Dealing with someone who walks around with a grudge against the world is one of the most miserable experiences ever.
You’re not quite sure what their problem is and what you (or anyone!) did to make them so angry, but it’s clear they feel like they’ve been wronged in some way — and they’re going to make sure everyone knows about it. If you’ve ever met someone with a giant chip on their shoulder, chances are you’ve heard one or more of these things come out of their mouths.
1. “It’s not fair.”
This is a go-to for people who feel the world is constantly against them. Nine times out of 10, the situation is either totally fair or unfair to pretty much everyone because that’s just life. However, all they care about is how things affect them.
2. “You wouldn’t understand.”
Source: Unsplash Way to assume that no one else could possibly empathise or relate to what are likely very common experiences, mate! Instead, this is their way of shutting down conversations and maintaining their position as being uniquely aggrieved. The chip-haver usually whips this one out when someone is calling them out on their bad behaviour, by the way.
3. “They’re just jealous of me.”
You know someone has a terrible attitude when they assume that every piece of criticism (however founded or constructed) is down to the other person being jealous of them. This way, they can deflect any responsibility for their own behaviour and maintain their sense of superiority. In their heads, it’s literally easier to believe that people envy them than that they might need to change.
4. “I never get any breaks.”
Shall I whip out the world’s tiniest violin and begin playing? People with chips on their shoulders love to act as if good things only happen to other people out of pure luck, and that they’ve somehow been left behind in the game of life. They act as if they have no agency over (or personal responsibility for) their own lives, and it’s sad to see.
5. “They’re all against me.”
Lots of times, people with bad attitudes have this weirdly paranoid mindset where they see themselves as constantly under attack or being conspired against. Whether it’s at work, in their social circle, or in society at large, they feel that there’s a collective effort to keep them down or make their life hard. This then convinces them even more that they’re being hard done by, and the cycle continues…
6. “I’m just telling it like it is.”
Often used to justify rude or insensitive comments, this is a favourite of people who pride themselves on being “brutally honest” (read: unrepentant jerks). They use it as a shield against criticism of their behaviour, presenting their negativity as a virtue. In reality, it’s usually an excuse to voice their grievances without considering anyone else’s feelings.
7. “Nobody appreciates what I do.”
People with chips on their shoulders tend to delude themselves into thinking they do more than the average person, whether at work, in relationships, or just in life in general. Unless people are rolling out the red carpet and telling them the sun shines out of their backside on a daily basis, they insist that they’re unappreciated and taken for granted.
8. “That’s just typical.”
Source: Unsplash When something goes wrong, this is their way of saying, “I expected this to happen.” It reinforces their belief that things not working out is the norm for them. What they don’t realise is that this pessimistic outlook can become a self-fulfilling prophecy because they end up subconsciously sabotaging situations to prove themselves right.
9. “Why bother? Nothing ever changes.”
Source: Unsplash We get it, you’re cynical and apathetic. That might have been cool when you were 16, but these days, anyone who adopts “nihilist” as their personality type either has a legitimate mental health issue (which is serious, and they should get help for), or they just need to get their acts together and start acting like a mature adult. Things change all the time. Whether or not they get left behind is up to them.
10. “I didn’t get where I am by being nice.”
Source: Unsplash This is a major red flag. It’s true that 99% of the richest and most powerful people in the world are… not very nice. However, bragging about the fact that you’ve been a total you-know-what to get ahead, and then insisting that that’s the norm, is not the one. It literally costs nothing to be kind and considerate. If you have to be so cut-throat, is the “success” (which I guarantee they don’t really have) worth it?
11. “You think you’re better than me?”
This defensive question often comes out when they feel challenged or think someone is looking down on them (again, often down to their paranoia). It reveals their insecurity and readiness to interpret even the most innocent conversation or remark as attacks on their worth. In the end, people stop wanting to interact with them because it’s always such a minefield.
12. “That’s just how the world works.”
People with chips on their shoulders often have a bit of a fatalistic outlook, if you couldn’t already tell. In their eyes, nothing ever works out, nothing ever changes, and everything is pointless — and there’s no use trying to change that because it’s just the way the cookie crumbles. Again, this is another excuse so they can avoid having to actually be accountable for their lives.
13. “I’m not negative, I’m realistic.”
This is their defence against accusations of negativity, and it’s not particularly convincing. By framing their pessimism as realism, they try to present their outlook as more valid or truthful than other people’s, so they can dismiss people who are more positive as being naive or uninformed.
14. “They don’t know what real work is.”
People with a chip on their shoulder really do think that they work harder than everyone else. As a result, they have no problem completely writing off anyone else’s effort or accomplishments, since it can never possibly stack up to what they put in. They love painting other people as lazy or privileged, even when they’re the ones who aren’t pulling their weight half the time.
15. “It’s always been this way for me.”
If circumstances or patterns in your life haven’t changed for many years, but they do for every other human being on the planet, you have to ask yourself why. Chances are, it’s “always been that way” because they’ve refused to take an honest look at their own problematic behaviour and do anything about it. Save the sob story, mate.
16. “You’ve got it easy compared to me.”
Again, people with a chip on their shoulder love to make it out like they’re the only ones with real problems and that everyone else is just being overly dramatic. Oddly enough, they make it pretty hard to feel sorry for them…
