Most fake people won’t come at you with outright rudeness, especially since that would ruin the ruse from the outset.
Usually, they’re all sweetness, charm, and a bit too much politeness. On the surface, they seem pretty okay, but if you pay attention to the way they speak, their words start to crack around the edges. Inauthentic behaviour has a rhythm to it. The things they say seem friendly on the surface, but they leave you feeling weird, second-guessed, or just slightly off. If you’ve ever left a conversation thinking, “Wait, was that a compliment or a dig?” then this one’s for you.
1. “I’m just a very honest person, that’s all.”
People who say this are rarely just being honest. It’s usually a cover for being rude with plausible deniability. If they were really trying to be kind, they wouldn’t need the disclaimer. It’s a sneaky way to say something that hits a nerve while pretending they’re doing you a favour. Genuine kindness doesn’t come with a self-defensive warning label.
2. “No offence, but…”
This one’s a classic and still just as revealing. If someone starts a sentence this way, you already know something unnecessary or cutting is about to follow. Kind people find better ways to say things, or they don’t say it at all. This is basically a way of saying, “I know this is rude, but I want to say it anyway.”
3. “I would’ve told you, but I didn’t want to upset you.”
This might sound thoughtful at first, but it often hides something else, like control or avoidance. It’s a way to justify keeping you out of the loop while still coming off as considerate. If someone keeps making decisions “for your sake” without actually involving you, it’s worth asking who it’s really serving.
4. “I’m only telling you this because I care.”
Used in the right context, this can be sincere, but when it follows a low-key dig or criticism you didn’t ask for, it’s just emotional packaging for something mean-spirited. People who actually care usually show it through support, not passive-aggressive commentary dressed up as concern.
5. “You’re so brave for wearing that.”
Oof. This sounds like a compliment, but it’s laced with a fair bit of judgement. It’s the kind of thing that leaves you wondering if you’ve just been praised or insulted. When someone’s pretending to be nice, compliments often come with this kind of sharp edge. It’s about putting you off balance, not lifting you up.
6. “I would never say this to anyone else, but…”
Translation: “I gossip, but I want you to feel special while I do it.” This sort of statement is used to build false closeness, so you lower your guard without realising it. It’s also a test. If they’re saying it to you now, there’s a good chance they’re saying the same thing about you later.
7. “That’s just how I am.”
When someone uses this to brush off unkind or careless behaviour, they’re not being real. Really, they’re refusing to take responsibility while acting like they’re being authentic. Real kindness adapts. It doesn’t hide behind a fixed personality excuse to keep hurting people or dodging accountability.
8. “Wow, you’re actually really smart.”
That “actually” does a lot of damage here. It implies low expectations, like they didn’t see you that way until just now. It’s a backhanded compliment in polite packaging. If someone’s always shocked when you’re competent, that’s not admiration, it’s veiled condescension.
9. “Some people might take that the wrong way.”
This is how fake-nice people throw a jab without owning it. They pass the judgement onto some vague third party, while clearly implying that you’re the problem. If they had real feedback, they’d just say it directly. This tactic is all about plausible deniability, and it’s really annoying.
10. “I’d never say this in public, but between us…”
Whenever someone sets up a sentence like this, they’re about to say something they absolutely would say in public, just not around the person it’s about. Fake-nice people love the illusion of trust, while keeping the mess just under the surface. Gossip dressed up as bonding is still just gossip.
11. “You’re so sensitive sometimes.”
This usually comes up when someone’s been called out and doesn’t want to own it. Instead of apologising, they flip it back on you and make your reaction the issue. It’s a way to stay on top without getting loud—still controlling, just with a smile instead of a shout.
12. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
Maybe they didn’t, but if you’re hearing this phrase constantly from the same person, chances are they did mean it that way, they just didn’t expect you to catch it. It’s the go-to phrase when someone wants to hit below the belt but also wants to walk away looking like the innocent one.
13. “That’s not what I said.”
This one’s slippery. When someone keeps twisting their words after the fact, they’re not just misremembering, they’re manipulating. They’re trying to make you doubt your own understanding of what happened. If it becomes a pattern, miscommunication isn’t the problem here. You’re dealing with someone who’s playing a long game.
14. “I’m just trying to help.”
This line usually comes out when someone’s being pushy, intrusive, or unkind, but doesn’t want to be called on it. It’s a way of cloaking control as concern. Real help usually doesn’t need defending. If they have to keep telling you their intentions are good, it might be because their actions don’t match.
15. “Don’t take this the wrong way…”
There’s no polite way to serve up a phrase like this. It’s usually the start of something that is going to hurt, and they know it. If someone’s really looking out for you, they’ll say hard things in thoughtful ways. This one is code for, “I know this is going to come across badly, but I’m doing it anyway.”
16. “You know I love you, right?”
Sounds lovely, unless it’s said after a guilt trip, a jab, or something they know they shouldn’t have said. Then it becomes emotional insurance, not affection. Fake-nice people lean on phrases like this to smooth over the impact of their behaviour. It’s a soft cushion over a sharp edge.
