Being in a relationship with someone who’s bisexual shouldn’t be any different from loving anyone else.
However, society throws a lot of unspoken insecurities into the mix—ones that aren’t always easy to admit. Even the most secure, open-minded people can find themselves wrestling with doubts or fears they didn’t expect. The key isn’t to suppress these feelings, but to understand them, talk about them, and work through them in a healthy way. Here are some of the more common insecurities people may face when loving a bisexual partner, even if they don’t always say them out loud.
1. Wondering if they’ll “miss” something they can’t get from you
One of the biggest misconceptions about bisexuality is that attraction to multiple genders means needing multiple partners to feel satisfied. This can lead to the insecurity that you might not be “enough” for them. But the reality is, just like anyone else, bisexual people choose a partner because they love them, not because they feel incomplete without dating every gender they’re attracted to.
2. Feeling like you’re being compared to past partners
It’s normal to be curious about your partner’s exes, but when your bisexual partner has dated people of different genders, the comparisons can feel heightened. You might catch yourself wondering if they enjoyed being with a man more, or if dating a woman was different in a way you can’t compete with. But attraction isn’t a competition—every relationship is unique, and your partner is with you because of who you are, not because of how you compare to someone else.
3. The fear that people won’t take your relationship seriously
Bisexuality is often misunderstood, and that means people sometimes make assumptions about bisexual relationships. You might worry that other people think your relationship is just a phase, or that your partner will eventually “choose a side.” The truth is, their attraction to more than one gender doesn’t make your relationship any less real; it just means love isn’t limited by gender for them.
4. Dealing with stereotypes about bisexuality and cheating
One of the most damaging myths about bisexuality is that being attracted to multiple genders means being more likely to cheat. If this thought has ever crossed your mind, you’re not alone—it’s a common insecurity that comes from years of harmful stereotypes. But just like monosexual people, bisexual people are capable of committed, faithful relationships, and their orientation has nothing to do with whether or not they’ll stay loyal.
5. Wondering if they’ll eventually “choose” a different kind of relationship
Society often frames bisexuality as a stepping stone to something else, rather than a valid identity on its own. This can lead to a nagging fear that your partner will one day realise they prefer a different type of relationship and leave. But bisexuality isn’t a phase, and if they’ve chosen to be with you, it’s because they want to, not because they’re unsure of what they want.
6. Feeling like you have to “prove” your worth more
If your partner has more dating options in terms of gender, it’s easy to feel like you have to work harder to keep their interest. You might worry that if you don’t measure up in some way, they’ll look elsewhere. But attraction doesn’t work like that—relationships thrive on emotional connection, shared values, and compatibility, not on who ticks the most boxes.
7. The pressure to be “cool” and unbothered by their past
There’s often an expectation that being with a bisexual partner means being effortlessly confident and never feeling jealous or insecure. This can make it harder to admit when you’re struggling with certain feelings. But no one is completely immune to insecurity, and the healthiest relationships are the ones where both partners can be honest and work through those feelings together.
8. Worrying about how friends and family will react
If your family or social circle holds outdated views on bisexuality, you might worry about how they’ll treat your partner, or even how they’ll see your relationship. Some people wrongly assume bisexual relationships are less serious or more likely to fail. But your relationship isn’t defined by anyone else’s opinions, and over time, the people who truly care about you will see the love and commitment you share.
9. The fear of being a placeholder
If your partner has never dated someone of your gender before, you might wonder if they’re just “trying something new” with you. It’s a subtle but real insecurity that stems from the way bisexuality is often treated as experimental rather than genuine. But if they’re in a relationship with you, it’s because they care about you—not because you’re just a curiosity or a temporary phase.
10. Struggling with how media portrays bisexual relationships
Pop culture doesn’t always do a great job of representing bisexual people, often reinforcing stereotypes that can creep into real-life insecurities. Movies and TV shows sometimes depict bisexual characters as unfaithful, confused, or unable to commit. It’s important to remember that these are just harmful clichés, not reflections of your actual relationship.
11. Worrying that they’ll get tired of defending their identity
Because bisexuality is often misunderstood, bisexual people sometimes feel pressure to “prove” their identity—even to their own partners. If they’ve dealt with biphobia or scepticism in the past, you might worry that they’ll eventually get tired of having to explain themselves. Supporting your partner and validating their identity can go a long way in making them feel safe and seen in your relationship.
12. Navigating different experiences and dating histories
Depending on their past, your partner might have had relationships that looked very different from yours, and that can bring up feelings of uncertainty. You might wonder how your dynamic compares to what they’ve had before, especially if your relationship structure feels new to them. But everyone’s relationship is different, and what matters most is the connection you’re building together now.
13. Realising that communication is more important than assumptions
At the end of the day, most of these insecurities stem from assumptions rather than reality. The best way to work through them is to have open, honest conversations with your partner instead of letting doubts fester. When both of you feel safe expressing your feelings, insecurities lose their power, and your relationship grows stronger because of it.
