Do you know someone who’s really good at what they do, but constantly downplays it?
They might be suffering from a lack of self-belief. It’s a real head-scratcher because their talent is undeniable, yet they struggle to see their own worth. If you’re wondering if you or someone you know falls into this category, here are some behaviours that often signal a disconnect between talent and self-confidence.
1. They minimise their achievements.
When complimented, they brush it off as luck or attribute it to external factors. They might say things like, “Oh, it was nothing,” or “Anyone could have done it.” They struggle to internalise their successes and often feel like impostors.
2. They’re always apologising for something or other.
They apologise for minor inconveniences, mistakes, or even for things that aren’t their fault. This constant need to say “I’m sorry” stems from a deep-seated belief that they’re not good enough and need to constantly seek forgiveness and approval from other people.
3. They need a whole lot of reassurance.
They need constant validation and affirmation from outsiders. They might ask for feedback repeatedly, fish for compliments, or want approval for their decisions. This need for external validation reflects their lack of confidence in their own abilities and judgment.
4. They compare themselves to other people non-stop.
They constantly measure themselves against everyone else, focusing on their so-called shortcomings and flaws. They might feel inferior to those who are more successful or accomplished, even if they possess unique talents and strengths of their own. This comparison trap can fuel feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
5. They’re afraid of taking risks.
Fear of failure holds them back from taking chances and stepping outside their comfort zone. They might stick to familiar routines and avoid new challenges, even if those challenges could lead to growth and success. This fear of failure is often rooted in a lack of self-belief and a fear of not being good enough.
6. They have difficulty accepting compliments.
When someone compliments them, they might deflect or downplay their achievements. They struggle to believe that they are deserving of praise or recognition. This difficulty in accepting compliments is a reflection of their underlying self-doubt and lack of self-worth.
7. They set impossibly high standards for themselves.
Source: Unsplash Perfectionism can be a double-edged sword for talented individuals who lack self-belief. They often set unrealistic expectations for themselves, striving for flawlessness in everything they do. This can lead to burnout, frustration, and a constant feeling of never being good enough.
8. They’re afraid to put themselves out there.
Fear of judgment and rejection can paralyse those who lack self-belief. They might hesitate to share their work, express their opinions, or put themselves in situations where they might be vulnerable to criticism. This fear of exposure can prevent them from showcasing their talents and reaching their full potential.
9. They are overly self-critical and focus on their flaws.
They are hyper-aware of their imperfections and tend to dwell on their mistakes or shortcomings. They might be overly harsh on themselves, constantly criticising their performance and feeling like they could have done better. This self-criticism can be debilitating and prevent them from recognising their own strengths and talents.
10. They lack confidence in their abilities.
Source: Unsplash Despite their obvious talent, they doubt their own capabilities and skills. They might feel like they’re not as good as other people, even when they have evidence to the contrary. This lack of confidence can manifest in self-deprecating humour, downplaying their accomplishments, or avoiding challenges that might expose their perceived weaknesses.
11. They chase validation from external sources.
Source: Unsplash They rely on other people’s approval or opinions to feel good about themselves. They might need constant reassurance from friends, family, or colleagues, or constantly compare themselves to other people to gauge their own worth. This reliance on external validation can be a sign of low self-esteem and a lack of self-belief.
12. They fear success.
Source: Unsplash This might sound counterintuitive, but some people who lack self-belief are actually afraid of success. They worry that they won’t be able to live up to the expectations that come with success, or that they’ll be exposed as frauds. This fear of success can be a self-sabotaging behaviour that prevents them from reaching their full potential.
13. They procrastinate and avoid taking action.
They might have great ideas and ambitious goals, but they struggle to take the necessary steps to achieve them. They might procrastinate, make excuses, or simply avoid taking action altogether. This procrastination can stem from a fear of failure or a lack of confidence in their ability to succeed.
14. They settle for less than they deserve.
They might stay in jobs they hate, settle for unhealthy relationships, or simply not pursue their dreams because they don’t believe they deserve better. This self-limiting behaviour can be a major obstacle to happiness and fulfilment. It’s important to recognise your worth and not settle for less than you deserve.
