Loneliness isn’t always obvious.
Some people might seem surrounded by friends or family, yet still feel deeply alone. If you notice these behaviours in yourself or someone you know, it might be a sign of underlying loneliness. Here are some red flags that might indicate someone’s seriously struggling on their own.
1. They overshare with strangers.
When someone’s starved for connection, they might dump their life story on the first person who shows interest. It’s like they’re trying to fast-track intimacy, but it often has the opposite effect.
2. They’re always on their phone.
Scrolling endlessly through social media or constantly checking messages can be a way to feel connected, even if it’s just virtual. It’s a poor substitute for real interaction, but it’s better than nothing in their minds.
3. They collect a lot of stuff.
Sometimes, lonely people try to fill the void with things instead of relationships. Excessive shopping or hoarding can be a sign that someone’s trying to compensate for a lack of human connection.
4. They’re always busy.
Keeping an incredibly packed schedule can be a way to avoid facing loneliness. If someone never has a free moment, they don’t have to confront the emptiness they feel when they’re alone.
5. They’re overly clingy in relationships.
When lonely people do form connections, they might hold on too tight. They’re so afraid of losing that relationship that they end up smothering the other person.
6. They avoid deep conversations.
Paradoxically, some lonely people steer clear of meaningful talks. They might fear vulnerability or worry that opening up will drive people away.
7. They’re always the ones reaching out.
Source: Unsplash If someone’s constantly initiating contact and making plans, it might be because they’re desperate for interaction. They’re afraid that if they don’t make the effort, no one will.
8. They have trouble setting boundaries.
Lonely people might say yes to everything, even things they don’t want to do, out of fear of missing out on social interaction. They’re afraid to set limits in case it pushes people away.
9. They’re overly critical of everyone they meet.
Sometimes, loneliness manifests as bitterness. They might find fault with everyone around them as a defence mechanism against their own feelings of isolation.
10. They’re always online.
Similar to being glued to their phone, lonely people might spend excessive time online, whether it’s gaming, chatting, or just browsing. The internet provides a sense of connection, even if it’s not fulfilling.
11. They have extreme reactions to small gestures.
A simple text or invitation might mean the world to someone who’s lonely. They might overreact with enthusiasm because any interaction feels like a lifeline.
12. They struggle with self-care.
When you’re lonely, it’s easy to neglect yourself. Poor hygiene, unhealthy eating habits, or lack of exercise can all be signs that someone’s struggling with loneliness.
13. They’re always agreeable.
Some lonely people become chronic people-pleasers. They’ll agree with everything and never voice their own opinions for fear of causing conflict and losing connections.
14. They romanticise past relationships.
Lonely people might idealise former friendships or romantic relationships, even if they weren’t actually that great. It’s a way of escaping their current feelings of isolation.
15. They’re uncomfortable with silence.
In social situations, they might feel the need to fill every silence with chatter. The quiet moments remind them of their loneliness, so they try to avoid them at all costs.
16. They have a hard time being alone.
While everyone needs some social interaction, lonely people might find it unbearable to spend any time by themselves. They might always be looking for ways to be around people, even if it’s just sitting in a crowded café.
17. They’re overly invested in fictional worlds.
Source: Unsplash Books, TV shows, or movies can provide an escape from loneliness. While there’s nothing wrong with enjoying fiction, if someone seems to live more in these imaginary worlds than in reality, it might be a sign they’re trying to fill a void.
