Your family members are meant to be your biggest cheerleaders, but things don’t always pan out that way.
You land that dream job, achieve a personal milestone, or simply experience a bit of happiness, and instead of cheers, you’re met with lukewarm responses or even a tinge of jealousy from your family. It’s frustrating, confusing, and a bit painful, but you shouldn’t let it get you down. When it happens to you, here’s how to cope.
1. Let yourself feel your feelings.
It’s perfectly normal to feel hurt, disappointed, or even angry when your family doesn’t share your joy. Don’t suppress these emotions; let yourself experience them fully. Processing what’s going on inside of you is a must if you want to be able to move past it and heal.
2. Try to understand their perspective.
While their behaviour isn’t excusable, try to understand the reasons behind their lack of enthusiasm. Maybe they’re dealing with their own insecurities or have a different definition of success. Understanding their perspective can help you be a bit more empathetic, even if you don’t agree with their viewpoint.
3. Communicate what you need and see how they respond.
If you’re feeling hurt or unsupported, express your feelings to your family. Explain how their lack of enthusiasm impacts you and what kind of support you’d appreciate. Be clear and assertive, but avoid blaming or accusing them. If they truly care about you, as they should, they’ll want to do something to change the dynamic betwen you.
4. Don’t look for their validation.
Your self-worth shouldn’t depend on your family’s approval. Work on cementing a strong sense of self and celebrate your achievements, regardless of their reactions. Remember, your happiness and success are not contingent on their validation.
5. Set boundaries for your own protection.
If certain family members consistently dampen your spirits, it’s okay to limit your time with them. You have the right to protect your mental and emotional health, and create a positive environment for yourself.
6. Find your cheer squad.
Surround yourself with friends, mentors, or colleagues who are genuinely thrilled for your success and support your dreams. Their positive energy will uplift you and remind you that you have people in your corner who believe in you.
7. Focus on your own happiness.
Don’t let your family’s negativity derail your own happiness. Continue to pursue your goals, celebrate your achievements, and live a life that brings you joy and fulfilment. Your happiness is your responsibility, and you deserve to experience it fully. If they don’t like it, tough. Their loss!
8. Don’t give up on them (if you don’t want to).
If you still value the relationship with your family, don’t give up on them completely. Continue to show them love and support, even if they don’t always reciprocate. Sometimes, people need time to adjust and grow, and your consistent presence might encourage positive change.
9. Lead by example.
Demonstrate what it means to be genuinely happy for people. Celebrate when they achieve something big or small, offer them support, and express how proud you are of their accomplishments. Your positive attitude and behaviour might inspire them to reciprocate and create a more supportive environment for everyone.
10. Don’t compare yourself to their expectations.
Your family might have certain expectations or ideas about what your life should look like. Resist the urge to measure your worth against their vision. Embrace your own path, even if it deviates from their expectations. Your life is your own, and you have the right to define success on your own terms.
11. Focus on the positive aspects of your relationship.
Even if your family struggles to celebrate your successes, there might be other good things about their presence in your life. Focus on those strengths and cherish the moments of connection and love. Remember, no relationship is perfect, and it’s okay to have limitations within your family dynamics.
12. Consider going to therapy.
If dealing with your family’s lack of support is taking a toll on your mental health, reach out to a therapist or counsellor. They can provide you with coping strategies and help you navigate these complex family dynamics. Having a neutral and supportive person to talk to can be incredibly beneficial.
13. Look after yourself.
Prioritise your own mental and emotional health. Do things that make you happy, spend time with supportive people, and make time for relaxation and self-reflection. Taking care of yourself is so important for maintaining your resilience and inner strength.
14. Set realistic expectations.
It’s important to understand that not everyone will be your biggest cheerleader, even within your own family. Accept that some people might struggle to express their happiness for you, and that’s okay. Focus on those who genuinely support you and celebrate your wins.
15. Remember, your happiness is your responsibility.
Ultimately, your happiness is in your own hands. Don’t let your family’s reactions dictate your self-worth or dampen your spirit. Embrace your achievements, pursue your dreams, and surround yourself with people who lift you up and inspire you. Your happiness is a precious gift, and you deserve to cherish and protect it.
