Everyone wants to be respected, but respect isn’t given — it has to be earned.
The good news is that getting people to respect you isn’t particularly complicated or difficult. It does, however, mean treating people with kindness and consideration, staying true to yourself, and never doing these things.
1. Always showing up late to meetings and appointments
Chronic lateness sends a clear message that you don’t value other people’s time. Whether it’s a work meeting, a dinner with friends, or a doctor’s appointment, consistently showing up late suggests that you think your time is more important than everyone else’s. It’s disruptive, inconsiderate, and can seriously damage your professional and personal relationships.
2. Talking about people their backs (and never saying anything nice)
Engaging in gossip might feel like a way to bond with people, but it often backfires. Those who hear you speaking negatively about other people will wonder what you say about them when they’re not around. It creates an atmosphere of distrust and makes you appear petty and untrustworthy. People respect those who can discuss issues directly with the person involved, rather than spreading rumours.
3. Making promises you know you can’t keep
Repeatedly failing to follow through on your commitments is a guaranteed way to lose respect. Whether it’s missing deadlines at work or backing out of plans with friends, unreliability makes people question your integrity. It’s better to under-promise and overdeliver than to consistently let people down. If you can’t do something, it’s more respectful to say no upfront than to make a promise you can’t keep.
4. Always interrupting people when they’re speaking
Interrupting shows a lack of respect for people’s thoughts and opinions. It suggests that you believe what you have to say is more important than what anyone else is saying. Good communication involves listening as much as speaking. People respect those who can patiently hear people out, even if they disagree, rather than those who constantly try to dominate the conversation.
5. Taking credit for other people’s work
Claiming credit for someone else’s ideas or efforts is not only dishonest but also deeply disrespectful. It shows a lack of integrity and a willingness to step on other people to get ahead. People respect those who can acknowledge and appreciate other people’s contributions, rather than those who try to inflate their own importance at other people’s expense.
6. Refusing to admit when you’re wrong
Nobody likes to be wrong, but refusing to acknowledge mistakes or accept criticism can make you seem arrogant and closed-minded. People respect those who can admit their errors, learn from them, and move forward. Stubbornly clinging to incorrect positions or refusing to apologise when you’ve made a mistake will quickly destroy people’s respect for you.
7. Treating service workers badly
How you treat people in service positions says a lot about your character. Being rude to waiters, shop assistants, or cleaners shows a lack of basic human decency and suggests you see certain people as beneath you. Those who treat all people with kindness and respect, regardless of their job or social status, earn far more respect themselves.
8. Constantly complaining without taking action
While everyone needs to vent sometimes, constant complaining without any attempt to improve your situation is draining for those around you. It makes you seem negative and powerless. People respect those who can face challenges head-on and take steps to solve problems, rather than those who wallow in negativity and expect other people to fix things for them.
9. Disrespecting other people’s boundaries
Pushing past someone’s clearly stated boundaries shows a lack of respect for their comfort and autonomy. This could involve anything from pressuring someone to drink when they’ve said no, to repeatedly asking personal questions they’ve declined to answer. Respecting people’s boundaries, even if you don’t understand them, is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and earning respect.
10. Always being on your phone when you’re with other people
Constantly checking your phone or scrolling through social media while someone is talking to you is incredibly disrespectful. It sends the message that whatever is happening on your screen is more important than the person in front of you. People respect those who can give their full attention during interactions, which makes people feel valued and heard.
11. Judging people quickly and harshly without knowing their full story
Jumping to conclusions about people based on limited information shows a lack of empathy and open-mindedness. It’s easy to make snap judgments, but people respect those who can reserve their opinions until they have a fuller understanding of a situation. Taking the time to understand different perspectives and experiences before forming judgments is a sign of maturity and wisdom.
12. Avoiding taking responsibility for your actions
Constantly making excuses or blaming other people for your mistakes will make people lose respect for you instantly because it shows a lack of maturity and accountability. People respect those who can own up to their errors, face the consequences, and take steps to do better in the future. Dodging responsibility might seem easier in the short term, but it ultimately damages your reputation and relationships.
13. Being inconsistent in your words and actions
Saying one thing and doing another destroys trust and respect quickly. This could involve anything from not following through on commitments to preaching values you don’t actually live by. Consistency between your words and actions is crucial for maintaining integrity. People respect those whose behaviour aligns with their stated beliefs and promises.
14. Dismissing, invalidating, or belittling people’s feelings
Telling someone they’re overreacting or that their feelings aren’t valid is deeply disrespectful. It shows a lack of empathy and emotional intelligence. Even if you don’t understand or agree with someone’s emotional response, dismissing it outright can damage relationships. People respect those who can acknowledge and validate other people’s feelings, even when they differ from their own.
15. Always trying to one-up people
Source: Unsplash Constantly trying to outdo people or turn every conversation into a competition about your own achievements is off-putting. It suggests insecurity and a need for constant validation. People respect those who can be happy when other people win and share the spotlight, rather than those who always need to be the centre of attention.
16. Refusing to learn or adapt to new situations
Stubbornly clinging to outdated ideas or refusing to adapt to changing circumstances can make you seem close-minded and inflexible. The world is constantly evolving, and people respect those who can grow and learn with it. Being open to new ideas, willing to learn from people, and able to adapt to change are qualities that earn lasting respect.
