Narcissists are drawn to empathetic people like moths to a flame.
It’s a toxic attraction, and you need to know why. They see your kindness and compassion as weaknesses to exploit, not strengths to admire. This isn’t about blaming the victim; it’s about arming you with knowledge. Here are 15 reasons why narcissists target empathetic people, so you can spot the red flags and protect yourself from their manipulative tactics.
1. Narcissists see empathetic people as easy targets for manipulation.
Empathetic people are naturally trusting and forgiving. They give people the benefit of the doubt, often believing in the inherent goodness of human beings. Narcissists see this as an open invitation to manipulate and control. They’ll twist your words, gaslight you, and make you question your own sanity, all while maintaining a facade of innocence.
2. They provide a constant supply of attention and admiration, feeding the narcissist’s insatiable ego.
Narcissists crave attention and validation like a junkie needs their next fix. They feed off admiration and adoration from other people. Empathetic people, with their generous compliments and unwavering support, are like a never-ending buffet for narcissists seeking an ego boost.
3. They offer unconditional support and forgiveness, allowing the narcissist to get away with bad behaviour.
Empathetic people are known for their understanding and forgiving nature. They’re quick to offer support and compassion, even when someone has wronged them repeatedly. Narcissists take advantage of this, knowing they can get away with their toxic behaviour and still receive unconditional love and forgiveness.
4. They’re skilled at emotional regulation, providing the narcissist with the stability they lack.
Empathetic people are adept at managing their own emotions and helping other people do the same. Narcissists, on the other hand, struggle with emotional regulation and often rely on other people to soothe their insecurities and anxieties. Empathetic people become emotional crutches for narcissists, providing them with the stability they desperately crave.
5. They reflect back the narcissist’s idealised self-image, reinforcing their grandiose delusions.
Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe they’re superior to everyone else. Empathetic people, with their positive outlook and willingness to see the good in everyone, inadvertently reinforce the narcissist’s grandiose self-image. They become a mirror reflecting back the narcissist’s distorted view of themselves.
6. They’re less likely to confront the narcissist or set boundaries, making it easier for the narcissist to exert control.
Empathetic people are often conflict-averse and hesitant to set boundaries. They want to maintain harmony and avoid hurting people’s feelings. Narcissists exploit this reluctance to confront, pushing boundaries and testing limits until they have complete control over the relationship.
7. They make the narcissist feel powerful and in control, boosting their fragile ego.
Narcissists thrive on power and control. They enjoy manipulating and influencing other people to boost their own fragile ego. Empathetic people, with their willingness to please and accommodate, make narcissists feel powerful and superior. They become pawns in the narcissist’s game of control.
8. They offer a sense of security and stability, providing a safe haven for the narcissist’s emotional turmoil.
Narcissists are often insecure and emotionally unstable beneath their facade of confidence. They crave a sense of security and stability in their relationships. Empathetic people, with their consistent and reliable nature, provide a safe haven for narcissists to anchor themselves to.
9. They validate the narcissist’s sense of entitlement, reinforcing their belief that they deserve special treatment.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists believe they’re entitled to special treatment and expect other people to cater to their every whim and desire. Empathetic people, with their generous and accommodating nature, inadvertently reinforce the narcissist’s sense of entitlement. They become enablers, fueling the narcissist’s belief that they’re above the rules.
10. They’re willing to sacrifice their own needs for the narcissist, making them vulnerable to exploitation.
Source: Unsplash Empathetic people are selfless and put other people’s needs before their own. Narcissists exploit this selflessness, taking advantage of the empathetic person’s willingness to sacrifice their own happiness and well-being for the sake of the relationship.
11. They provide a source of narcissistic supply, feeding the narcissist’s insatiable need for attention and admiration.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists need constant validation and admiration to maintain their inflated sense of self. Empathetic people, with their unwavering support and admiration, become a reliable source of narcissistic supply, feeding the narcissist’s insatiable ego.
12. They’re unlikely to abandon the narcissist, even in the face of repeated abuse and manipulation.
Source: Unsplash Empathetic people are loyal and committed to their relationships. They’re willing to work through challenges and forgive transgressions, hoping for change. Narcissists know this and exploit it, pushing the limits of the relationship knowing the empathetic person is unlikely to leave.
13. They’re easily gaslighted and manipulated into doubting their own perceptions and accepting the narcissist’s twisted version of reality.
Source: Unsplash Empathetic people trust their intuition and believe in the good in people. Narcissists exploit this trust, gaslighting and manipulating empathetic people into doubting their own perceptions and accepting the narcissist’s twisted version of reality.
14. They’re more likely to forgive and forget, allowing the narcissist to continue their hurtful behaviour without consequences.
Source: Unsplash Empathetic people are forgiving and quick to let go of grudges. They believe in second chances and hope for change. Narcissists see this as a weakness, knowing they can repeatedly hurt and disappoint the empathetic person without fear of long-term consequences.
15. They reinforce the narcissist’s false sense of superiority by constantly validating and admiring them.
Narcissists believe they’re special and unique, deserving of admiration and adoration. Empathetic people, with their genuine admiration and appreciation, inadvertently reinforce the narcissist’s false sense of superiority. They become unwitting accomplices in the narcissist’s delusional world.
