When you’re in a relationship, your partner is pretty high up on your list of priorities in life, and rightly so.
You want to build a life with them, so you’re totally invested in making that happen and keeping your connection strong and healthy. When your partner isn’t on the same page and is happy to let you do the heavy lifting while they give the bare minimum, it’s disheartening at best and downright destructive at worst. Here’s how you know your partner isn’t as invested in a shared future as you are — and when it might be time to cut ties.
1. They’re always too busy for you.
If your partner is constantly too busy to make time for you, it’s a red flag. While life can get hectic, consistent unavailability might suggest a lack of interest. Relationships require effort, and if they’re not willing to put in the time, it’s worth considering if their priorities are elsewhere.
2. They don’t remember important details about you.
If your partner frequently forgets things that matter to you—like your favourite food or important milestones—it may indicate they’re not fully invested. Being attentive and remembering these little things shows that they care enough to be engaged with your life. A lack of this kind of attention suggests a disconnection.
3. They avoid serious conversations about the future.
A partner who isn’t fully invested might dodge any talk about the future, whether it’s about long-term goals or commitments. If they shut down discussions about the next steps in your relationship, it could be a sign they’re not as committed as you are. Communication about the future is key to building a lasting connection.
4. They make you feel like an afterthought.
When your partner only reaches out when it’s convenient for them, it can leave you feeling like an afterthought. Being treated as a priority rather than an option is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. If they don’t put you first, their level of commitment may be lacking.
5. They don’t put in the effort during tough times.
A partner who’s genuinely invested will show up when things get hard. If your partner withdraws during challenging moments, whether emotionally or physically, it suggests they’re not fully engaged. Relationships require mutual support, especially in difficult times, and if they’re not stepping up, it can be a sign that they aren’t fully committed.
6. They don’t take responsibility for their actions.
In a committed relationship, both partners need to take responsibility for their actions. If your partner consistently deflects blame and refuses to acknowledge their mistakes, it suggests they aren’t fully invested. Accountability is key to any healthy relationship, and avoiding it can indicate a lack of emotional investment.
7. They avoid physical affection.
While everyone has different love languages, avoiding physical affection altogether can signal a lack of interest. Whether it’s hugs, kisses, or just holding hands, physical touch helps strengthen emotional bonds. If they’re pulling away or not initiating affection, it might be a sign they’re not as emotionally invested as you are.
8. They seem distracted when you’re together.
Being in the same room doesn’t always mean being emotionally present. If your partner constantly checks their phone, watches TV, or seems distracted during conversations, it’s a sign they’re not fully engaged. A committed partner will make an effort to connect and focus when spending time with you, not just physically present but mentally too.
9. They don’t care about your feelings.
In a committed relationship, both partners should care deeply about each other’s emotional well-being. If your partner dismisses or downplays your feelings regularly, it shows a lack of empathy and investment. Genuine care for your emotions is a vital part of any strong relationship, and ignoring them suggests a lack of commitment.
10. They don’t try to make things right after an argument.
Disagreements are normal in any relationship, but if your partner doesn’t make any effort to resolve conflict or make things right, it can signal a lack of investment. A person who truly cares about you will want to resolve tension and ensure you’re both on the same page. If they don’t care enough to make things better, it’s a warning sign.
11. They avoid talking about your relationship.
If your partner avoids discussions about your relationship—whether it’s the good, the bad, or the in-between—it may indicate they’re not fully committed. Healthy relationships thrive on communication, and if they’re unwilling to talk about the status of your bond, they might not be as invested as you are.
12. They don’t support your goals or ambitions.
Support and encouragement are vital in any healthy relationship. If your partner doesn’t care about your dreams, goals, or aspirations, it can be a sign they’re not fully invested. A true partner will want to see you succeed and will cheer you on every step of the way.
13. They make little or no effort to connect emotionally.
If your partner isn’t interested in having deeper conversations or sharing their own feelings, it can feel like they’re emotionally unavailable. An emotionally invested partner will try to connect on a deeper level and create a safe space for both partners to express vulnerability. If they’re keeping their emotions closed off, it suggests a lack of emotional investment.
14. They don’t include you in their plans.
A partner who is invested in the relationship will naturally want to include you in their future plans, whether it’s big events or small day-to-day things. If they constantly make plans without consulting you or seem to forget about you when scheduling things, it’s a sign they’re not prioritising your relationship.
15. They don’t show any effort to understand you.
Mutual understanding and empathy are crucial in a healthy relationship. If your partner isn’t making an effort to understand your needs, desires, or even your perspective on things, it shows they aren’t fully invested. True commitment comes from a place of deep understanding and willingness to grow together, not just individually.
