Ever had a conversation with someone where you felt truly heard and understood? Like they were hanging on to your every word and genuinely cared about what you had to say? Those are the magical conversationalists, the ones who make you feel valued and connected. It’s not always about charisma or wit; it’s about the specific phrases they use and the way they engage with you. Here are some tell-tale signs that you’re talking to a great listener.
1. “Tell me more about that.”
This is simple, but it shows genuine interest and encourages you to elaborate on your thoughts and feelings. It’s not just a polite filler; it’s an invitation to share more of yourself, to go deeper into the conversation. It signals that they value your perspective and want to understand your experiences more fully.
2. “I hear you.”
This phrase goes beyond just listening; it’s about acknowledging and validating your feelings. It shows that they’re not just passively absorbing information, but actively empathising with your emotions. It creates a sense of connection and understanding, letting you know that your thoughts and feelings matter.
3. “How did that make you feel?”
This question shows that they’re not just interested in the facts of your story, but also in your emotional experience. They want to know how you felt, what you thought, and how it affected you. This emotional connection is what makes a conversation truly meaningful and memorable.
4. “I understand what you’re saying.”
This phrase acknowledges that they’ve grasped the essence of your message. It’s a subtle way of saying, “I get you,” and it creates a sense of connection and validation. It shows that they’re not just listening to you, but actively trying to understand your perspective.
5. “That sounds really challenging/exciting/interesting.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase shows that they’re engaged with your story and genuinely interested in what you have to say. They’re not just nodding along politely; they’re actively reacting to your words and showing empathy for your experiences.
6. “I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this.”
Source: Unsplash This open-ended question invites you to share your opinions and insights. It shows that they value your perspective and are eager to learn from you. It also creates a more collaborative and engaging conversation, where both parties feel heard and valued.
7. “I appreciate you sharing this with me.”
This phrase expresses gratitude for your openness and vulnerability. It shows that they value your trust and appreciate you sharing your thoughts and feelings with them. It also creates a safe space for you to continue sharing, knowing that you’re being heard and respected.
8. They nod, smile, and make eye contact while you’re speaking.
These non-verbal cues demonstrate active listening and engagement. They show that they’re not just hearing you, but also paying attention to your facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice. This non-verbal communication creates a sense of connection and makes you feel like you’re truly being heard.
9. They repeat or summarise what you said.
Source: Unsplash A good listener will often repeat or summarise what you’ve said to make sure they understand correctly. This shows that they’re paying attention and that they care about getting it right. It can also help clarify any misunderstandings and ensure that you’re both on the same page.
10. They ask follow-up questions.
Source: Unsplash They don’t just let the conversation drop after you’ve finished speaking. They ask follow-up questions to dig deeper, clarify details, or show their interest in your topic. This indicates that they’re truly engaged in the conversation and want to learn more.
11. They don’t offer unsolicited advice or solutions.
A good listener knows that sometimes, you just need to vent or talk things through without being told what to do. They resist the urge to jump in with solutions or advice, unless you specifically ask for it. They understand that sometimes, the best thing they can do is just listen and be there for you.
12. They validate your feelings.
They acknowledge and respect your emotions, even if they don’t fully understand them. They might say things like, “That sounds really frustrating” or “I can see why you’d be upset.” This validation makes you feel heard and understood, which is a key component of good communication.
13. They’re not afraid of silence.
A good listener isn’t uncomfortable with silence. They know that sometimes, a pause in the conversation can be just as meaningful as words. They don’t feel the need to fill every moment with chatter, and they’re comfortable allowing the conversation to flow naturally.
14. They make eye contact and nod along while you’re speaking.
These non-verbal cues indicate that they’re paying attention and engaged in the conversation. It shows that they’re not just waiting for their turn to talk, but actively listening to what you have to say. This makes you feel valued and appreciated, and it encourages you to open up and share more.
15. They remember details from your previous conversations.
Source: Unsplash A great listener doesn’t just hear you in the moment; they also remember what you’ve said in the past. They might bring up something you mentioned in a previous conversation, showing that they were truly listening and that your words made an impression on them. This can make you feel valued and appreciated, knowing that someone cares enough to remember the details of your life.
