Men Who Are Miserable In Life Tend To Do These 18 Things

Life is tough, and staying upbeat and positive isn’t exactly easy.

While mental health is extremely serious, it’s not always easy to reach out for help, especially for men. There’s still a stigma around admitting that you’re struggling, and it’s having a seriously detrimental effect. However, if you notice any of these behaviours in the men in your life, they’re clearly pretty miserable.

1. They constantly compare their lives to social media.

Social media isn’t real life, but miserable men often forget this. They scroll endlessly through carefully curated highlights of other people’s lives, convincing themselves that everyone else has it better. This obsessive comparison fuels feelings of inadequacy and resentment. Instead of focusing on their own growth and achievements, they waste time and energy fixating on what everyone else is accomplishing. This behaviour creates a distorted view of reality and perpetuates a cycle of dissatisfaction.

2. They neglect their physical health.

Miserable men often let their physical health slide. They skip meals or binge on junk food, avoid exercise, and neglect regular check-ups. This isn’t just about appearance; it’s about overall well-being. Poor physical health contributes to low energy, mood swings, and decreased self-esteem. It becomes a vicious cycle: feeling bad leads to neglecting health, which in turn makes them feel worse. Breaking this pattern requires recognising the connection between physical and mental health and taking small, consistent steps towards improvement.

3. They avoid meaningful conversations.

When men are truly unhappy, they often shy away from deep, meaningful conversations. They stick to surface-level chats about sports, weather, or work, avoiding any topics that might reveal their inner turmoil. This avoidance stems from fear of vulnerability or admitting that something’s wrong. By dodging real conversations, they miss out on opportunities for connection, support, and personal growth. It’s a defence mechanism that ultimately leaves them feeling more isolated and misunderstood.

4. They overcommit to work.

Burying themselves in work is a classic avoidance tactic for miserable men. They take on extra projects, work late hours, and bring work home regularly. While it might look like dedication from the outside, it’s often a way to escape dealing with personal issues or unhappiness at home. This overcommitment to work comes at the expense of personal relationships, hobbies, and self-care. It’s a short-term distraction that leads to burnout and further unhappiness in the long run.

5. They become overly critical of everything.

Misery loves company, and miserable men often try to bring people down to their level through constant criticism. They find fault in everything — from their partner’s cooking to a colleague’s presentation style. This behaviour stems from their own insecurities and dissatisfaction. By focusing on the negatives in everything around them, they create a toxic environment that pushes people away. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that reinforces their belief that the world is a terrible place.

6. They neglect personal hygiene.

guy sitting in chair in garden — Unsplash

When men are deeply unhappy, their personal appearance often takes a hit. This goes beyond the occasional lazy day — it’s a consistent pattern of neglect. They might stop shaving regularly, wear the same clothes for days, or skip showers. This neglect isn’t just about looking unkempt; it’s a visible sign of giving up on oneself. It reflects a lack of self-respect and care, and can significantly impact how other people might see and interact with them, further fuelling their isolation and unhappiness.

7. They develop a pessimistic world view.

Miserable men tend to see the world through a persistently negative lens. They expect the worst in every situation and dismiss positive experiences as flukes. This pessimism becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, colouring their interactions and decisions. They might pass up opportunities because they’re convinced they’ll fail, or sabotage relationships because they’re waiting for things to go wrong. This world-view not only affects their own life but can also drain and alienate those around them.

8. They engage in reckless behaviour.

Some unhappy men turn to reckless behaviour as a way to feel something — anything. This might involve dangerous driving, excessive gambling, or engaging in risky sexual behaviour. It’s not about enjoyment; it’s about escaping their emotional numbness or trying to fill a void. This behaviour can lead to serious consequences, from legal troubles to health issues. It’s a cry for help disguised as thrill-seeking, and it often pushes away the very people who could offer support.

9. They become overly dependent on alcohol or substances.

While not exclusive to miserable men, increased reliance on alcohol or other substances is a common coping mechanism. It starts as a way to numb feelings or escape reality, but quickly becomes a crutch. This dependency can lead to health problems, strained relationships, and professional setbacks. It’s a temporary fix that creates long-term problems, deepening the cycle of unhappiness. Recognising this dependency is crucial for breaking free from misery and finding healthier ways to cope.

10. They isolate themselves from friends and family.

Miserable men often withdraw from their social circles. They decline invitations, stop reaching out to friends, and distance themselves from family. This isolation isn’t about needing alone time; it’s a harmful pattern of avoidance. By cutting off social connections, they deprive themselves of support, different perspectives, and positive experiences. This self-imposed exile reinforces feelings of loneliness and can lead to a downward spiral of depression and anxiety.

11. They become overly possessive or controlling in relationships.

Unhappiness can manifest as possessiveness or controlling behaviour in relationships. These men might constantly check their partner’s phone, discourage independent activities, or become irrationally jealous. This behaviour stems from insecurity and fear of abandonment. It’s a misguided attempt to secure their relationship, but it often has the opposite effect, pushing their partner away and creating a toxic dynamic that further fuels their misery.

12. They lose interest in hobbies and passions.

Once-enjoyed activities become a chore for miserable men. They abandon hobbies, stop pursuing passions, and lose interest in things that used to bring them joy. This isn’t just about growing out of old interests; it’s a complete disengagement from activities that could provide fulfilment and stress relief. By giving up these outlets, they remove important sources of personal satisfaction and self-expression from their lives, further narrowing their world.

13. They develop extreme political views.

Some unhappy men channel their frustration into extreme political ideologies. They might become obsessed with conspiracy theories or adopt radical viewpoints. This shift isn’t about genuine political engagement; it’s a way to externalise their internal unhappiness. By blaming societal forces for their problems, they avoid taking responsibility for their own lives. This behaviour can alienate friends and family who don’t share these views, further isolating them.

14. They become financially irresponsible.

Financial recklessness is another sign of a man in crisis. This might involve impulsive large purchases, accumulating credit card debt, or neglecting bills and financial obligations. It’s not about poor money management skills; it’s a form of self-sabotage. These men might be trying to fill an emotional void with material things or subconsciously punishing themselves. This behaviour creates additional stress and can have long-lasting consequences on their financial stability.

15. They obsess over past mistakes or missed opportunities.

Miserable men often get stuck ruminating over past failures or “what ifs.” They replay old mistakes, dwell on missed chances, and fantasise about how life could have been different. This obsession with the past prevents them from engaging fully with the present or planning for the future. It’s a form of mental self-torture that keeps them trapped in a cycle of regret and inaction, unable to move forward or make positive changes in their current life.

16. They neglect their living space.

The state of a man’s living space often reflects his mental state. Miserable men might let their homes become cluttered, dirty, or disorganised. This goes beyond being messy; it’s a complete disregard for their environment. Dishes pile up, laundry goes unwashed, and basic maintenance is ignored. This neglect creates a chaotic, depressing atmosphere that further contributes to their negative mindset. It’s both a symptom of their unhappiness and a factor that perpetuates it.

17. They become hyper-focused on their physical appearance.

While some unhappy men neglect their appearance, others become obsessively focused on it. They might spend hours at the gym, fixate on diets, or constantly criticise their body. This isn’t about health or self-improvement; it’s a misguided attempt to control something in their lives. The obsession can lead to body dysmorphia, eating disorders, or the use of dangerous supplements. It’s a physical manifestation of their internal dissatisfaction and a distraction from addressing the real issues causing their unhappiness.