Everyone drops an excuse now and then, but when it becomes a pattern, there’s a bigger issue at play.
You shouldn’t have to wonder if someone’s going to follow through with their word or if they’ll let you down, yet again, when they say they’re going to do something or be somewhere. Unfortunately, these are the phrases people often use when they don’t show up consistently—and probably won’t. You’re better off not relying on them because you’ll only be disappointed in the end.
1. “Something came up last minute.”
This one gets tossed around constantly, and after the third or fourth time, it starts to lose meaning. Life happens, sure, but when it always happens right before plans, it’s a red flag. People who genuinely want to be somewhere usually find a way, not an excuse. If someone’s always bailing because of last-minute chaos, it’s worth asking if they’re actually interested or just trying to keep you as a backup plan. Unreliable people love vague reasons because they’re hard to question.
2. “I completely forgot.”
Source: Unsplash Forgetting once in a while is human. But forgetting every time there’s a commitment? That’s not forgetfulness, it’s a lack of care. When something matters to you, you don’t forget it over and over. It might not sound dramatic, but being constantly “forgotten” stings. It tells you exactly where you rank on someone’s list of priorities, and it’s usually not very high.
3. “I meant to get back to you.”
Source: Unsplash This pops up after they ghost your texts, miss a deadline, or leave you hanging. It’s the classic cover for not following through, dressed up to sound polite. Of course, it rarely holds up if it keeps happening. When someone values you, they don’t leave you on read and blame it on forgetfulness later. They make the effort, even if it’s small, to respond or check in without prompting.
4. “I’m just really bad at planning.”
It sounds harmless enough, but it’s often used to dodge responsibility. Being “bad at planning” doesn’t excuse being flaky, forgetting commitments, or showing up late all the time. At some point, it’s not about ability; it’s about effort. If someone regularly uses this as a pass, they’re showing you they won’t go out of their way to meet you halfway. You shouldn’t have to carry the entire weight of making things happen.
5. “I didn’t think it was a big deal.”
Source: Unsplash Maybe they cancelled plans, dropped the ball, or missed something important—and this is how they brush it off. But just because it wasn’t a big deal to them doesn’t mean it didn’t matter to you. This excuse puts all the emotional weight back on you. It’s a subtle way of invalidating your expectations while avoiding accountability. Reliable people don’t minimise things that clearly matter to other people.
6. “I’ve just been super busy.”
Source: Unsplash We’re all busy, but somehow, reliable people still manage to reply, show up, or reschedule when needed. When someone’s always too busy, what they really mean is, “This wasn’t important enough for me to make time.” It’s one of those go-to excuses that sounds understandable, but often means your time is just not a priority. If they’re always “too busy,” the truth might be they just don’t care enough.
7. “That’s just how I am.”
Source: Unsplash This one is meant to shut down the conversation. It’s a lazy way of saying, “I’m not going to change,” even if their behaviour is causing frustration or disappointment. It’s more about avoidance than explanation. When someone uses this line regularly, they’re asking you to lower your expectations instead of meeting a standard of respect. After a while, that eats away at the trust in any relationship.
8. “I didn’t realise it mattered so much to you.”
Source: Unsplash It’s another soft-sounding excuse that often shows up after they’ve let you down. It puts the blame on miscommunication rather than their own actions. But let’s be real—people usually know when something is important to someone they care about. That excuse protects them from responsibility while painting you as overly sensitive. But reliable people pay attention. They notice when something matters, and they act accordingly.
9. “I thought I told you.”
This pops up when plans fall through or there’s confusion, except you know for a fact they didn’t say anything. It’s a way to make the mess your fault instead of owning up to poor communication. It’s a subtle deflection. And when it happens often, it creates a dynamic where you’re constantly second-guessing yourself and picking up the slack. That’s not what dependable looks like.
10. “I was going to do it later.”
This one’s common when someone hasn’t followed through on something they said they’d handle. They weren’t trying to ignore it, they just hadn’t “got around to it yet.” Sounds reasonable—until it keeps happening. Eventually, later never comes. It’s a way to buy time without taking real action. Reliable people do what they say without being chased for it. The ones who always delay are usually just stalling.
11. “I thought we were being chill about it.”
They use this one to gloss over missed plans, lateness, or total radio silence. “Being chill” becomes their go-to defence for not showing up like they said they would. The truth is, there’s nothing wrong with relaxed vibes—unless it’s code for unreliability. If being laid-back only works in their favour, it’s probably just an excuse to keep things one-sided.
12. “I didn’t expect you to actually need me.”
Maybe you reached out, hinted you could use some support, or actually asked for help, and they brushed it off. This excuse shows up when they misread your need as optional or exaggerated. It stings because it says they weren’t really paying attention. Reliable people don’t need a dramatic plea to show up. They notice the quiet signals and care enough to respond without needing to be begged.
13. “I’ve had a lot going on emotionally.”
Sometimes this is totally valid. But if it’s used every time they flake, ignore you, or ghost when it’s inconvenient for them, it starts to sound more like a pattern than a reason. Everyone goes through tough patches, but if someone consistently uses emotional overwhelm as a way to avoid accountability, it becomes a shield. It keeps you from asking questions while they keep doing what they want.
14. “I thought we were on the same page.”
They say this when expectations clearly weren’t met—like not showing up, forgetting plans, or dropping the ball on something you were counting on. It’s usually a way to avoid blame. Being on the same page doesn’t require mind-reading—it’s about communicating clearly. If someone keeps using this excuse, it usually means they’re assuming instead of checking in, which makes things shaky fast.
15. “I didn’t think it would matter if I was late.”
It sounds casual, but it reflects something bigger. Chronic lateness, especially when brushed off, often shows a lack of respect for your time. This excuse downplays the inconvenience they’ve caused. Reliable people know that being late isn’t just about showing up late—it’s about how it makes the other person feel. If someone doesn’t get that, it usually means they’re not thinking beyond themselves.
16. “I was going to tell you eventually.”
Source: Unsplash This one usually shows up when someone’s been hiding something, big or small. They say they were planning to come clean, but somehow, they never actually did. You had to find out on your own. That “eventually” rarely happens on its own. It’s a way to act like they were being honest without actually being honest. If you’re always the one chasing the truth, that’s not someone you can count on.
