We all want to be liked — it’s natural.
That being said, sometimes we do things that unintentionally push people away. Nobody’s perfect, and a little quirkiness can be endearing. But when those quirks cross the line into obnoxious territory, well, let’s just say your popularity might take a hit. Here are a few behaviours to watch out for.
1. You interrupt people mid-sentence.
Conversations are a two-way street, not a one-person monologue. Constantly cutting people off shows you’re more interested in hearing your own voice than engaging in a real dialogue. It can make people feel unheard and disrespected, and they’ll likely be less eager to chat with you in the future.
2. You always have to one-up everyone.
Someone shares a story about their trip to the beach? You have to chime in about your way more luxurious holiday in the Maldives. It’s great to be proud of your achievements, but constantly one-upping people makes you come across as competitive and insecure. Let people have their moment in the spotlight without feeling the need to outshine them.
3. You’re a chronic complainer.
A little venting can be cathartic, but if you’re always finding something to complain about, it can be exhausting for those around you. Negativity is contagious, and people will start to associate you with those bad vibes. Try to focus on the positive aspects of your life, and save the venting for your journal or a trusted friend.
4. You never offer to help, but always accept help.
Relationships are about give and take. If you’re always on the receiving end without reciprocating, people will start to feel used and resentful. Offer a helping hand whenever you can, even if it’s just a small gesture. Showing you care goes a long way in building strong connections.
5. You’re glued to your phone when you’re with other people.
Source: Unsplash In today’s digital age, our phones are practically extensions of ourselves. But constantly checking your notifications while you’re with friends or family sends the message that they’re not your priority. Put your phone away and be present. The virtual world can wait.
6. You’re always late.
Source: Unsplash Being consistently late shows a lack of respect for other people’s time. It’s as if you’re saying their schedule isn’t as important as yours. If you struggle with punctuality, try setting reminders, leaving earlier than you think you need to, or simply being honest about your tendency to run behind.
7. You give unsolicited advice.
Source: Unsplash Unless someone specifically asks for your opinion, resist the urge to offer unsolicited advice. It can come across as judgmental and condescending, even if your intentions are good. If you genuinely want to help, ask them if they’re open to hearing your thoughts before launching into a lecture.
8. You’re overly critical of everyone.
Source: Unsplash We all have flaws, and pointing out someone else’s imperfections doesn’t make yours disappear. Constant criticism can be hurtful and damaging to relationships. Focus on positive reinforcement and constructive feedback instead of tearing people down. Remember, a little kindness goes a long way.
9. You name-drop excessively.
Source: Unsplash Casually mentioning that you had brunch with a celebrity or that you’re BFFs with the CEO of a major company might seem impressive, but it can actually come across as desperate and insecure. Focus on building genuine connections based on shared interests and values, not on your proximity to fame or power.
10. You talk over people to make your point.
Source: Unsplash Raising your voice or interrupting people to assert your opinion is a quick way to make yourself unpopular. It shows a lack of respect for other viewpoints and a disregard for healthy debate. Remember, the loudest voice isn’t always the right one.
11. You’re always the centre of attention.
It’s great to be outgoing and charismatic, but if you constantly try to steal the spotlight, it can be annoying and off-putting. Let people have their moments to shine, and don’t make everything about you. A little humility can go a long way in making you more likeable.
12. You brag about your accomplishments (and downplay everyone else’s).
Sharing your successes is fine, but if you constantly boast about your achievements while downplaying other people’s, it can create resentment and jealousy. Celebrate your wins, but also be genuinely happy for people when they succeed.
13. You gossip and spread rumours.
Talking behind people’s backs is a toxic habit that destroys trust and damages relationships. It makes you seem untrustworthy and unreliable. Focus on building people up, not tearing them down with gossip.
14. You’re always negative and pessimistic.
A little realism is healthy, but constantly focusing on the negative can be draining for those around you. If you’re always expecting the worst, it can create a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom and gloom. Try to find the silver lining in challenging situations, and cultivate a more optimistic outlook.
15. You’re never wrong.
We all make mistakes, but if you refuse to admit when you’re wrong, it can make you seem arrogant and stubborn. Own up to your errors, apologise when necessary, and be willing to learn from your experiences. It shows humility and a willingness to grow.
