Attracting quality people — those who are confident, driven, and emotionally intelligent — starts with you.
You attract what you put out there, so to speak. That means that if you want to build strong connections with some great people, it might be time to drop a few behaviours that could be holding you back. If you have any of these habits, you’ll need to get rid of them in order to attract the kind of people who elevate your life.
1. Constantly complaining
We all need to vent sometimes, but if complaining is your default setting, it can drive away high-quality people. Top-tier individuals are drawn to optimism and solutions, not endless negativity. Chronic complaining can make you seem stuck or powerless. Try focusing on finding solutions and acknowledging what’s going well. Positivity attracts people who want to grow, not stay stuck.
2. Seeking validation from everyone
If you constantly need outside approval to feel good about yourself, it signals insecurity. Top-tier people are drawn to confidence and self-assurance. When you rely on external validation, you give away your power. Focus on trusting your own judgment and valuing your own opinions. Self-validation is magnetic, and those who respect themselves naturally attract respect from other people.
3. Gossiping about people behind their backs
Gossip might feel like harmless fun, but it sends a clear message: if you talk about people behind their backs, you’ll do the same to anyone. Top-tier people value trust and integrity. When they see you spreading rumours or negativity, they’ll assume you lack both. Instead, engage in meaningful conversations and speak positively about other people. It shows maturity and builds trust.
4. Procrastinating on your goals
Putting off your dreams and tasks doesn’t just hold you back — it repels motivated, driven people. Top-tier individuals are attracted to action-takers who follow through. Procrastination signals a lack of commitment and direction. Start breaking goals into smaller, manageable steps and tackle them consistently. Progress, even if it’s slow, shows determination and attracts people who share your ambition.
5. Playing the victim
Life isn’t always fair, but constantly blaming everyone else for your situation keeps you stuck. Top-tier people value accountability and resilience. When you play the victim, you radiate helplessness instead of strength. Take responsibility for your choices and focus on what you can control. Empowerment is attractive, and people respect those who own their story.
6. Over-apologising
Saying “sorry” when you genuinely need to is important, but over-apologising for things that don’t warrant it can make you seem insecure. Top-tier people appreciate confidence and self-respect. Instead of apologising unnecessarily, practise standing by your thoughts, opinions, and actions. Own your space without feeling the need to shrink or justify yourself constantly.
7. Neglecting your health and well-being
If you don’t prioritise your physical and mental health, it can send the message that you don’t value yourself. Top-tier people are drawn to those who take care of themselves because self-care reflects self-respect. You don’t have to be a fitness guru, but small habits like regular exercise, balanced eating, and sleep show that you prioritise well-being. Energy and vibrancy are contagious.
8. Making excuses instead of taking action
Constantly explaining why you *can’t* do something gets old quickly. Top-tier people are solution-focused and action-oriented. They respect those who find ways to make things happen, not those who list reasons why they can’t. Instead of defaulting to excuses, ask yourself what small step you can take. Action, no matter how small, is a sign of strength.
9. Comparing yourself to other people
Endlessly measuring your progress against someone else’s is a guaranteed way to lower your self-esteem. Top-tier people know that everyone has their own journey. When you focus on your path and celebrate your wins, no matter how small, it shows confidence and self-awareness. Avoid comparison traps and focus on becoming the best version of yourself.
10. Being inconsistent
Flaky behaviour or lack of follow-through can push away reliable, high-quality people. Top-tier individuals respect consistency because it shows reliability and integrity. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. Whether it’s keeping plans or pursuing goals, showing up consistently proves that you can be trusted — and trust attracts trust.
11. Constantly looking for (or even causing) drama
If your life feels like a constant soap opera, it might be because you’re unknowingly drawn to drama. Top-tier people avoid unnecessary conflict and chaos. They value peace, clarity, and meaningful interactions. Instead of feeding into drama, focus on calm and constructive communication. A drama-free life is a magnet for those who value stability.
12. Clinging to comfort zones
Sticking to what’s familiar might feel safe, but it limits growth. Top-tier people are often drawn to those who challenge themselves and try new things. Stepping outside your comfort zone shows courage and curiosity. Take small risks, explore new hobbies, or start that project you’ve been avoiding. Growth attracts people who are also on a path of self-improvement.
13. Refusing to have awkward or tough (but necessary) conversations
Dodging tough discussions might seem like keeping the peace, but it signals a lack of communication skills. Top-tier people value honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable. Facing difficult conversations shows emotional maturity and respect for other people. Practise expressing your thoughts calmly and directly. Being open and clear attracts people who appreciate authenticity.
14. Letting fear of failure stop you
Fear of failing can keep you paralysed, but avoiding risks means avoiding growth. Top-tier people admire those who try, fail, and keep going. Taking chances and learning from mistakes shows resilience and strength. Don’t let the fear of failure hold you back — embrace it as part of the process. When you take risks, you inspire other people to do the same.
