Some people just seem constantly miserable, no matter how well their life is going.
Source: Unsplash
It’s not just a bad day here and there, it’s a pattern of negativity that seems to follow them around. It can be tough to be around, and even tougher to realize if you’re one of those people. Chronically unhappy people tend to have these habits — do you?
1. They focus on the negative.
It’s like they have a built-in negativity filter because they manage to see the bad in everything, from the news to their personal lives. They dwell on problems, complain about everything, and rarely find anything to be happy about. It’s a bit like wearing sunglasses indoors — everything looks darker and gloomier than it actually is.
2. They compare themselves to other people constantly.
Source: Unsplash Social media doesn’t help with this one. They’re always looking at what everyone else has, whether it’s material stuff, relationships, or achievements, and feeling like they just don’t measure up and their life sucks. It’s a never-ending game of “keeping up with the Joneses” that leaves them feeling jealous and sad.
3. They hold grudges.
Source: Unsplash The word “forgiveness” just isn’t in their vocabulary. Unhappy people tend to hold on to the past like a life preserver. They replay old arguments in their heads, rehearse imagined comebacks, and refuse to let go of the anger and hurt that should be ancient history by now. This not only keeps them stuck in the past, but it also poisons their present relationships and prevents them from moving forward.
4. They complain but don’t take action.
They’re always griping about their problems, but they rarely take any steps to actually solve them. They might complain about their job, their relationship, or their health, but they won’t look for a new job, communicate with their partner, or make healthier choices. It’s a vicious cycle of complaining and inaction that keeps them stuck in their unhappiness, Forbes explains.
5. They isolate themselves.
When you’re feeling down, it’s easy to withdraw from people, but isolating yourself only makes things worse. It deprives you of social support, connection, and the joy that comes from spending time with loved ones. Unhappy people often push everyone away, making excuses for why they can’t hang out or participate in activities. They might even convince themselves that they’re better off alone.
6. They lack gratitude.
Source: Unsplash It’s hard to be happy when you’re constantly focused on what you lack. Unhappy people rarely take the time to appreciate the good things in their lives, whether it’s a roof over their head, food on the table, or loving friends and family. They take these blessings for granted and focus instead on what they don’t have, which only fuels their dissatisfaction.
7. They’re resistant to change.
Source: Unsplash Growth and happiness typically require stepping outside your comfort zone and trying new things, but unhappy people tend to resist change, even if it’s for the better. They might stick with a job they hate, stay in a toxic relationship, or refuse to try new hobbies or experiences. This fear of change keeps them stuck in a rut and prevents them from discovering new sources of joy and fulfilment.
8. They live in the past or the future.
Source: Unsplash Unhappy people are rarely present in the moment. They’re either dwelling on past mistakes and regrets, or worrying about future problems that haven’t even happened yet. They miss out on the beauty and joy of the present moment, the only moment we truly have control over. This constant focus on the past or future creates anxiety, stress, and a sense of dissatisfaction with life.
9. They blame everyone else for their problems.
Source: Unsplash It’s always someone else’s fault. Unhappy people rarely take ownership of their own mistakes or shortcomings. They blame their parents, their boss, their partner, even the weather for their unhappiness. They see themselves as victims of circumstance, rather than active participants in their own lives. This external locus of control leaves them feeling powerless and resentful, rather than empowered to create change.
10. They have unrealistic expectations.
Source: Unsplash Life isn’t a fairy tale, but unhappy people often expect it to be. They set unrealistic expectations for themselves, their relationships, and the world around them. They believe they should always be happy, successful, and loved, and when reality doesn’t match up, they feel disappointed and disillusioned. This sets them up for a constant cycle of frustration and unmet expectations.
11. They seek validation from everyone but themselves.
Source: Unsplash As Psych Central points out, unhappy people often rely on external validation to feel good about themselves. They need constant reassurance, compliments, and approval from outside sources. They might post selfies on social media, fish for compliments, or seek approval from their partners. This dependence on external validation leaves them feeling empty and unfulfilled, as true happiness and self-worth come from within.
12. They’re materialistic.
Source: Unsplash They believe that happiness can be bought. They chase after the latest gadgets, designer clothes, and luxury vacations, thinking these things will bring them joy. But the happiness derived from material possessions is fleeting. It doesn’t address the underlying issues that contribute to their unhappiness, and it often leaves them feeling empty and wanting more.
13. They neglect their health.
Source: Unsplash Physical and mental health are interconnected. Unhappy people often neglect their well-being, skipping exercise, eating junk food, and ignoring their emotional needs. This neglect can lead to a downward spiral, as poor health only exacerbates their unhappiness. It’s important to prioritize self-care and make healthy choices that nourish both body and mind.
14. They lack meaningful goals.
Source: Unsplash Having something to strive for gives life purpose and direction. Unhappy people often drift aimlessly through life, lacking clear goals or aspirations. They might feel lost, unmotivated, and unsure of what they want to do with their lives. Setting meaningful goals, even small ones, can give them a sense of purpose and direction, which can lead to greater happiness and fulfilment.
15. They’re always in a rush.
Source: Unsplash They’re constantly running from one thing to the next, always feeling stressed and overwhelmed. They don’t take time to slow down, relax, and enjoy the simple pleasures of life. This constant rush creates anxiety, burnout, and a sense of never having enough time. It’s important to learn to prioritize, delegate, and set aside time for rest and relaxation.
16. They dwell on past mistakes.
Source: Unsplash Everyone makes mistakes, but unhappy people tend to dwell on them, replaying them over and over in their heads. They beat themselves up for past failures and regrets, never allowing themselves to move on. This negative self-talk creates a cycle of shame and self-doubt that prevents them from learning from their mistakes and growing as individuals.
17. They fear failure.
This fear can be paralysing. Unhappy people might avoid taking risks, trying new things, or pursuing their dreams because they’re afraid of failing. They might stay in a dead-end job, avoid relationships, or give up on their goals before they even start. This fear of failure keeps them stuck in their comfort zone and prevents them from reaching their full potential.
18. They lack self-compassion.
Source: Unsplash They’re hard on themselves, constantly criticizing their own flaws and shortcomings. They don’t give themselves the same kindness and understanding that they would offer a friend. This lack of self-compassion leads to negative self-talk, low self-esteem, and a general sense of unhappiness. It’s important to learn to treat yourself with kindness and forgiveness.
19. They surround themselves with negative people.
Source: Unsplash You know the saying, “misery loves company”? It’s true. Unhappy people often surround themselves with other negative people. They complain together, reinforce each other’s negativity, and create a toxic environment that breeds unhappiness. It’s important to surround yourself with positive, supportive people who lift you up and encourage you to be your best self.
20. They resist seeking help.
Source: Unsplash Sometimes, we all need a little help to overcome challenges and improve our well-being. But unhappy people often resist seeking help, whether it’s therapy, counselling, or even just talking to a trusted friend or family member. They might feel ashamed, embarrassed, or afraid of being judged. But seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and it can be the first step towards a happier and more fulfilling life.
