Do you often feel taken advantage of, disrespected, or like your needs always come last?
Source: Envato Elements You may be letting people walk all over you without even realising it. Standing up for yourself is hard, but it’s essential for your self-respect and well-being. Have a look at these 15 behaviours and see if any sound familiar — if so, it’s time to make a change.
You apologise constantly, even when you did nothing wrong.
Excessive apologising makes you look weak, insecure, and overly submissive. Save apologies for when you’ve actually done something wrong. Don’t say sorry just for taking up space, having an opinion, or because someone else is in a bad mood. Own your actions and words without constantly begging for forgiveness.
You’re always the one to compromise or give in.
Relationships require give and take, but if you’re always the one giving in while everyone else always gets their way, something’s wrong. You teach people that your needs don’t matter when you never advocate for them. Sometimes you need to dig your heels in and insist on a fair compromise instead of being the one to fold every single time.
You let people interrupt you constantly.
Do friends and family talk over you, cut you off mid-sentence, and generally act like what you have to say doesn’t matter? Stop letting them. Keep talking, even if they try to interrupt or jump in and say, “Please let me finish.” Demand to be heard and don’t put up with this rude behaviour.
You let people take credit for your ideas and work.
Few things are more infuriating than having a coworker or classmate steal your idea and pass it off as their own. But if you don’t speak up, you’re teaching them that it’s okay to take advantage of you. Set the record straight and make it clear that you expect credit for your contributions. Track your work so you can prove it’s yours.
You’re the one who always picks up the slack.
Every team project seems to end up with you doing all the work while everyone else slacks off. Why? Because you’ve shown you’ll pick up the slack to get it done. Stop being the pushover who does it all. Make it clear upfront what you will contribute and what you expect from people. Call out those who don’t pull their weight.
You change yourself to please everyone else.
Source: Unsplash Do you mould your personality, appearance, interests, and opinions to fit what you think people want? Stop being a chameleon and be your authentic self. Real friends will like you for who you are. It’s exhausting and unsustainable to constantly shape-shift to please people. You’ll end up losing yourself in the process.
You’re afraid to say no.
Source: Unsplash If you’re terrified of disappointing people or making them mad, you probably say yes to things you don’t want to do. This breeds resentment and exhaustion. Get comfortable saying no sometimes. Set boundaries and communicate them clearly. People who truly care about you will respect your no.
You don’t speak up when something bothers you.
Source: Unsplash Keeping quiet to keep the peace only leads to built up anger and frustration. People aren’t mind-readers — if something bothers you, say so. Learn to calmly and clearly express your feelings and needs. Staying silent and stewing in resentment doesn’t solve anything. Healthy relationships require open communication.
You let toxic people remain in your life.
Source: Unsplash Do you put up with friends who put you down, take advantage of you, or treat you like dirt? Stop making excuses for their bad behaviour. You deserve so much better. Toxic people will suck the life out of you if you let them. Cut ties with people who make you feel bad about yourself. Surround yourself with positive people who lift you up.
You don’t ask for what you need or want.
Source: Unsplash Expecting people to magically anticipate your needs and desires is a recipe for disappointment. Be direct and ask for what you want, whether it’s help on a project, emotional support, or something else. Most people aren’t selfish or uncaring — they just need you to clearly communicate your needs. And if they still don’t step up, you know where you stand.
You make excuses for other people’s bad behaviour.
Source: Unsplash When someone treats you poorly, do you concoct elaborate justifications for their behaviour? Stop doing mental gymnastics to let people off the hook. Barring extreme circumstances, most people know exactly what they’re doing. Excusing it just gives them permission to keep mistreating you. Hold people accountable for their actions.
You tolerate disrespect.
Source: Unsplash Insults, put-downs, hurtful sarcasm, dismissiveness, ignoring you — these are all forms of disrespect that you shouldn’t tolerate from anyone. Stand up for yourself and demand to be treated with respect. People treat you how you allow them to. Show them disrespect is unacceptable, and you won’t put up with it for a second. Walk away from those who refuse to change.
You diminish your own accomplishments and talent.
Source: Unsplash Downplaying your skills and achievements sends the message that you’re unworthy of respect and fair treatment. Own your talents and successes! Don’t minimize the hard work and ability it took to get where you are. Humblebragging and self-deprecation won’t win you any points. It just makes people think they can devalue and take advantage of you.
You don’t set or enforce clear boundaries.
Source: Unsplash Without boundaries, people will push and take as much as they can get away with. Decide what your deal-breakers and limits are. Then clearly communicate these boundaries to other people. Most importantly, follow through with consequences when people cross your boundaries. Empty threats are meaningless — you must be willing to enforce your boundaries, or they won’t be respected.
You worry more about being nice than being respected.
Source: Unsplash Never confuse being kind with being a pushover. It’s wonderful to be friendly, compassionate, and agreeable. But when you care more about being liked than being treated fairly, you teach people that you’re a doormat. It’s okay to rock the boat sometimes by standing up for yourself. Real respect is more important than superficial niceness.
