitely said makes people question not only your honesty but also their own memory. It’s frustrating when someone won’t own up to their words, and it can make them wonder what else you’re willing to lie about. If you’ve said something you regret, the mature move is to admit it and apologise.
2. “I’m only telling you this, but…”
When you pass on someone else’s secret, you’re proving you can’t be trusted with confidential info. Even if you’re only telling one person, you’re breaking the original trust someone placed in you. People will start wondering if their own secrets are safe with you—and odds are, they won’t be.
3. “I didn’t think you’d find out.”
This one basically admits that you were trying to hide something, and that’s a major red flag. It shows that you’re only sorry because you got caught, not because you know it was wrong. Once someone realises you’ve been keeping things from them, it becomes harder to trust anything you say or do.
4. “It’s not a big deal.”
Dismissing someone’s feelings by telling them it’s “not a big deal” makes them feel unheard and undervalued. What might seem small to you could be huge to them, and brushing it off shows a lack of respect for their perspective. If you want to maintain trust, you have to take their feelings seriously, no matter how minor they seem to you.
5. “I was just joking.”
When you say something hurtful and then try to play it off as a joke, it feels like you’re trying to avoid responsibility. Even if you didn’t mean to hurt their feelings, using “it’s just a joke” as an excuse only makes things worse. A genuine apology for crossing the line goes a lot further than brushing off their emotions.
6. “You’re overreacting.”
Telling someone they’re overreacting invalidates how they feel, making them question whether their emotions even matter to you. It’s a guaranteed way to shut down open communication because now they’re less likely to share their feelings in the future. If you want to keep their trust, acknowledge their emotions instead of dismissing them.
7. “I promise I’ll never do it again.”
If you’ve broken a promise before, hearing this again can feel empty. When it’s said too many times, it starts to lose meaning, and the other person might not believe you anymore. Instead of making big promises, focus on showing real change through your actions—that’s what really rebuilds trust.
8. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
While it sounds caring, this phrase often feels more like an excuse than a genuine apology. It implies that you knew your actions might hurt them but chose to do it anyway. Instead of trying to soften the blow, it’s better to take full responsibility and show that you understand the impact of what you did.
9. “You made me do it.”
Blaming someone else for your actions is a classic way of avoiding accountability, and it’s a major trust-breaker. It makes the other person feel manipulated and like you can’t own your behaviour. Trust can only be rebuilt when you take full responsibility for your actions.
10. “I’m not like other people.”
This might sound like you’re trying to reassure them, but it often comes off as arrogant or insincere. It’s like you’re saying you’re above normal expectations, which isn’t very comforting when trust has been broken. People would rather see humility and real change than hear that you’re somehow different.
11. “You’re being too sensitive.”
This phrase tells the other person that their feelings don’t matter, and that’s a fast way to destroy trust. No one wants to feel like their emotions are being dismissed as an overreaction. If they’re upset, their feelings are valid, and brushing them off only makes them less likely to open up to you again.
12. “I didn’t mean to.”
Intentions matter, but the impact of your actions is what truly counts in maintaining trust. Saying “I didn’t mean to” can sound like you’re trying to sidestep responsibility, especially if the other person is still hurt. A better approach is acknowledging how your actions affected them, regardless of what you meant to do.
13. “You always/never…”
Using absolutes like “always” or “never” in arguments can feel unfair and exaggerated. It paints the other person into a corner and makes it seem like you’re judging them based on one extreme view. If you want to resolve an issue without damaging trust, it’s better to stick to the specific problem instead of making sweeping accusations.
14. “I thought you knew.”
This can come across as an excuse for not communicating properly, and it shifts the blame to the other person. It suggests that you expected them to know something without actually telling them, which isn’t fair. Clear communication is key to trust, and assuming they already know something leaves too much room for misunderstanding.
15. “Just trust me.”
Demanding trust, especially after it’s been broken, doesn’t work. Trust isn’t something you can ask for—it’s something you earn through consistent actions over time. Telling someone to “just trust you” when they’re already doubting you can feel manipulative, and it’s more likely to push them further away.
16. “I did it for your own good.”
Even if you had good intentions, saying you did something “for their own good” can feel patronising and controlling. It implies that you know better than they do about their own life, and that kind of attitude can seriously damage trust. It’s better to own up to your actions and respect their ability to make their own decisions.
